The Scoop: It's Vegas, baby! The Rat Pack was groovy, and this film presents them at their height.
All the usual suspects are here (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Angie Dickinson, Joey Bishop, Peter Lawford) as well as a few other familiar ones (Cesar Romero, Norman Fell, Henry Silva, Akim Tamiroff), in this tale of Danny Ocean (Sinatra at his coolest) who brings together his old army buddies to pull off a daring heist -- robbing the five major Las Vegas casinos simultaneously at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. Director Lewis Milestone keeps the pace lively and fun, and the camaraderie between the Rat Packers is palpable on screen. Even though it clocks in at more than two hours, it flies by when you feel like you're in the company of old friends.
If you're a fan of old school Vegas or vintage midcentury modernism, this film has everything you need. Sure, Steven Soderbergh's 2001 remake might have had some good action and the presence of Clooney, Pitt, Damon, et al., but it still can't touch the original for great music, plenty of swingin' attitude and vintage Vegas atmosphere.
Best Line: "I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!" (This is a punchline to an old Dean Martin routine, which was borrowed by Shirley MacLaine when she ad-libbed her cameo appearance.)
Side Note: Because all the stars were such good pals, they ad-libbed big chunks of the dialogue, with a lot of the material coming from in jokes and private references.
Companion Viewing: "Swingers" (1996) and "Ocean's 11" (2001).
The Scoop: Herc is up to his usual shenanigans in yet another Italian muscle epic, the third entry in the "Hercules" series that Joseph E. Levine brought to America. Unfortunately, Steve Reeves isn't around, so Hercules is played by Reg Park, who mostly sleepwalks through the role. Seriously, several important plot points rely on Hercules being asleep. And when he's awake, he mostly just throws things and looks confused.
The title is somewhat misleading, since there's only one captive woman and she doesn't figure too much into the plot. Instead, the story concerns Hercules trying to overthrow an evil queen (played by Fay Spain) who is ruling the hidden island of Atlantis. All the Atlanteans worship the god Uranus, leading to plenty of unintentional crude humor in the dialogue.
This one is actually somewhat fun, if you don't think about it too much.
Best Line: "Uranus has abandoned us!"
Side Note: This was the first of Park's five films. He did two more as Hercules, and one each as Maciste and Ursus, a couple of Italian Hercules-knock off characters.
After the success of his 1940s radio series and 1950s TV series, Jack Webb brought "Dragnet," his life's work, to the big screen in this enjoyable adaptation. The story, involving the investigation into a gangland murder, uses the luxury of its expanded budget and running time to offer much more detail about the nitty gritty of detective work and the legal process than the television series. But the hard-boiled, straight-as-an-arrow Boy Scout spirit makes the big screen leap intact, and it positively sizzles.
Ben Alexander reprises his role as Friday's partner Frank Smith, while Webb also directs from a script by Richard L. Breen.
This was the first of three "Dragnet" feature films. It was followed first by a color film in 1966 that paired Webb with Harry Morgan and served as the springboard for the late '60s TV series. And then came the 1987 entry starring Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks, which doesn't even deserve to be considered part of the canon.
With excellent direction, the film captures some of the same mix of earnestness and cheesiness of the series, without being quite as camp as some of the 1960s TV series. Of course, by then the generation gap sparked by the counterculture was enough to make Webb's brand of law and order seem downright outdated. But in this film, in its element, it's still exciting stuff.
Best Bit: Friday explains the deductions on his paycheck.
Side Note: This was the first feature film ever spun off from TV show.
The Scoop: Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – a grizzled warrior must help a feisty princess escape from the clutches of an evil empire, with the help of a pair of bumbling accomplices who prove to be heroic in spite of themselves.
That’s the plot of Akira Kurosawa’s wonderful “The Hidden Fortress.” But throw in a naïve farm boy, an amoral smuggler and a Wookiee and you’ve got seed for Obi-Wan Kenobi’s rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star in “Star Wars.” George Lucas has famously cited “The Hidden Fortress” as the inspiration for his first “Star Wars” story, from which the rest of his complicated universe sprang.
Besides the spine of the plot, several other details were borrowed by Lucas, especially the early scenes introducing bickering peasant buddies Tahei and Matakishi, which resurfaced in R2-D2 and C-3PO’s adventures on Tatooine.
But while it’s fun to play “spot the inspiration,” it’s a mistake to judge “The Hidden Fortress” solely in the light of “Star Wars.” It’s another rousing samurai adventure from Kurosawa that more than stands on its own.
Toshiro Mifune is incredible as always as Makabe, the wise, battle weary general who must protect tomboyish teenage Princess Yuki (Misa Uehara) and her kingdom’s stash of gold, then smuggle them to safety in neighboring Hayawaka. Their native land of Azikuzi has been overrun by armies from Yamana, but once in Hayakawa, Yuki will be able to use the told to rebuild her army and take back her lands.
They find their ticket out with appearance of Tahei (Minoru Chiaki) and Matakishi (Kamatari Fujiwara), who just want to escape from the war and return to their homes in Hayakawa. Thanks to their unwitting assistance, the foursome is able to stay one step ahead of the pursuing Yamana soldiers, but not without plenty of hardship and comic relief on the way.
This isn’t Kurosawa’s best samurai epic, nor is it one of the first that springs to mind when thinking about his classics – but don’t consider that an insult. “The Hidden Fortress” easily stands alongside the likes of “The Seven Samurai,” “Yojimbo” or “Rashomon.” But if it doesn’t quite reach their heights, it’s still better than most other action/adventure fare from lesser directors. Kurosawa was one of the masters of cinema; we’d expect nothing less from him.
Best Bit: The escape on horseback.
Side Note: It wouldn't be a Kurosawa samurai classic without Mifune -- the two made 16 films together in a 17 year stretch from 1948 to 1965.
Companion Viewing: "Star Wars – Episode IV: A New Hope" (1977) and "The Seven Samurai" (1954).
The Scoop: Starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, Rory Calhoun and some of the deadliest rabbits outside of Monty Python, “Night of the Lepus” is one of the pioneering films in the ‘70s wave of eco-horror films and, needless to say, probably the silliest.
When Arizona rancher Cole Hillman’s (Calhoun) land is overrun with rabbits, he gets his university president pal Elgin Clark (Kelley) to call in heroic wildlife researchers Roy and Gerry Bennett (Whitman and Leigh) to find a nonpoisonous, environmentally friendly way to control the population. Unfortunately, the couple’s daughter Amanda (Melanie Fullerton) switches around some of the rabbits her parents are experimenting on, resulting in a plague of giant man-eating bunnies terrorizing the desert Southwest.
Director William F. Claxton and writers Don Holliday and Gene R. Kearney (working from what must be an absurd novel by Russell Braddon) throw in just about every genre cliché available, and while there is the occasional good moment, it’s just not enough. The fairly talented cast just sleepwalks through every scene and the script lets a lot of important pieces of plot happen offscreen. And no matter how much the breathless introduction tries to convince us how threatening rabbits can be, it’s all undercut by the ridiculous premise and bad slow motion effects.
“Night of the Lepus” is definitely a must-watch, but for all the wrong reasons.
Best Bit: The bunny attack inside the miner’s shack.
Side Note: The studio was afraid that if the audience knew the movie was about killer rabbits, they wouldn't watch it. So the novel's title ("The Year of the Angry Rabbit") was changed and no rabbits appeared on the original theater posters.
Companion Viewing: "Kingdom of the Spiders" (1977).
The Scoop: For one brief, shining moment this was the quintessential Biker Movie -- until the release of the far superior "Easy Rider" a few years later.
Peter Fonda plays Heavenly Blues, the leader of a biker gang from Southern California. When his buddy Loser (Bruce Dern) gets his bike stolen, they try to retrieve it, only for Loser to wind up badly hurt in the hospital. The gang tries to bust him out, only to have Loser die in the process. They hold a makeshift funeral and have a mourning party in an old church, which eventually leads to a confrontation with the local upstanding conservative citizens. And that's it. Pretty basic, really. Nancy Sinatra and Diane Ladd co-star in the obligatory girlfriend roles, while the rest of the gang is made up of various B-movie misfits and hangers-on.
While the plot and characters of "The Wild Angels" don't amount to much, the attitude and celebration of biker culture shine through. Despite its poor production values, it is a classic of its kind.
Best Line: "We want to be free! Free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride! To ride our machines without being hassled by the man! We want to get loaded! And we want to have a good time! And that's what we're gonna do! We're gonna have a good time! We're gonna have a party!"
Side Note: Rumor has it that Laura Dern was conceived on the set of this one.
Companion Viewing: "Easy Rider" (1969) and "The Wild One" (1954).
The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published March 31, 2009]
The Scoop: When Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' "Watchmen" was released in 1985, it became a landmark in the emerging genre of graphic novels and has cast a long shadow. Not only did it enlarge the storytelling possibilities in the comics field, but its effects have also been felt in the larger popular culture, particularly the way films and television shows have handled superhero themes. It was also very much a product of its times, delving deep into the Cold War anxieties of the mid-1980s.
All of which make any sort of film version of "Watchmen" especially problematic. As written by David Hayter ("X-Men") and newcomer Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), the film is full of thunder and excitement, but runs up against a few walls.
The story takes place in a darker, alternate version of 1985 America in which costumed adventurers and vigilantes are common place and, after their halcyon days in the 1940s, have become increasingly distrusted by the public for enforcing the oppresive policies of the U.S. government, led by Richard Nixon in his fifth term as president. Against the backdrop of escalating nuclear tensions between the U.S. and Soviet Union, the hero-turned-military-mercenary The Comedian is murdered. As the sociopathic vigilante Rohrshach tries to solve the crime, he and his former compatriots (including Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias) uncover corruption and a global power grab.
The novel's genius lies in its multi-layered storytelling, which is rich in symbolism, literary allusions and a wonderfully fleshed-out cast of supporting characters. The history of this alternate world is also richly detailed, providing a running commentary on the main story and rewarding careful attention. All these elements combine to debunk the idealized superhero mythos, turning a cynical eye to the corruption possible when so much power is concentrated in the hands of flawed human beings. It is a world that is less about Superman and more about Travis Bickle.
Accordingly, a faithful film adaptation is a pretty tall order. The Cold War paranoia has lost much of its edge in the nearly quarter century since its release, as had the shock of the novel's innovations. The filmmakers do their best to honor the source material, but come up with a mixed bag.
For the sake of brevity and to not alienate those who haven't read the novel, the filmmakers sweep aside much of the complex backstory for the film. While this serves to keep the focus on the current generation of heroes, it also diminishes the psychological realism of the piece. Consequently, a lot of the characters' actions exist in a vaccuum, and much of Moore's original message is lost. Almost all of the cast of minor characters is lost, too, making the proceedings seem so much thinner and one-dimensional.
And then there's the violence. While the novel and the film are each especially violent, they wind up being two different creatures. Snyder and his writers toned down many of the more brutal passages of the book in favor of Snyder's patented garish fight choreography. Limbs shatter and blood gushes in gruesome slow motion. It's hypnotic and balletic, but ultimately just eye candy. The amoral brutality that Moore used to illuminate his hard-edged characters is replaced by empty and gratuitous exercises in CGI wizardry.
But it's not all bad. The novel's greatest weakness -- its convoluted, inorganic ending -- is given a minor revamp here to better effect. It's still not wholly satisfying, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. There is also terrific cinematography by Larry Fong (a veteran of "300" and "Lost") that vividly brings to life some of the best parts of Gibbons' original artwork.
The acting, too, is solid. With the exception of a wooden turn by Malin Ackerman as the second Silk Spectre, this is a talented ensemble. Billy Crudup (as Dr. Manhattan) and Jackie Earle Haley (as Rohrshach) are particularly great.
In total, "Watchmen" is not completely successful, but it's not a failure, either. Just be sure to read the book first, to fully appreciate the story's rich possibilities.
Best Line: "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."
Side Note: Having been in development for decades, "Watchmen" has had numerous actors, writers and directors attached to the project at various times. Among the directors considered were Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greenglass and Michael Bay. Among the candidates to play Rohrshach were Robin Williams, Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig and Doug Hutchinson.
Companion Viewing: "V For Vendetta" (2005) and "The Incredibles" (2004).
The Scoop: This (mercifully) final installment in the "Airport" series reaches a zenith of silliness -- surpassing even the jumbo-jet-on-the-ocean-floor of "Airport '77" -- and provides most of the fodder for the hilarious "Airplane!"
A goodwill flight from Washington to Moscow is interrupted by missles, fighter planes, Charo's chihuahua and other intrigue. Along the way, the French pilot (Alain Delon) has lots of sex, Jimmie Walker gets high and plays the saxophone, Martha Raye gets tossed around the bathroom, Avery Schreiber makes funny faces and, best of all, George Kennedy dogfights with a pair of F-15s armed only with a flare gun. But wait, there's more! The seemingly endless cast list also includes Robert Wagner, Sylvia Kristel, Susan Blakely, David Warner, John Davidson, Eddie Albert, Cicely Tyson and a host of others.
It's all total trash. But it's highly entertaining trash. There's not a whole lot more to say about it except, damn, what a turkey. (But I mean that in the nicest possible way.)
Best Line: "Well, it's called the 'cockpit' for a reason..."
Side Note: The concorde used in the film was sold to Air France after the production, and it is the same plane that crashed on takeoff from Paris in July 2000, becoming France's worst air disaster.
Companion Viewing: "Airplane!" (1980) and the other films in the "Airport" series.
The Scoop: Sixteen years after the fact, the team behind the landmark "King Kong" -- producer Merian C. Cooper, director Ernest B. Schoedsack, special effects guru Willis O'Brien and actor Robert Armstrong -- return to their old stomping grounds to give the story a fresh, more kid-friendly twist with "Mighty Joe Young."
Blowhard producer Max O'Hara (Armstrong, essentially reprising his "King Kong" role) travels to Africa looking for wild animals to include in his latest vaudeville production. (Never mind the fact that vaudeville was all but dead by the late 1940s. Don't question Hollywood storytelling!) He and his guide Gregg (Ben Johnson) luck out by finding a 12-foot gorilla who was raised by a young woman named Jill (Terry Moore). Jill and her ape, now dubbed Mr. Joseph Young, are persuaded to travel back to America and go into show business. The show is a success for a while, until unruly audience members taunt Joe and push him too far. He goes on a rampage, then goes on the lam as Jill, Gregg and O'Hara try to keep him one step ahead of the cops and get him back to Africa.
Besides the same basic plot, "Mighty Joe Young" also shares the same thematic concerns as "King Kong" -- namely, the exploitation of Third World cultures and the tragedy of humankind's encroachment on nature. But the script by Ruth Rose gives these themes a lighter, more fun twist, complete with the happy ending that Kong deserved but never got. The biggest drawback is a final act that drags on a bit too long.
But the real treat here is the charming stop motion animation that brings Joe to life. While the character was designed by O'Brien, who got top billing, the majority of the actual animation work was done by his apprentice, the legendary Ray Harryhausen, who got his big break here. While the style isn't as smooth and expressive as most of Harryhausen's later work, it is still terrific, bringing a tender and almost humanistic side to Joe. And because Joe is smaller in stature in Kong, that means a lot more interaction with the human characters, which is pulled off skillfully thanks to the special effects team.
The end result is a wonderful companion piece to "King Kong" that is engaging and enjoyable. Forget the 1998 remake and stick with this one.
Best Bit: The first nightclub sequence, which is highlighted by a bravura tracking shot through a set that is quite literally larger than life. The set was too big to be built as it was envisioned, so the tracking shot is actually an optical composite of several smaller sets.
Side Note: Terry Moore had a long and varied career after this film. She was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar in 1953 for "Come Back, Little Sheba," then made the jump to television with guest roles in everything from "Rawhide" and "My Three Sons" to "Knight Rider" and "Murder, She Wrote." She even played a villain in the original "Batman" series, and was one of the executive producers of "America's Funniest Home Videos." In the 1970s claimed that she had had a long--term secret marriage to reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes.
Companion Viewing: "King Kong" (1933) and "Son of Kong" (1933).
The Scoop: Pixar has been around long enough now, and it's aesthetic has become firmly established enough, that the easy approach to evaluating each new film is to compare it Pixar's earlier releases. "Up," however, changes the expectations just a bit.
When we first meet Carl Frederickson (Ed Asner) he is a child in the Great Depression watching newsreel footage of his idol, explorer Charles Muntz, sharing his discoveries in Paradise Falls, somewhere in South America. The oddball Carl soon finds his match in fellow Muntz lover Ellie (Elie Docter). A montage quickly shows their life together -- fixing up their dream house; trying to save money to visit Paradise Falls, but never quite having enough; losing a baby and living childless; and finally Ellie's death, which leaves Carl alone and bitter.
This sets the stage for the main action, in which Carl not only escapes from the greedy developers who want to take his house, but also from the prison of his later years, by using balloons to fly his house away to Paradise Falls. Accidentally hitching along for the ride is overeager Nature Explorer scout Russell (Jordan Nagai). When they finally reach South America, they find a talking dog (Bob Peterson), a legendary bird and a few secrets about Muntz himself (Christopher Plummer). And, of course, it wouldn't be a Pixar movie without some lessons about the nature of family and cherishing the adventures of life.
The technical quality of Pixar's animation continues to evolve. While the characters are highly stylized takes on familiar animated "types," and the look of the scenery and camera work is the studio's most naturalistic yet. The aerial scenes are especially breathtaking.
Although there are some significant plot holes in the script by writer/directors Peterson and Pete Docter, they shouldn't be any concern for the young viewers who are ostensibly the main audience for "Up." But with the usual mix of comedy and action that are Pixar's hallmarks, Peterson and Docter have mixed in liberal doses of pathos, too. The many small compromises that get in the way of Carl and Ellie's dreams are vividly presented, as is the narrowness of Carl's later years. It's handled with a light enough touch to pass over the heads of younger kids, the message is unmistakable for the adult viewer.
It's this mix of humor and heavy subject matter that helps easily supplant "The Incredibles" as the most "adult" of Pixar's offerings so far. And it is also what makes "Up" so difficult to compare with Pixar's earlier efforts. Perhaps it is simply heralding the maturation of Pixar's vision, as the studio's earliest kiddie audiences are now moving into adulthood.
While "Up" may not be as flat-out fun as other Pixar films, the same message of living adventurously is still there, although it is delivered with some of the bitter pills of growing up.
Best Line: "My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you. "
Side Note: Of course, helium-filled balloons can't really pick up a house like that. And certainly not as many as shown in the movie. It would take a factor of more than 600 times more balloons to lift that much weight.
The Scoop: Elements of "2001: A Space Odyssey," "Apollo 13," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "Contact" collide in Brian De Palma's uneven space adventure about the first manned expeditions to Mars.
A scientific expedition, led by Don Cheadle, meets disaster on the Red Planet's surface, prompting international space station commander Tim Robbins to put together a rescue party (which includes Gary Sinise, Jerry O'Donnell and Connie Nielsen). The rescuers' rough, year-long journey to the surface takes up the bulk of the film's plot and nearly grinds it to a halt with its tedium. (Even De Palma's trademark suspense sequences are subpar here.)
After they finally make a hair-raising landing, the movie finally gets in gear for its intriguing final act, when the rescuers find the sole survivor (Cheadle) ranting madly about extraterrestrial intelligence. The action from this point is really the only reason to watch "Mission to Mars," even if you have to trudge through a clumsily expository introduction and the endless rescue journey to get to it.
What emerges is an exploration of the mythology surrounding the Cydonia Face (which has prompted true believers to adopt the movie as vindication of their conspiracy theories) and an explanation of life on Earth that eschews the obtuse spiritual speculations of those earlier films.
The screenplay-by-committee, full of predictable action and the occasional plothole, is the weakest link here. The actors are all strong, especially Cheadle, but unremarkable. And De Palma seems to be mailing it in, although he does rise to the occasion in a couple of key scenes. On the plus side are some good CGI effects and Ennio Morricone's incredible score. The sum total isn't exactly a winner, but it is enough to make "Mission to Mars" an interesting failure.
Best Line: "You're just not man enough to wear jewelry."
Side Note: The film is rife with scientific errors, not the least of which is the fact that all the planets are rotating in the wrong direction in the giant solar system model.
Companion Viewing: "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968), "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" (1977) and "Contact" (1997).
The Scoop: When Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' "Watchmen" was released in 1985, it became a landmark in the emerging genre of graphic novels and has cast a long shadow. Not only did it enlarge the storytelling possibilities in the comics field, but its effects have also been felt in the larger popular culture, particularly the way films and television shows have handled superhero themes. It was also very much a product of its times, delving deep into the Cold War anxieties of the mid-1980s.
All of which make any sort of film version of "Watchmen" especially problematic. As written by David Hayter ("X-Men") and newcomer Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), the film is full of thunder and excitement, but runs up against a few walls.
The story takes place in a darker, alternate version of 1985 America in which costumed adventurers and vigilantes are common place and, after their halcyon days in the 1940s, have become increasingly distrusted by the public for enforcing the oppresive policies of the U.S. government, led by Richard Nixon in his fifth term as president. Against the backdrop of escalating nuclear tensions between the U.S. and Soviet Union, the hero-turned-military-mercenary The Comedian is murdered. As the sociopathic vigilante Rohrshach tries to solve the crime, he and his former compatriots (including Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias) uncover corruption and a global power grab.
The novel's genius lies in its multi-layered storytelling, which is rich in symbolism, literary allusions and a wonderfully fleshed-out cast of supporting characters. The history of this alternate world is also richly detailed, providing a running commentary on the main story and rewarding careful attention. All these elements combine to debunk the idealized superhero mythos, turning a cynical eye to the corruption possible when so much power is concentrated in the hands of flawed human beings. It is a world that is less about Superman and more about Travis Bickle.
Accordingly, a faithful film adaptation is a pretty tall order. The Cold War paranoia has lost much of its edge in the nearly quarter century since its release, as had the shock of the novel's innovations. The filmmakers do their best to honor the source material, but come up with a mixed bag.
For the sake of brevity and to not alienate those who haven't read the novel, the filmmakers sweep aside much of the complex backstory for the film. While this serves to keep the focus on the current generation of heroes, it also diminishes the psychological realism of the piece. Consequently, a lot of the characters' actions exist in a vaccuum, and much of Moore's original message is lost. Almost all of the cast of minor characters is lost, too, making the proceedings seem so much thinner and one-dimensional.
And then there's the violence. While the novel and the film are each especially violent, they wind up being two different creatures. Snyder and his writers toned down many of the more brutal passages of the book in favor of Snyder's patented garish fight choreography. Limbs shatter and blood gushes in gruesome slow motion. It's hypnotic and balletic, but ultimately just eye candy. The amoral brutality that Moore used to illuminate his hard-edged characters is replaced by empty and gratuitous exercises in CGI wizardry.
But it's not all bad. The novel's greatest weakness -- its convoluted, inorganic ending -- is given a minor revamp here to better effect. It's still not wholly satisfying, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. There is also terrific cinematography by Larry Fong (a veteran of "300" and "Lost") that vividly brings to life some of the best parts of Gibbons' original artwork.
The acting, too, is solid. With the exception of a wooden turn by Malin Ackerman as the second Silk Spectre, this is a talented ensemble. Billy Crudup (as Dr. Manhattan) and Jackie Earle Haley (as Rohrshach) are particularly great.
In total, "Watchmen" is not completely successful, but it's not a failure, either. Just be sure to read the book first, to fully appreciate the story's rich possibilities.
Best Line: "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."
Side Note: Having been in development for decades, "Watchmen" has had numerous actors, writers and directors attached to the project at various times. Among the directors considered were Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greenglass and Michael Bay. Among the candidates to play Rohrshach were Robin Williams, Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig and Doug Hutchinson.
Companion Viewing: "V For Vendetta" (2005) and "The Incredibles" (2004).
The Scoop: Let's just cut to the chase here. This is one of the strangest, silliest movies you'll ever see.
Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas plays a secret agent who is a specialist in a martial arts discipline that is part gymnastics, part karate. Actually, in the hands of non-actor Thomas, it just winds up being all gymnastics and no karate. But that hardly matters, since the rest of the plot is pure gibberish anyway. There is some sort of a secret mission to a generic Eastern European country where Thomas has to play deathsports with other fighters. Somehow, a princess is involved, too.
Even after all these years, I'm still not sure what this all adds up to, but (spoiler alert!) the good guys win in the end. But that (and cracktastic fight choreography) is really about all you can expect from movies like this. It also happens to be Thomas' only movie role ever. I wonder why?
This one is a bad movie must.
Best Bit: The scene in which Thomas is chased down an alley by a gang of thugs, only to find a conveniently placed pommel horse, which he uses to defeat his enemies.
Side Note: This is actually based on a novel, "The Terrible Game" by Dan Tyler Moore. I dare you to read it.
Companion Viewing: I'm not sure what a good analogue for "Gymkata" would be. Maybe if you smooshed together "Enter the Dragon" (1973) and "Stick It" (2006), then drained out all the quality, that might come close.
The Scoop: It may be saddled with a predictable plot, silly fish-out-of-water jokes and a tone overly reminiscent of the "Lethal Weapon" movies (particularly the fourth one), but "Rush Hour" still manages to slide by on the combined charm of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker. Chan's incredible stunt work and Tucker's hilarious motor mouth have both been put to better use in other movies, but they still work well together and have fun showing off what they do best.
Basically, the plot (courtesy of director Brett Ratner and screenwriters Ross LaManna and Jim Kouf) is this -- a fast-talking LAPD cop teams up with a Hong Kong detective to find the kidnapped daughter of the Chinese consulate. The rest is filler and fluff and gags, but at least they are kept light and entertaining.
There are far, far worse ways to spend an hour and a half. Like watching any of the useless sequels, for instance.
Best Bit: The in-car singalong by Julia Hsu, who plays the little girl who gets kidnapped. I don't know why I love it so much, but I do.
Side Note: Jeff Nathanson, the screenwriter extraordinaire behind the turdbucket "Speed 2: Cruise Control" (1997) is also an uncredited writer here.
The Scoop: Ah yes, the 1970s disaster film -- where old actors go to die. This time around (the third of the four "Airport" films), the old Hollywood warhorses making fools of themselves are James Stewart, Olivia de Haviland and Joseph Cotten, all with their glory days far behind them.
The plot involves a huge airliner full of important people that sinks to the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle thanks to a botched hijacking attempt. Also along for the ride with the aging vets are a host of younger stars such as Jack Lemmon, Brenda Vaccaro, Christopher Lee, Monte Markham, Lee Grant (in an absolutely insane performance) and, of course, "Airport" series stalwart George Kennedy.
All the clichés (not to mention plot absurdities) are on parade. This film is very '70s -- intensely '70s, painfully '70s. It's cream puffs like this that the Zucker/Abrams/Zucker team were able to hit out of the park in "Airplane!" (1980). Becuase of them, it's so hard now to watch these movies with a straight face anymore. In short, this is an unintentional comedy classic.
Best Bit: Son: "Who's that, Mommy?" Mother: "That's your grandpa." Son: "Have I ever met him?" Mother: "Oh, once or twice."
Side Note: The costumes were designed by old Hollywood warhorse Edith Head, also rapidly reaching the end of her career.
Companion Viewing: "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972) and "Airport" (1970).
(Note: It's hiatus time again. The Movie Spot will return with new content in the last week of August.)
The Scoop: When a movie is especially good or especially bad, that makes it easy to review. When it's merely average, it becomes a tougher dragon to slay. And beyond that, there are the films that are really, really average -- vigorously non-descript in a way that seems intentionally designed not to make an impression.
And then there's "Stargate."
Nothing stands out about this movie. Every aspect is competent, but not particularly praiseworthy or blame-worthy. The script tries to give a new twist to the age-old theories that the Egyptian pyramids were built by ancient aliens, but even that is swallowed whole by the all-consuming blandness of the production. If it wasn't for the fact that it spawned the highly successful (and generally better) television series "Stargate: SG-1" and "Stargate: Atlantis," there would be nothing memorable about this film at all.
So what can you say about this movie? The script, by producer Dean Devlin and director Roland Emmerich, finds Egyptologist Daniel Jackson (played by Mr. Bland himself, James Spader) discovering an alien teleportation device that sends him, Col. Jack O'Neil (Kurt Russell) and a small strike force to a distant planet ruled by the androgynous Ra (Jaye Davidson).
All the familiar hallmarks that would turn up in later Devlin/Emmerich productions -- like "Independence Day" (1996) and "Godzilla" (1998) -- are here, but they don't manage to distinguish themselves like they did in those later films. True, the imagery and effects have a way of staying with you, but you can get that from just one viewing of a trailer -- you don't need to actually sit down and watch the whole movie. The rest is just eye candy.
Best Bit: There is none, unless you like bland.
Side Note: As one of the last pre-CGI sci-fi effects films, Devlin and Emmerich had to do their crowd scenes the old fashioned way -- with actual bodies instead of cloning actors in the computer. However, the production's tight budget made it too expensive to hire extras, so mannequins were used instead.
Companion Viewing: "The Fifth Element" (1997), "Stargate: SG-1" and "Stargate: Atlantis."
The Scoop: With all his bone-headed bravado, Steve Reeves makes a much better Hercules than Kevin Sorbo, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Reg Park, or any of the other actors who also became associated with the role. And this production, the former Mr. Universe's first outing in the character and imported to this country by Joseph E. Levine, is responsible for starting the cycle of Italian muscle epics that dominated the drive-ins in the late 1950s and early 1960s.
Ostensibly an adaptation of Herc's familiar story, this is actually a conglomeration of various Greek myths, thrown together Cuisinart-style for our enjoyment. Just don't look to this for any kind of accuracy. Sure, we get to see him perform some of his famous labors, but he mixes it up with the Amazons, hogs all the credit for Jason's recovery of the Golden Fleece, and even gets to do his best Samson impression.
This film is also a milestone in many ways. In his marketing of the movie in the U.S., Levine pioneered the concept of "saturation booking," in which a film is released on as many screens as possible on its opening weekend in an effort to maximize its up-front gross. This is standard practice among Hollywood blockbusters even to this day. Its success also single-handedly created the "sword and sandal" genre that would dominate the Italian film industry for the next decade.
"Hercules" is fun, albeit in a mindless, lazy Sunday afternoon sort of way. The undemanding story is pulled off with energy and bravado (something that certainly can't be said for the legions of imitators this film spawned) and Reeves seems perfectly comfortable in some of the most ridiculous circumstances. The cinematography in particular is impressive, but that should come as no surprise because it was handled by Italy's maestro of the art, Mario Bava.
Best Line: "The time goes slowly here at sea. I think I'll start a calendar -- one notch for each day."
Side Note: The tagline for the original U.S. release described Hercules as "Half god! Half pagan!"
The Scoop: T.N.T. Jackson (former Playboy Playmate Jeanne Bell) is a high-kickin', trash-talkin' sistah from the 'hood who travels to the Far East to seek her lost brother, only to get caught up in the international drug trade. But don't try to understand any more of the story beyond that -- it's hopeless.
This kung fu/blaxploitation hybrid tries to jump on the bandwagon that combined the era's two hottest grindhouse trends, but it just wound up with the worst of both worlds -- wooden acting, incomprehensible plot, bad dialogue, spastic editing, poor lighting, the works. Wu-Tang would be ashamed.
The one good thing it has going for it, though, is the wardrobe. Some of the finest, funkiest '70s fashions are on display here and provide the best reason to keep watching.
Best Line: "Yo' too fine for all this fightin'."
Side Note: The script was co-written by a pair of actors -- Roger Corman stalwart Dick Miller (best known for his roles in AIP cheapies like "The Little Shop of Horrors," "Bucket of Blood" and "Piranha") and Ken Metcalfe (a mainstay of '70s and '80s martial arts cinema, in films like "Enter the Ninja" and "Bamboo Gods and Iron Men").
Companion Viewing: The far superior "Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold" (1975).
The Scoop: "Volcano" isn't just a dumb movie -- it's a Big Dumb Movie. And they don't get much dumber or goofier than this.
Basically, a great big hidden volcano tries to push its way up through Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gabby Hoffman and Don Cheadle try to stop it. Or something. The plot doesn't make much sense, and the characters make even less. But what you do get is plenty of bogus geological information, plenty of fire and explosions, plenty of L.A. landmarks being destroyed, plenty of running around, and plenty of bad dialogue and overacting. But most of all, you get clichés -- lots and lots of your favorite movie clichés.
The end result is a cheeseball classic for the ages.
Best Lines: Oh, there are just so many, where do I begin? "You don't understand -- he's my responsibility!" "It burns! It burns!" "Man, this Hieronymous Bosch is heavy!" "I'm about to become the volcano version of Rodney King!" "There's no history of anything until it happens. Then there is."
Side Note: This was nominated for a Razzie for "Worst Reckless Disregard for Human Life and Public Property," but lost out to "Con Air."
The Scoop: One of the best, if underrated, action movies of the '70s, "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three" stars Walter Matthau playing against type to excellent effect as a shrewd New York subway cop who must outsmart a gang of thugs (led by the always terrifically villainous Robert Shaw) who hijack a train car full of passengers.
Director John Sargeant and screenwriter Peter Stone (working from John Godey's novel) tell this gripping story with equal parts suspense and humor. Matthau and Shaw get plenty of great support from a cast that includes Martin Balsam, Hector, Elizondo, Dick O'Neil and Jerry Stiller. But more than that, the city of New York itself, in all its dysfunctional '70s glory, becomes a central player in the drama, creating a vivid record of a specific time and place. Watch this one as much for the vibe of the city as for the story.
(And if the the hijackers' colorful codenames sound familiar, it's because they were later used by Quentin Tarantino in "Reservoir Dogs.")
Best Bit: That last ironic shot, and the look on Matthau's face.
Side Note: The New York Transit Authority was so paranoid about copycat crimes that they wouldn't let the film be shot on location unless the studio purchased anti-hijacking insurance. It turned out not to be needed, but they neglected to take the same precautions later with the very-derivative "Money Train" (1995), which did spawn an imitative subway hijacking.
Companion Viewing: "The French Connection" (1971).
The Scoop:
