Catalina Caper (1967).

The Scoop:
Get your flippy-floppies, people, because we're going on a boat!

The 1960s was awash in "Beach Party" knockoffs, and "Catalina Caper" was one of the worst of the bunch. While on a sunny summer vacation to Catalina Island, a group of groovy teens stop an inept group of upper crust thieves who are trying to smuggle some sort of valuable scroll out of the local museum, while rocking out to the occasional musical guest star. The intentions here are good and the acting and filmmaking are technically competent, but the story is a sorry mishmash.

If you're a B-movie fan, you find a lot of familiar faces here, including Tommy Kirk ("Mars Needs Women"), Del Moore ("Bachelor Father"), Jim Begg ("Village of the Giants"), Sue Casey ("Beach Girls and the Monster"), Michael Blodgett ("Beyond the Valley of the Dolls") and even Wonder Woman's" Lyle Wagonner. The musical numbers come courtesy of the Cascades, Carol Connors and the wildly out of place Little Richard.

These '60s teens-in-the-sun movies are always a fun diversion and worth your time -- even the ones with as many shortcomings as this one. It's worth checking out, even for the unintentional laughs.

Best Line:
"Look! The water fuzz!"

Side Note:
The Cascades' song "There's a New World Just Opening For Me" was written by Ray Davies of the Kinks.

Companion Viewing:
"Beach Party" (1963).

Links:
IMDb.
Daddy-O's Drive-In Dirt.

Take a Look:
Little Richard! On a boat! Singing about scuba diving! I know, right?

The Bloody Pit of Horror (a.k.a., The Crimson Executioner) (1965).

The Scoop:
In this bargain basement Italian production, a group of models, photographers and assorted hangers-on visit an old castle for a photo shoot, only to run into the demented owner who thinks he's possessed by the spirit of the Crimson Executioner, a 17th century torturer.

Despite the poor acting and technical incompetence, this is charming in its own sleazy way and is most notable for the presence of Mickey (Mr. Jayne Mansfield) Hargitay, who plays the owner. He camps it up big time, and the camera obviously loves his oiled-up body. He's the highlight of the movie, although the torture and titillation, which are very tame by today's standards, hold a certain cheesy charm on their own terms.

Don't you dare call yourself a bad movie lover if you haven't seen this one yet.

Best Line:
"Mankind is made up of inferior creatures, spiritually and physically deformed, who would have corrupted the harmony of my perfect body."

Side Note:
Hartigay won the Mr. Universe title in 1955 and followed that up with a string of B-movies, including "Hercules vs. the Hydra" and "Lady Frankenstein." His rocky six-year marriage to Mansfield was tabloid fodder throughout the late 1950s and early 1960s,, and their daughter Mariska Hartigay has won both an Emmy and a Golden Globe for starring in "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit."

Companion Viewing:
"Baron Blood" (1972) and "Lady Frankenstein" (1971).

Links:
IMDb.
Cool Cinema Trash.
Images Journal.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Mickey chews some scenery:

Ocean's 11 (1960).

The Scoop:
It's Vegas, baby! The Rat Pack was groovy, and this film presents them at their height.

All the usual suspects are here (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Angie Dickinson, Joey Bishop, Peter Lawford) as well as a few other familiar ones (Cesar Romero, Norman Fell, Henry Silva, Akim Tamiroff), in this tale of Danny Ocean (Sinatra at his coolest) who brings together his old army buddies to pull off a daring heist -- robbing the five major Las Vegas casinos simultaneously at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. Director Lewis Milestone keeps the pace lively and fun, and the camaraderie between the Rat Packers is palpable on screen. Even though it clocks in at more than two hours, it flies by when you feel like you're in the company of old friends.

If you're a fan of old school Vegas or vintage midcentury modernism, this film has everything you need. Sure, Steven Soderbergh's 2001 remake might have had some good action and the presence of Clooney, Pitt, Damon, et al., but it still can't touch the original for great music, plenty of swingin' attitude and vintage Vegas atmosphere.

Best Line:
"I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!" (This is a punchline to an old Dean Martin routine, which was borrowed by Shirley MacLaine when she ad-libbed her cameo appearance.)

Side Note:
Because all the stars were such good pals, they ad-libbed big chunks of the dialogue, with a lot of the material coming from in jokes and private references.

Companion Viewing:
"Swingers" (1996) and "Ocean's 11" (2001).

Links:
IMDb.
Fan page with sound bites.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Sammy Davis Jr. sings "Ee-O 11":

Hercules and the Captive Women (1961).

The Scoop:
Herc is up to his usual shenanigans in yet another Italian muscle epic, the third entry in the "Hercules" series that Joseph E. Levine brought to America. Unfortunately, Steve Reeves isn't around, so Hercules is played by Reg Park, who mostly sleepwalks through the role. Seriously, several important plot points rely on Hercules being asleep. And when he's awake, he mostly just throws things and looks confused.

The title is somewhat misleading, since there's only one captive woman and she doesn't figure too much into the plot. Instead, the story concerns Hercules trying to overthrow an evil queen (played by Fay Spain) who is ruling the hidden island of Atlantis. All the Atlanteans worship the god Uranus, leading to plenty of unintentional crude humor in the dialogue.

This one is actually somewhat fun, if you don't think about it too much.

Best Line:
"Uranus has abandoned us!"

Side Note:
This was the first of Park's five films. He did two more as Hercules, and one each as Maciste and Ursus, a couple of Italian Hercules-knock off characters.

Companion Viewing:
"Hercules" (1958).

Links:
IMDb.
Eccentirc Cinema.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


The full film:

Turkey Day Marathon, Day 5: Red Zone Cuba (1966).

One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #619, "Red Zone Cuba." (Originally published Aug. 7, 2009):

The Scoop:
This is yet another Coleman Francis/Anthony Cardoza turd, only this time it is apparently Francis' grand artistic statement.

Back in the '60s and '70s, just about anybody could get John Carradine to appear in their film for about the cost of a ham sandwich, so Francis apparently blew his budget on that, and then wasted the whole thing in the first two minutes of the movie. In the opening scene, Carradine turns up as a grizzled railway worker who is telling this story to a nondescript bystander. After this incredibly short day's work, Carradine disappears from the movie forever, but not before croaking the horrendously awful theme song.

From there, the real story starts. An escaped convict (played by the auteur himself, who also wrote, directed, produced and edited this red-baiting debacle) gets mixed up with five or six revolutionaries who try to invade Cuba. After an excursion that makes the Bay of Pigs look like an epic triumph, our intrepid non-heroes get captured, and a couple of them try a semi-daring escape before getting hunted down by a half-hearted posse back in the States.

At least, that's what the plot seems to indicate. Mostly, "Red Zone Cuba" just meanders from scene to scene, without much differentiation between one setting and the next. In fact, if this film is to be believed, Cuba is just a little town in the California desert. And I think the guy with the cigar and glued-on beard is supposed to be Fidel Castro.

Best Line:
"I'm Cherokee Jack!"

Side Note:
Apparently Cherokee Jack's plane is still in use, and is currently being flown out of a small airport in Alaska.

Companion Viewing:
"The Beast of Yucca Flats" (1961) and "Invasion U.S.A." (1952).

Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
Daddy-O's Drive-In Dirt.

Take a Look:
Just try to be entertained. I dare you:

Red Zone Cuba: the first 5 minutes @ Yahoo! Video

The MST3K version:

Turkey Day Marathon, Day 4: Gamera vs. Barugon (1966).

One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #K04 and #304, "Gamera vs. Barugon." (Originally published March 9, 2009):

The Scoop:
The flying turtle madness continues!

Let's move on to the second installment in the Gamera franchise, "Gamera vs. Barugon." This time around not only is the action in color, but Gamera also makes the leap from nuclear-spawned menace to friendly protector of the Earth, just like Godzilla did in his series a decade earlier.

The bad guy role is filled by Barugon, a four-legged dinosaur/lizard/dog type thing who shoots a hilariously non-menacing rainbow ray from his back, and who can also freeze things with his tongue. Quite the odd combination, but trust me, this is one of least strange things we'll see in this series.

Some treasure hunters set the plot in motion when they bring a giant opal back to civilization, only to discover that the opal is actually an egg. Pretty soon, out pops Barugon, who proceeds to stomp the crap out of the parts of Tokyo that hadn't previously been stomped in the other kaiju movies. Finally, Gamera shows up to put the critter in his place.

On the human side we get the usual roles we're used to seeing in these movies -- committed scientist, bland girlfriend, rigid military brass, etc. They're played ably enough by the likes of Kojiro Hondo, Kyoko Emani, Yuzo Hayakawa and Takuya Fujioka, but there's really not much for them to do. Even Gamera doesn't get much to do other than show up at the end to lay the smack down.

This is pretty much the Barugon show from start to finish, resulting in what is easily the most boring of the Gamera series.

Best Line:
"That monster destroys everything with his tongue!"

Side Note:
The original Japanese title is "Daikaiju Keto: Gamera tai Barugon" (literally translated, "Giant Monster Duel: Gamera Against Barugon"). When American International Pictures bought the film for U.S. distribution in the late 1960s, they cut 14 minutes of footage and retitled it "War of the Monsters." In the 1980s, Sandy Frank secured the video distribution rights. He restored the missing footage, redubbed the dialogue and retitled the whole thing "Gamera vs. Barugon." So which version should you see? Frankly, it doesn't really matter since the missing footage is so yawn-inducing, it doesn't actually detract from the movie. But it sure makes it go by quicker.

Companion Viewing:
Any other Gamera or Godzilla film you can get your hands on.

Links:
IMDb.
1,000 Misspent Hours.
The Shrine of Gamera.

Take a Look:
The opening titles:


The MST3K version (from their KTMA season):

Turkey Day Marathon, Day 2: The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961).

One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #621, "The Beast of Yucca Flats." (Originally published April 8, 2008):

The Scoop:
Forget about all the hype about "Plan 9 From Outer Space" being the worst movie of all time. There are plenty of other contenders for that title that are far more deserving, and "The Beast of Yucca Flats" is one of them.

Not only is this writer/director (and bottom-of-the-barrel-scraper) Coleman Francis' first film (produced by good pal and eternal lead actor Anthony Cardoza), but it also stars the inimitable Tor Johnson. A respected nuclear scientist (played by Johnson, which immediately shoots down any credibility the film might have) wanders too close to an A-bomb test and is turned feral. It's then up to the local sheriff and a pal to hunt him down.

Or something.

Believe me, after five minutes, you won't even bother to keep track of the plot anymore. That's because what plot there is simply involves the actors wandering aimlessly about the desert landscape to no good purpose. And because all the audio got accidentally erased during postproduction, all the dialogue is summarized in nonsensical voice-over narration.

There was nowhere for Francis' career to go from here but up. So his two follow-up movies -- "The Skydivers" from 1963 and 1966's "Night Train to Mundo Fine" (better known as "Red Zone Cuba") -- are still incompetent in their own right, but at least are a marked improvement over this one. Simply having meaningful action and onscreen dialogue will do that.

Best Line:
"Flag on the moon. How did it get there?"

Side Note:
Between directing projects, Francis tried to make his living as a bit actor, playing blink-and-you'll-miss-them parts in a number of films, including "This Island Earth" (1954) and "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (1970).

Companion Viewing:
"The Creeping Terror" (1964).

Links:
IMDb.
The Astounding B-Monster's interview with Anthony Cardoza.
Daddy-O's Drive In Dirt.

Take a Look:
Thrill to this exciting hand-to-hand combat!


The YouTube gods have blessed us with the entire film. Repay them by watching it, won't you?


The MST3K version:

The Green Slime (1968).

The Scoop:
Flora, a “class two asteroid” suddenly takes a left turn starts hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. The only man qualified to stop this menace and save the world is studly rocket jock Jack Rankin (Robert Horton), who must team up with arch-nemesis Capt. Elliott (Richard Jaeckel) to destroy the killer rock. They’re successful, but they find out on the way home that they’ve mistakenly picked up an alien slime that spawns silly tentacle creatures with a taste for human flesh. Meanwhile, in between rousing bouts of square-jawed heroism, Rankin and Elliott fight over sexy doctor Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi).

So basically, this starts out as “Armageddon” and then turns into “Alien.”

This Japanese production is filled with the cheap effects and clunky performances you’d expect from your favorite Godzilla movie, but with a cast of American and Italian actors. It’s completely laugh-worthy, of course, but the best thing about it is the swinging title by Richard Delvy, quite possibly the best theme song of any movie ever.

Best Bit:
Besides the theme song? It's the groovy welcome back party. It's too swingin' for Earth, so they had to hold it on a space station.

Side Note:
All the extras are American military personnel who were based in Japan at the time.

Companion Viewing:
"The Wild, Wild Planet" (1965).

Links:
IMDb.
BadMovies.org.
Monster Island News.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


The theme song!

Charade (1963).

The Scoop:
Two of Hollywood's classic romantic leads, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, team up for this great suspense thriller, their only cinematic pairing.

Hepburn is Regina Lampert, a widow who discovers that her dead husband had a secret past and a big stash of hidden loot. Pretty soon, all his old cohorts are chasing her through Paris and it's up to Grant to save her -- if she can trust him. Where's the money hidden? Who will the killer strike next? The viewer is kept guessing right up to the end and Hepburn and Grant keep the romantic sparks flying. The supporting cast is filled with familiar faces, including James Coburn, George Kennedy and Walter Matthau.

Produced and directed by Stanley Donen, best known for his musicals, "Charade" is smart, witty and stylish. The script by Peter Stone is great, as is the music by Henry Mancini. Top notch all the way. This is one of the best films Hitchcock never made.

Best Bit:
Just pick any bit of banter between Hepburn and Grant. It's all great.

Side Note:
At the British Academy Awards, this performance earned Grant a nomination for Best Foreign Actor -- even though he was born and raised in London.

Companion Viewing:
"Suspicion" (1941) and "The Usual Suspects" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Sweet Sunday Mornings.
The screenplay.

Take a Look:
The deadpan trailer:


Time for a shower!

The Wild Angels (1966).

The Scoop:
For one brief, shining moment this was the quintessential Biker Movie -- until the release of the far superior "Easy Rider" a few years later.

Peter Fonda plays Heavenly Blues, the leader of a biker gang from Southern California. When his buddy Loser (Bruce Dern) gets his bike stolen, they try to retrieve it, only for Loser to wind up badly hurt in the hospital. The gang tries to bust him out, only to have Loser die in the process. They hold a makeshift funeral and have a mourning party in an old church, which eventually leads to a confrontation with the local upstanding conservative citizens. And that's it. Pretty basic, really. Nancy Sinatra and Diane Ladd co-star in the obligatory girlfriend roles, while the rest of the gang is made up of various B-movie misfits and hangers-on.

While the plot and characters of "The Wild Angels" don't amount to much, the attitude and celebration of biker culture shine through. Despite its poor production values, it is a classic of its kind.

Best Line:
"We want to be free! Free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride! To ride our machines without being hassled by the man! We want to get loaded! And we want to have a good time! And that's what we're gonna do! We're gonna have a good time! We're gonna have a party!"

Side Note:
Rumor has it that Laura Dern was conceived on the set of this one.

Companion Viewing:
"Easy Rider" (1969) and "The Wild One" (1954).

Links:
IMDb.
Motherfucking Masterpieces.

Take a Look:
The opener:


Party!


Peter Fonda sticks it to The Man in one of the all-time great movie speeches:

Summer Rerun: Targets (1968).

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published Dec. 14, 2006]

The Scoop:
While "Targets" presents the story of a moral crossroads, it also represents a cinematic crossroads -- the end of the brilliant Boris Karloff's career and the start of Peter Bogdanovich's.

In his writing and directing debut, Bogdanovich crafts this cautionary, semi-autobiographical tale of aging horror movie star Byron Orlok (played by Karloff), who decides to leave the business when he realizes his life's work can't compare to the real horrors taking place on America's streets everyday. The clips of Orlok's past work are taken from the classic performances of Karloff, and to complete the real-life parallels, Bogdanovich even casts himself as the young director making Orlok's last film. There is also a parallel plot concerning a troubled young man who goes on a shooting spree that is sadly all too familiar in our post-Columbine world. These two plot strands cross when the young shooter takes refuge in a drive-in theater that turns out to be the site of Orlok's last public appearance before retirement.

This film offers an interesting exploration of the role of the entertainment media in the social upheaval of the late-'60s (it was released in the late spring of 1968, shortly after the assassination of Martin Luther King, but before the shooting of Robert Kennedy) that has grown even more prescient today. And Bogdanovich challeges the viewer by filming from the point of view of the shooter, putting the audience in the killer's shoes.

Despite his obviously failing health, Karloff gives the strongest, most human portrayal of a career marked my more depth than most horror actors'. In a perfect world, this swan song performance would've been recognized with an Oscar. Instead, the poverty-stricken Karloff followed his performance here with appearances (confined to a wheelchair) in a quartet of bad Mexican cheapies, filmed over the course of a couple weeks, before dying in 1969. But forget those duds -- this is the true, final summation of one of the truly great acting careers in film.

Best Line:
Karloff's summation, "Is that what I was afraid of?"

Best Bit:
The staging of the freeway shooting scene.

Side Notes:
1) Bogdanovich originally offered the lead role to Vincent Price, who turned it down. 2) The film showing in the drive-in at the end of the movie is "The Terror" (1963), in which Karloff costarred with a young Jack Nicholson. 3) The victim who dies in the phone booth is none other than Mike Farrell, who went on to a more distinguished career in television, starring in "M*A*S*H" and "Providence."

Companion Viewing:
Two of this film's cinematic descendents -- "Taxi Driver" (1976) and "Natural Born Killers" (1994).

Links:
IMDb.
Wikipedia.
Horror-Wood.

Take a Look:
A kinda spoiler-y TV spot:


Here's Boris Karloff spinning a classic scary tale:


And then there's this...

Red Zone Cuba (a.k.a., Night Train to Mundo Fine) (1966).

The Scoop:
This is yet another Coleman Francis/Anthony Cardoza turd, only this time it is apparently Francis' grand artistic statement.

Back in the '60s and '70s, just about anybody could get John Carradine to appear in their film for about the cost of a ham sandwich, so Francis apparently blew his budget on that, and then wasted the whole thing in the first two minutes of the movie. In the opening scene, Carradine turns up as a grizzled railway worker who is telling this story to a nondescript bystander. After this incredibly short day's work, Carradine disappears from the movie forever, but not before croaking the horrendously awful theme song.

From there, the real story starts. An escaped convict (played by the auteur himself, who also wrote, directed, produced and edited this red-baiting debacle) gets mixed up with five or six revolutionaries who try to invade Cuba. After an excursion that makes the Bay of Pigs look like an epic triumph, our intrepid non-heroes get captured, and a couple of them try a semi-daring escape before getting hunted down by a half-hearted posse back in the States.

At least, that's what the plot seems to indicate. Mostly, "Red Zone Cuba" just meanders from scene to scene, without much differentiation between one setting and the next. In fact, if this film is to be believed, Cuba is just a little town in the California desert. And I think the guy with the cigar and glued-on beard is supposed to be Fidel Castro.

Best Line:
"I'm Cherokee Jack!"

Side Note:
Apparently Cherokee Jack's plane is still in use, and is currently being flown out of a small airport in Alaska.

Companion Viewing:
"The Beast of Yucca Flats" (1961) and "Invasion U.S.A." (1952).

Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
Daddy-O's Drive-In Dirt.

Take a Look:
Just try to entertained. I dare you:

Red Zone Cuba: the first 5 minutes @ Yahoo! Video

The Sidehackers (a.k.a., Five the Hard Way) (1969).

The Scoop:
This film blows the cover off the new sport of sidehacking -- guys racing motorcycles with homemade sidecars welded on to them. Obviously, it never quite caught on. And with films like this promoting it, it's no wonder.

What vague plot there is concerns a mostly-shirtless racer with the improbable name of Rommel (played by Ross Hagen) who seeks revenge against rival rider J.C. (Michael Pataki) for killing his girlfriend (Diane McBain). The beginning features an extended clichéd montage of the lovers romping through a meadow -- and the laughs just keep coming from there.

Weird and violent, with plenty of bad direction by Gus Trikonis (who later found a home directing several episodes of "Baywatch") and bad camera work by cinematographer Jon Hall (who wouldn't work on another film for 20 years). There were a slew of bad biker films flooding the drive-ins in that period, but this was among the worst.

Best Line:
"That's the nice thing about little girls -- they can grow up to be women."

Side Note:
Rumor has it that Goldie Hawn (who was married to Trikonis at the time) was an uncredited extra in this film, but not even the awesome power of the internet can confirm whether this is true. Keep an eye peeled while you watch it and judge for yourself.

Companion Viewing:
"The Wild Angels" (1966).

Links:
IMDb.
Daddy'O's Drive-In Dirt.
The Screengrab.

Take a Look:
Some bits and pieces:


You can watch the whole thing on the YouTube installment plan, starting here:


Some real life sidehackers. Don't try this at home, kids!

How the West Was Won (1962).

The Scoop:
This is a big story told on a big canvas.

The tale of America's westward expansion is told through three generations of a single family, with plenty of exciting action, gorgeous photography and even a history lesson to boot. There are stars galore to suit the larger-than-life subject matter -- James Stewart, Gregory Peck, John Wayne, Debbie Reynolds, Henry Fonda, Richard Widmark, Robert Preston and Walter Brennan, just to name a few.

Filmed in Cinerama -- the wide screen megaformat that was a precursor to the modern IMAX format -- the cinematography still manages to dazzle even on the small screen at home; but it's the type of movie that should only be seen in letterbox, or not at all. The Cinerama process does wonders for the wide-open vistas of the West, and directors Henry Hathaway, John Ford, George Marshall and Richard Thorpe use that to full advantage. Cinerama's one drawback is the way it minimizes intimacy and human scale, but that hardly matters here. The crew of directors have found ingenious ways to work around it -- every frame is permeated with a sense of proud heroism that never grows preachy.

It's a corny sort of Americana, but it's one that's executed well. However if the story drags too much for you, you can just lose yourself in the fabulous visuals. A true American movie.

Best Bit:
The white-knuckle river rapids scene.

Side Note:
The uncredited narrator is Spencer Tracy.

Companion Viewing:
Something else equally epic from the same period -- say, "Ben Hur" (1959) or "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" (1962).

Links:
IMDb.
Fan site.
Wikipedia explains the Cinerama process.

Take a Look:
The trailer. Check out the cast of gazillions:


The train robbery:


Remember when movies had overtures and intermissions? Those were the days...

Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (1966).

The Scoop:
Don't you just love the tagline on that poster?

Anyway, in this cheap Italian-produced sequel to "Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine," the nefarious doctor (Vincent Price) is back and making robot women again -- only this time, they explode. The plot involves another attempt to take over the world and it doesn't really make much sense.

In place of Frankie Avalon in the swinging teen heart-throb spy role we get Fabian trying to keep his fading career alive. Also along for the ride are Laura Antonelli (paid to do nothing but look gorgeous, and succeeding) and the terribly unfunny Italian comedy team of Franco and Ciccio (who never got popular in America for good reason).

Even with the addition of more girls, this terrible, slapsticky sequel can't even live up to the low standards of the first. It's so bad that Price has to stop the movie about 20 minutes through to deliver some pointless exposition directly to the audience, because it would be too hard to actually work it into the story. The final chase devolves into a bad silent movie (literally) before eventually taking a Strangelovian twist.

Watch it for the girls (and maybe a touch of '60s mod style), but otherwise stay away. Stay far away.

Best Line:
"Ah yes, an exact reproduction -- programmed for love and destruction!"

Side Note:
Directed by horror maestro Mario Bava, who obviously would do anything for a buck (or a lira).

Companion Viewing:
"Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" (1965) or the "Batman" TV series.

Links:
IMDb.
Giallo Fever.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Homicidal (1961).

The Scoop:
Producer/huckster extraordinaire William Castle's attempt to cash in on the success of Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" is actually surprisingly good in its own right.

A young woman returns to her family mansion in a small town to claim her half of an inheritance. However, her brother and their elderly nanny's caretaker (don't ask) have other ideas.

Even though the killer is identified in the first 10 minutes, the script keeps the viewer guessing about motives until the end, and the sly visual references to "Psycho" make the blatant plot appropriations more palatable.

This is all enough on it's own to make a fun film, but then there's Castle's gimmick this time around. It's the "fright break," in which the film pauses for 45 seconds right before the climactic scene to that viewers who are too scared can retreat to the lobby and stand in the "Coward's Corner."

Shot in the cheesy tourist trap town of Solvang, California, "Homicidal" also features one of the most dysfunctional cinematic families this side of "Spider Baby," as well as a great, campy performance by Joan Marshall.

It's films like this that give B-movies a good name.

Best Bit:
Karl, the nerdy hero (played by Glenn Corbett), overreacts to some minor vandalism in the flower shop: "What kind of mind would do something like this? More like an animal than a human being!"

Side Note:
The bathrobe worn by the justice of the peace was reused by Castle for the 1963 film "13 Frightened Girls!"

Companion Viewing:
"Psycho" (1960) and "Die, Mommie, Die!" (2003).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The low budget trailer:


Two dollars extra for the music? What a rip-off!


The fright break, followed by the big reveal, which seems strangely familiar. (Warning: spoilers!):

Gamera vs. Guiron (a.k.a., Attack of the Monsters) (1969).

The Scoop:
This fifth film in the original Gamera cycle takes a strange turn (and for a Gamera movie, that's really saying something), becoming a goofy, psychedelic kids movie.

Two children, who seem inordinately preoccupied with high toll of traffic accidents, discover an abandoned spaceship, so they decide to fly it back to its home planet. There, on the far side of the sun, they meet an alien civilization that consists entirely of two brain-eating women in tight costumes who want to conquer the Earth. Gamera comes along and saves the day by fighting Guiron, the alien girls' pet razor-headed monster. An outer space version of Gaos even puts in an appearance to make it a true kaiju monster mash.

The poor quality of the dubbing in these movies reaches new lows here -- especially ridiculous is the halting delivery by the scientist in the opening scene, which even puts William Shatner to shame. But it's all great, colorful fun that, oddly enough, is actually helped by the raging technical incompetence of the American version. Probably the best of the Gamera films.

Best Line:
"They might be much more civilized up there than we are here on Earth, with no wars or traffic accidents."

Side Note:
Tom, the American kid, is played by Christopher Murphy, who grew up to play supporting roles in "Valley Girl" (1983) and "The Abyss" (1989).

Companion Viewing:
"Godzilla vs. Megalon" (1973) and the other Gamera films.

Links:
IMDb.
Shrine of Gamers.
BadMovies.org.
1,000 Misspent Hours.

Take a Look:
Gamera dishes out a giant turtle sized beatdown. (Note the fine form on the high bar, setting a fight choreography trend that was years ahead of Gymkata.):


Sure, Space-Gaos talks a good game, but just look how easily he's taken out by Guiron:

Gamera vs. Viras (a.k.a., Destroy All Planets) (1968).

The Scoop:
Sick of Gamera yet? I hope not!

You know how all your favorite sitcoms invariably have a clip show, consisting of a framing device followed by scenes from earlier episodes? Well, this is the equivalent of that for the Gamera series. You'd think the fourth episode would be too soon to go the nostalgic filler route, but you'd be wrong.

The film starts with a great opening sequence, probably the best in the series. Some aliens -- in a ship that looks like it was made of ping pong balls -- approach Earth as their leader makes a pompous speech about destroying humanity and taking over the planet. Then, without warning, Gamera pops up on their viewscreen and basically says, "It's on, bitches!" and proceeds to tear their ship apart while the aliens pee their pants in terror.

After this fun, the credits roll and we're whisked away to a Boy Scout jamboree where a scientist is also testing a new kind of submarine. It's the same kitschy silliness you'd except from a kaiju movie, but done better than most. Two of the more precocious Boy Scouts are allowed to take the sub out for a spin, where they encounter Gamera in his undersea hideout.

Meanwhile, a second crew of aliens arrives to avenge their fallen comrades, and then the tedium begins. The aliens decide to learn all by can about Gamera by running a seemingly endless reel of his battles from the first three films.

When we finally get back to our main story, the aliens (who dress like French existentialists) kidnap the sub-driving Boy Scouts and try to battle Gamera with a mind control device. For the scene where the aliens make Gamera destroy Tokyo, director Noriaki Yuasa opted not to shoot new footage, but rather to use the rather incongruous black and white footage from the first movie.

Finally, when Gamera and the kids escape, the aliens merge into a single monster, a giant squid named Viras, only to be beaten down my Gamera.

Despite a couple of slow stretches, the main story action holds up pretty good in comparison the other Gamera films. Unfortunately, this is undermined by the over-reliance on old clips.

Best Bit:
Did I mention I liked the opening sequence?

Side Note:
Kojiro Hondo, who plays the scout master, has had a long and distinguished career in Japanese film and television. In addition to all his other credits, he has appeared in two other Gamera movies -- "Gamera vs. Barugon" (1966) and "Gamera: Guardian of the Universe" (1995).

Companion Viewing:
Normally I'd recommend the other Gamera films, but I don't have to since they're already included here.

Links:
IMDb.
Sci-Fi Movie Page.

Take a Look:
The Japanese trailer:


Here's that fabulous opening sequence. (You know, I'm probably a lot fonder of this than I have a right to be.):

Gamera vs. Gaos (1967).

The Scoop:
Ready for more Gamera, boys and girls?

"Gamera vs. Gaos" is the third entry in the increasingly silly Gamera series, and after the creative flop of "Gamera vs. Barugon," it's back to basics. The obligatory child characters return in the form of Eiichi (Naoyuki Abe) and his pals, who seem to have nothing better to do than to help scientists fight giant monsters. And the plot is mostly a rehash of the first film, with the important difference that Gamera is now on the side of the heroic scientists. Replacing Gamera in the big-monster-awakened-by-natural-disaster role is Gaos, a giant bat who is unleashed by a volcanic explosion.

As expected, the monster battles take center stage here, with only enough scenes with the human actors to keep a basic plot humming along. The effects work is actually worse than in the previous movies, and the action -- written by Nisan Takahashi and directed by Noriaka Yuasa -- takes a turn for the strange, culminating atop a giant rotating, blood-spewing fountain.

If you're a fan of the kitschy or bizarre, or even just flat-out, uncomplicated kaiju fun, "Gamera vs. Gaos" is a step in the right direction over the previous two films. But it's just a taste of what's to come for the series.

Best Line:
"Don't forget to come visit us, Gamera! Don't forget!"

Side Note:
The original Japanese title is "Daikaijû kûchûsen: Gamera tai Gyaosu," which translates literally to the wonderful "Giant Monster Mid-Air Battle: Gamera vs. Gaos."

Companion Viewing:
The other Gamera films.

Links:
IMDb.
Badmovies.org.
1,000 Misspent Hours.

Take a Look:
The German-language trailer:


Marvel at these special effects!

Gamera vs. Barugon (a.k.a., War of the Monsters) (1966).

The Scoop:
The flying turtle madness continues!

Let's move on to the second installment in the Gamera franchise, "Gamera vs. Barugon." This time around not only is the action in color, but Gamera also makes the leap from nuclear-spawned menace to friendly protector of the Earth, just like Godzilla did in his series a decade earlier.

The bad guy role is filled by Barugon, a four-legged dinosaur/lizard/dog type thing who shoots a hilariously non-menacing rainbow ray from his back, and who can also freeze things with his tongue. Quite the odd combination, but trust me, this is one of least strange things we'll see in this series.

Some treasure hunters set the plot in motion when they bring a giant opal back to civilization, only to discover that the opal is actually an egg. Pretty soon, out pops Barugon, who proceeds to stomp the crap out of the parts of Tokyo that hadn't previously been stomped in the other kaiju movies. Finally, Gamera shows up to put the critter in his place.

On the human side we get the usual roles we're used to seeing in these movies -- committed scientist, bland girlfriend, rigid military brass, etc. They're played ably enough by the likes of Kojiro Hondo, Kyoko Emani, Yuzo Hayakawa and Takuya Fujioka, but there's really not much for them to do. Even Gamera doesn't get much to do other than show up at the end to lay the smack down.

This is pretty much the Barugon show from start to finish, resulting in what is easily the most boring of the Gamera series.

Best Line:
"That monster destroys everything with his tongue!"

Side Note:
The original Japanese title is "Daikaiju Keto: Gamera tai Barugon" (literally translated, "Giant Monster Duel: Gamera Against Barugon"). When American International Pictures bought the film for U.S. distribution in the late 1960s, they cut 14 minutes of footage and retitled it "War of the Monsters." In the 1980s, Sandy Frank secured the video distribution rights. He restored the missing footage, redubbed the dialogue and retitled the whole thing "Gamera vs. Barugon." So which version should you see? Frankly, it doesn't really matter since the missing footage is so yawn-inducing, it doesn't actually detract from the movie. But it sure makes it go by quicker.

Companion Viewing:
Any other Gamera or Godzilla film you can get your hands on.

Links:
IMDb.
1,000 Misspent Hours.
The Shrine of Gamera.

Take a Look:
Not too many clips or info online on this one (it's got a much lower profile than the other 1960s Gamera movies, mostly due to its quality), so here's the first part of the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment. Click through for more: