The Scoop: This is Toho's follow-up to the success of "Godzilla, King of the Monsters" (1954) and "Godzilla Raids Again" (1955), and if you can get past the endless stock footage of nuclear testing at the beginning, you're home free.
Well, almost. From there, you have to contend with the lead character's ridiculous, film noir-esque voice-over narration and a much delayed appearance of the monster (a giant winged thing that stomps on stuff, pretty much just like in every other Toho monster movie). Even by the cheesy low standards of vintage kaiju flicks, this one is pretty tepid. But on the plus side, among the American voice over cast is George ("Mr. Sulu") Takei in his first professional acting job.
Best Line: "If this thing you call Rodan is extinct, why is it still alive?"
Side Note: This was Toho's first full-color monster movie.
One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #K04 and #304, "Gamera vs. Barugon." (Originally published March 9, 2009):
The Scoop: The flying turtle madness continues!
Let's move on to the second installment in the Gamera franchise, "Gamera vs. Barugon." This time around not only is the action in color, but Gamera also makes the leap from nuclear-spawned menace to friendly protector of the Earth, just like Godzilla did in his series a decade earlier.
The bad guy role is filled by Barugon, a four-legged dinosaur/lizard/dog type thing who shoots a hilariously non-menacing rainbow ray from his back, and who can also freeze things with his tongue. Quite the odd combination, but trust me, this is one of least strange things we'll see in this series.
Some treasure hunters set the plot in motion when they bring a giant opal back to civilization, only to discover that the opal is actually an egg. Pretty soon, out pops Barugon, who proceeds to stomp the crap out of the parts of Tokyo that hadn't previously been stomped in the other kaiju movies. Finally, Gamera shows up to put the critter in his place.
On the human side we get the usual roles we're used to seeing in these movies -- committed scientist, bland girlfriend, rigid military brass, etc. They're played ably enough by the likes of Kojiro Hondo, Kyoko Emani, Yuzo Hayakawa and Takuya Fujioka, but there's really not much for them to do. Even Gamera doesn't get much to do other than show up at the end to lay the smack down.
This is pretty much the Barugon show from start to finish, resulting in what is easily the most boring of the Gamera series.
Best Line: "That monster destroys everything with his tongue!"
Side Note: The original Japanese title is "Daikaiju Keto: Gamera tai Barugon" (literally translated, "Giant Monster Duel: Gamera Against Barugon"). When American International Pictures bought the film for U.S. distribution in the late 1960s, they cut 14 minutes of footage and retitled it "War of the Monsters." In the 1980s, Sandy Frank secured the video distribution rights. He restored the missing footage, redubbed the dialogue and retitled the whole thing "Gamera vs. Barugon." So which version should you see? Frankly, it doesn't really matter since the missing footage is so yawn-inducing, it doesn't actually detract from the movie. But it sure makes it go by quicker.
Companion Viewing: Any other Gamera or Godzilla film you can get your hands on.
One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #803, "The Mole People." (Originally published Feb. 6, 2009):
The Scoop: How dreary can the subterranean world be? Very.
This lovely little film starts off with a professor giving the audience a strange, rambling lecture on the history of various crackpot theories about ancient civilizations underground. When the story finally gets started, we find an archeological team headed by smug know-it-all John Agar that discovers an underground colony of albino Sumerians and their mole-like slaves. Agar's sidekicks include Hugh Beaumont (TV's Ward Cleaver) and the evil underground high priest is Alan Napier (best known as Alfred the Butler from the "Batman" TV series).
When the heroes' chief weapon in a flashlight, you know you're in trouble.
Luckily, this foolishness doesn't last long before the mole slaves revolt, the albino society crumbles and Agar and Beaumont escape in just the nick of time, along with their Sumerian love interest, played by the luscious Cynthia Patrick.
"The Mole People" isn't as bad as some critics make it out to be, but that's not saying it's a good film, either. Director Virgil Vogel put together a solid, if unremarkable, genre piece that only suffers because some of the absurdities in László Görög's script. If you can get past the questionable science and the fact that the mole people look like beatniks dressed for trick-or-treating, it's not a bad little film.
Best Line: "Do you think anybody's ever tried to smoke dried mushrooms?"
Side Note: The professor from the beginning is Dr. Frank Baxter, who in the mid='50s left his job teaching English at the University of Southern California to lend his authoritative aura to introducing various educational TV shows. In addition to his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, he was also the recipient of the first ever Golden Gavel from Toastmasters International.
One of the many fun things about the late, great "Mystery Science Theater 3000" was their annual all-day Turkey Day Marathons for Thanksgiving. Hour after hour after hour of bad movies -- what's not to love? So this year we're doing a Desuko Turkey Day Marathon of our own -- five days of Desuko reviews of movies that have been featured on MST3K. Here's experiment #621, "The Beast of Yucca Flats." (Originally published April 8, 2008):
The Scoop: Forget about all the hype about "Plan 9 From Outer Space" being the worst movie of all time. There are plenty of other contenders for that title that are far more deserving, and "The Beast of Yucca Flats" is one of them.
Not only is this writer/director (and bottom-of-the-barrel-scraper) Coleman Francis' first film (produced by good pal and eternal lead actor Anthony Cardoza), but it also stars the inimitable Tor Johnson. A respected nuclear scientist (played by Johnson, which immediately shoots down any credibility the film might have) wanders too close to an A-bomb test and is turned feral. It's then up to the local sheriff and a pal to hunt him down.
Or something.
Believe me, after five minutes, you won't even bother to keep track of the plot anymore. That's because what plot there is simply involves the actors wandering aimlessly about the desert landscape to no good purpose. And because all the audio got accidentally erased during postproduction, all the dialogue is summarized in nonsensical voice-over narration.
There was nowhere for Francis' career to go from here but up. So his two follow-up movies -- "The Skydivers" from 1963 and 1966's "Night Train to Mundo Fine" (better known as "Red Zone Cuba") -- are still incompetent in their own right, but at least are a marked improvement over this one. Simply having meaningful action and onscreen dialogue will do that.
Best Line: "Flag on the moon. How did it get there?"
Side Note: Between directing projects, Francis tried to make his living as a bit actor, playing blink-and-you'll-miss-them parts in a number of films, including "This Island Earth" (1954) and "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (1970).
The Scoop: Flora, a “class two asteroid” suddenly takes a left turn starts hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. The only man qualified to stop this menace and save the world is studly rocket jock Jack Rankin (Robert Horton), who must team up with arch-nemesis Capt. Elliott (Richard Jaeckel) to destroy the killer rock. They’re successful, but they find out on the way home that they’ve mistakenly picked up an alien slime that spawns silly tentacle creatures with a taste for human flesh. Meanwhile, in between rousing bouts of square-jawed heroism, Rankin and Elliott fight over sexy doctor Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi).
So basically, this starts out as “Armageddon” and then turns into “Alien.”
This Japanese production is filled with the cheap effects and clunky performances you’d expect from your favorite Godzilla movie, but with a cast of American and Italian actors. It’s completely laugh-worthy, of course, but the best thing about it is the swinging title by Richard Delvy, quite possibly the best theme song of any movie ever.
Best Bit: Besides the theme song? It's the groovy welcome back party. It's too swingin' for Earth, so they had to hold it on a space station.
Side Note: All the extras are American military personnel who were based in Japan at the time.
Companion Viewing: "The Wild, Wild Planet" (1965).
The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published March 31, 2009]
The Scoop: When Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' "Watchmen" was released in 1985, it became a landmark in the emerging genre of graphic novels and has cast a long shadow. Not only did it enlarge the storytelling possibilities in the comics field, but its effects have also been felt in the larger popular culture, particularly the way films and television shows have handled superhero themes. It was also very much a product of its times, delving deep into the Cold War anxieties of the mid-1980s.
All of which make any sort of film version of "Watchmen" especially problematic. As written by David Hayter ("X-Men") and newcomer Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), the film is full of thunder and excitement, but runs up against a few walls.
The story takes place in a darker, alternate version of 1985 America in which costumed adventurers and vigilantes are common place and, after their halcyon days in the 1940s, have become increasingly distrusted by the public for enforcing the oppresive policies of the U.S. government, led by Richard Nixon in his fifth term as president. Against the backdrop of escalating nuclear tensions between the U.S. and Soviet Union, the hero-turned-military-mercenary The Comedian is murdered. As the sociopathic vigilante Rohrshach tries to solve the crime, he and his former compatriots (including Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias) uncover corruption and a global power grab.
The novel's genius lies in its multi-layered storytelling, which is rich in symbolism, literary allusions and a wonderfully fleshed-out cast of supporting characters. The history of this alternate world is also richly detailed, providing a running commentary on the main story and rewarding careful attention. All these elements combine to debunk the idealized superhero mythos, turning a cynical eye to the corruption possible when so much power is concentrated in the hands of flawed human beings. It is a world that is less about Superman and more about Travis Bickle.
Accordingly, a faithful film adaptation is a pretty tall order. The Cold War paranoia has lost much of its edge in the nearly quarter century since its release, as had the shock of the novel's innovations. The filmmakers do their best to honor the source material, but come up with a mixed bag.
For the sake of brevity and to not alienate those who haven't read the novel, the filmmakers sweep aside much of the complex backstory for the film. While this serves to keep the focus on the current generation of heroes, it also diminishes the psychological realism of the piece. Consequently, a lot of the characters' actions exist in a vaccuum, and much of Moore's original message is lost. Almost all of the cast of minor characters is lost, too, making the proceedings seem so much thinner and one-dimensional.
And then there's the violence. While the novel and the film are each especially violent, they wind up being two different creatures. Snyder and his writers toned down many of the more brutal passages of the book in favor of Snyder's patented garish fight choreography. Limbs shatter and blood gushes in gruesome slow motion. It's hypnotic and balletic, but ultimately just eye candy. The amoral brutality that Moore used to illuminate his hard-edged characters is replaced by empty and gratuitous exercises in CGI wizardry.
But it's not all bad. The novel's greatest weakness -- its convoluted, inorganic ending -- is given a minor revamp here to better effect. It's still not wholly satisfying, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. There is also terrific cinematography by Larry Fong (a veteran of "300" and "Lost") that vividly brings to life some of the best parts of Gibbons' original artwork.
The acting, too, is solid. With the exception of a wooden turn by Malin Ackerman as the second Silk Spectre, this is a talented ensemble. Billy Crudup (as Dr. Manhattan) and Jackie Earle Haley (as Rohrshach) are particularly great.
In total, "Watchmen" is not completely successful, but it's not a failure, either. Just be sure to read the book first, to fully appreciate the story's rich possibilities.
Best Line: "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."
Side Note: Having been in development for decades, "Watchmen" has had numerous actors, writers and directors attached to the project at various times. Among the directors considered were Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greenglass and Michael Bay. Among the candidates to play Rohrshach were Robin Williams, Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig and Doug Hutchinson.
Companion Viewing: "V For Vendetta" (2005) and "The Incredibles" (2004).
The Scoop: Sixteen years after the fact, the team behind the landmark "King Kong" -- producer Merian C. Cooper, director Ernest B. Schoedsack, special effects guru Willis O'Brien and actor Robert Armstrong -- return to their old stomping grounds to give the story a fresh, more kid-friendly twist with "Mighty Joe Young."
Blowhard producer Max O'Hara (Armstrong, essentially reprising his "King Kong" role) travels to Africa looking for wild animals to include in his latest vaudeville production. (Never mind the fact that vaudeville was all but dead by the late 1940s. Don't question Hollywood storytelling!) He and his guide Gregg (Ben Johnson) luck out by finding a 12-foot gorilla who was raised by a young woman named Jill (Terry Moore). Jill and her ape, now dubbed Mr. Joseph Young, are persuaded to travel back to America and go into show business. The show is a success for a while, until unruly audience members taunt Joe and push him too far. He goes on a rampage, then goes on the lam as Jill, Gregg and O'Hara try to keep him one step ahead of the cops and get him back to Africa.
Besides the same basic plot, "Mighty Joe Young" also shares the same thematic concerns as "King Kong" -- namely, the exploitation of Third World cultures and the tragedy of humankind's encroachment on nature. But the script by Ruth Rose gives these themes a lighter, more fun twist, complete with the happy ending that Kong deserved but never got. The biggest drawback is a final act that drags on a bit too long.
But the real treat here is the charming stop motion animation that brings Joe to life. While the character was designed by O'Brien, who got top billing, the majority of the actual animation work was done by his apprentice, the legendary Ray Harryhausen, who got his big break here. While the style isn't as smooth and expressive as most of Harryhausen's later work, it is still terrific, bringing a tender and almost humanistic side to Joe. And because Joe is smaller in stature in Kong, that means a lot more interaction with the human characters, which is pulled off skillfully thanks to the special effects team.
The end result is a wonderful companion piece to "King Kong" that is engaging and enjoyable. Forget the 1998 remake and stick with this one.
Best Bit: The first nightclub sequence, which is highlighted by a bravura tracking shot through a set that is quite literally larger than life. The set was too big to be built as it was envisioned, so the tracking shot is actually an optical composite of several smaller sets.
Side Note: Terry Moore had a long and varied career after this film. She was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar in 1953 for "Come Back, Little Sheba," then made the jump to television with guest roles in everything from "Rawhide" and "My Three Sons" to "Knight Rider" and "Murder, She Wrote." She even played a villain in the original "Batman" series, and was one of the executive producers of "America's Funniest Home Videos." In the 1970s claimed that she had had a long--term secret marriage to reclusive billionaire Howard Hughes.
Companion Viewing: "King Kong" (1933) and "Son of Kong" (1933).
The Scoop: Elements of "2001: A Space Odyssey," "Apollo 13," "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "Contact" collide in Brian De Palma's uneven space adventure about the first manned expeditions to Mars.
A scientific expedition, led by Don Cheadle, meets disaster on the Red Planet's surface, prompting international space station commander Tim Robbins to put together a rescue party (which includes Gary Sinise, Jerry O'Donnell and Connie Nielsen). The rescuers' rough, year-long journey to the surface takes up the bulk of the film's plot and nearly grinds it to a halt with its tedium. (Even De Palma's trademark suspense sequences are subpar here.)
After they finally make a hair-raising landing, the movie finally gets in gear for its intriguing final act, when the rescuers find the sole survivor (Cheadle) ranting madly about extraterrestrial intelligence. The action from this point is really the only reason to watch "Mission to Mars," even if you have to trudge through a clumsily expository introduction and the endless rescue journey to get to it.
What emerges is an exploration of the mythology surrounding the Cydonia Face (which has prompted true believers to adopt the movie as vindication of their conspiracy theories) and an explanation of life on Earth that eschews the obtuse spiritual speculations of those earlier films.
The screenplay-by-committee, full of predictable action and the occasional plothole, is the weakest link here. The actors are all strong, especially Cheadle, but unremarkable. And De Palma seems to be mailing it in, although he does rise to the occasion in a couple of key scenes. On the plus side are some good CGI effects and Ennio Morricone's incredible score. The sum total isn't exactly a winner, but it is enough to make "Mission to Mars" an interesting failure.
Best Line: "You're just not man enough to wear jewelry."
Side Note: The film is rife with scientific errors, not the least of which is the fact that all the planets are rotating in the wrong direction in the giant solar system model.
Companion Viewing: "2001: A Space Odyssey" (1968), "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" (1977) and "Contact" (1997).
The Scoop: Dreamworks scores again with this fun, energetic throwback to 1950s-era creature features.
After a Susan Murphy (voiced by Reese Witherspoon) is hit by a meteor on her wedding day, she grows to 50 feet tall. She is captured and sent to a secret government facilty where she meets a misfit group of monsters straight out of your favorite B-movies -- Dr. Cockroach, a half man/half cockroach mad scientist (Hugh Laurie); The Missing Link, a prehistoric amphibious creature (Will Arnett); B.O.B., a gelatinous blob (Seth Rogen); and a giant insect named Insectosaurus. They are quickly called upon to fight an invasion by the crackpot alien Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson).
Also in the cast are Paul Rudd, Keifer Sutherland, Stephen Colbert and Amy Poehler.
The plot is simple and fast-moving, and directors Conrad Vernon and Rob Letterman (plus a small army of co-screenwriters) keep the gags coming at a breakneck pace. While this is enough to entertain the kids, the adults will enjoy spoofs and allusions to films from "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "The Blob" to "Vertigo" and "Dr. Strangelove." It is also refreshing to see a lead female character who is not a girlfriend or a princess, but a real woman who gets to be heroic in her own right.
The animation is excellent, except for Susan's absurdly large eyes and a few gratuitous shots designed for the 3-D audience (the first, a clever nod to the 3-D "House of Wax"). A few of the jokes fall flat, but they are more than outweighed by the ones that work. Throw in a couple of well choreographed battle scenes (particularly the one the rages across the streets of San Francisco and onto the Golden Gate Bridge) and you've got yourself a winner.
Best Line: "I am brave. I'm a brave president!"
Side Note: Keep your ears peeled for the Wilhem scream during the fight with the Gallaxhar clones.
The Scoop: When Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' "Watchmen" was released in 1985, it became a landmark in the emerging genre of graphic novels and has cast a long shadow. Not only did it enlarge the storytelling possibilities in the comics field, but its effects have also been felt in the larger popular culture, particularly the way films and television shows have handled superhero themes. It was also very much a product of its times, delving deep into the Cold War anxieties of the mid-1980s.
All of which make any sort of film version of "Watchmen" especially problematic. As written by David Hayter ("X-Men") and newcomer Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), the film is full of thunder and excitement, but runs up against a few walls.
The story takes place in a darker, alternate version of 1985 America in which costumed adventurers and vigilantes are common place and, after their halcyon days in the 1940s, have become increasingly distrusted by the public for enforcing the oppresive policies of the U.S. government, led by Richard Nixon in his fifth term as president. Against the backdrop of escalating nuclear tensions between the U.S. and Soviet Union, the hero-turned-military-mercenary The Comedian is murdered. As the sociopathic vigilante Rohrshach tries to solve the crime, he and his former compatriots (including Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias) uncover corruption and a global power grab.
The novel's genius lies in its multi-layered storytelling, which is rich in symbolism, literary allusions and a wonderfully fleshed-out cast of supporting characters. The history of this alternate world is also richly detailed, providing a running commentary on the main story and rewarding careful attention. All these elements combine to debunk the idealized superhero mythos, turning a cynical eye to the corruption possible when so much power is concentrated in the hands of flawed human beings. It is a world that is less about Superman and more about Travis Bickle.
Accordingly, a faithful film adaptation is a pretty tall order. The Cold War paranoia has lost much of its edge in the nearly quarter century since its release, as had the shock of the novel's innovations. The filmmakers do their best to honor the source material, but come up with a mixed bag.
For the sake of brevity and to not alienate those who haven't read the novel, the filmmakers sweep aside much of the complex backstory for the film. While this serves to keep the focus on the current generation of heroes, it also diminishes the psychological realism of the piece. Consequently, a lot of the characters' actions exist in a vaccuum, and much of Moore's original message is lost. Almost all of the cast of minor characters is lost, too, making the proceedings seem so much thinner and one-dimensional.
And then there's the violence. While the novel and the film are each especially violent, they wind up being two different creatures. Snyder and his writers toned down many of the more brutal passages of the book in favor of Snyder's patented garish fight choreography. Limbs shatter and blood gushes in gruesome slow motion. It's hypnotic and balletic, but ultimately just eye candy. The amoral brutality that Moore used to illuminate his hard-edged characters is replaced by empty and gratuitous exercises in CGI wizardry.
But it's not all bad. The novel's greatest weakness -- its convoluted, inorganic ending -- is given a minor revamp here to better effect. It's still not wholly satisfying, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. There is also terrific cinematography by Larry Fong (a veteran of "300" and "Lost") that vividly brings to life some of the best parts of Gibbons' original artwork.
The acting, too, is solid. With the exception of a wooden turn by Malin Ackerman as the second Silk Spectre, this is a talented ensemble. Billy Crudup (as Dr. Manhattan) and Jackie Earle Haley (as Rohrshach) are particularly great.
In total, "Watchmen" is not completely successful, but it's not a failure, either. Just be sure to read the book first, to fully appreciate the story's rich possibilities.
Best Line: "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."
Side Note: Having been in development for decades, "Watchmen" has had numerous actors, writers and directors attached to the project at various times. Among the directors considered were Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greenglass and Michael Bay. Among the candidates to play Rohrshach were Robin Williams, Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig and Doug Hutchinson.
Companion Viewing: "V For Vendetta" (2005) and "The Incredibles" (2004).
The Scoop: At last, the final first-wave Gamera movie!
Environmental concerns get a little spotlight here when an alien race flying a shark-shaped spaceship comes to Earth to conquer our oceans. The catch is that the aliens want us to clean up all our pollution first so that their new home is nice and pristine. There's lots of silliness with the obligatory child characters trying to outsmart the aliens, then Gamera finally shows up to lay the smack down. Zigra, the alien leader, transforms himself into a giant land shark to battle our turtle hero. Good triumphs over evil in the end, as always, presumably freeing up humankind to keep polluting all it wants.
Whatever. At this point, the seventh in the series, everyone seems to have stopped caring. This is strictly bottom of the barrel Gamera, which is really saying something.
From here, Gamera went dormant, only to be resurrected in 1980 for "Gamera Super Monster," which was assembled seemingly almost entirely from clips of the previous films. The series was brought back in a more formal way in 1995 with "Gamera: The Guardian of the Universe." Much like its first incarnation, this revival was simply following the path of the Godzilla revival of the '90s. There were two sequels before it petered out again.
So, there you have Gamera in a (very long) nutshell. Now let's get back to some non-flying turtle movies, shall we?
Best Line: "This will be the greatest earthquake ever!"
Side Note: This is the film that finally bankrupted Daiei Studios, which is the only reason the original film series stopped.
Companion Viewing: "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster" (1971).
The Scoop: We're in the home stretch now, nearly done with the first series of Gamera films. This one -- variously called "Gamera vs. Jiger," "Gamera vs. Monster X" or "War of the Monsters" -- was among the hardest to find for a number of years, until the advent of bargain bin DVDs.
In preparing for the 1970 World's Fair in Tokyo, someone disturbs an ancient statue, releasing Jiger/Monster X upon the world. Things get stomped up a bit, then Gamera flies in to save the day. It's all pretty standard kaiju stuff for the period... Until the monster injects its larvae into Gamera, which prompts the kids to take a ship, "Fantastic Voyage" style, inside Gamera to fish them out. That little bit of weirdness is refreshing after seeing the Gamera formula run into the ground over the past few films.
And guess what? No stock footage! (Amazing, I know.) However, on the negative side, the rubber suits look especially ludicrous this time around. So, you can't win them all.
Best Bit: Gamera's fallen and can't get up. D'oh!
Side Note: If there are any auteurs behind the Gamera series, they are writer Nisan Takahashi (who scripted all seven of the original films, along with the 1980 rehash) and director Noriaki Yuasa (who directed seven of those eight films, plus served as special effects director for "Gamera vs. Barugon").
Companion Viewing: Sick of flying turtle movies yet?
The Scoop: This fifth film in the original Gamera cycle takes a strange turn (and for a Gamera movie, that's really saying something), becoming a goofy, psychedelic kids movie.
Two children, who seem inordinately preoccupied with high toll of traffic accidents, discover an abandoned spaceship, so they decide to fly it back to its home planet. There, on the far side of the sun, they meet an alien civilization that consists entirely of two brain-eating women in tight costumes who want to conquer the Earth. Gamera comes along and saves the day by fighting Guiron, the alien girls' pet razor-headed monster. An outer space version of Gaos even puts in an appearance to make it a true kaiju monster mash.
The poor quality of the dubbing in these movies reaches new lows here -- especially ridiculous is the halting delivery by the scientist in the opening scene, which even puts William Shatner to shame. But it's all great, colorful fun that, oddly enough, is actually helped by the raging technical incompetence of the American version. Probably the best of the Gamera films.
Best Line: "They might be much more civilized up there than we are here on Earth, with no wars or traffic accidents."
Side Note: Tom, the American kid, is played by Christopher Murphy, who grew up to play supporting roles in "Valley Girl" (1983) and "The Abyss" (1989).
Companion Viewing: "Godzilla vs. Megalon" (1973) and the other Gamera films.
Take a Look: Gamera dishes out a giant turtle sized beatdown. (Note the fine form on the high bar, setting a fight choreography trend that was years ahead of Gymkata.):
Sure, Space-Gaos talks a good game, but just look how easily he's taken out by Guiron:
You know how all your favorite sitcoms invariably have a clip show, consisting of a framing device followed by scenes from earlier episodes? Well, this is the equivalent of that for the Gamera series. You'd think the fourth episode would be too soon to go the nostalgic filler route, but you'd be wrong.
The film starts with a great opening sequence, probably the best in the series. Some aliens -- in a ship that looks like it was made of ping pong balls -- approach Earth as their leader makes a pompous speech about destroying humanity and taking over the planet. Then, without warning, Gamera pops up on their viewscreen and basically says, "It's on, bitches!" and proceeds to tear their ship apart while the aliens pee their pants in terror.
After this fun, the credits roll and we're whisked away to a Boy Scout jamboree where a scientist is also testing a new kind of submarine. It's the same kitschy silliness you'd except from a kaiju movie, but done better than most. Two of the more precocious Boy Scouts are allowed to take the sub out for a spin, where they encounter Gamera in his undersea hideout.
Meanwhile, a second crew of aliens arrives to avenge their fallen comrades, and then the tedium begins. The aliens decide to learn all by can about Gamera by running a seemingly endless reel of his battles from the first three films.
When we finally get back to our main story, the aliens (who dress like French existentialists) kidnap the sub-driving Boy Scouts and try to battle Gamera with a mind control device. For the scene where the aliens make Gamera destroy Tokyo, director Noriaki Yuasa opted not to shoot new footage, but rather to use the rather incongruous black and white footage from the first movie.
Finally, when Gamera and the kids escape, the aliens merge into a single monster, a giant squid named Viras, only to be beaten down my Gamera.
Despite a couple of slow stretches, the main story action holds up pretty good in comparison the other Gamera films. Unfortunately, this is undermined by the over-reliance on old clips.
Best Bit: Did I mention I liked the opening sequence?
Side Note: Kojiro Hondo, who plays the scout master, has had a long and distinguished career in Japanese film and television. In addition to all his other credits, he has appeared in two other Gamera movies -- "Gamera vs. Barugon" (1966) and "Gamera: Guardian of the Universe" (1995).
Companion Viewing: Normally I'd recommend the other Gamera films, but I don't have to since they're already included here.
"Gamera vs. Gaos" is the third entry in the increasingly silly Gamera series, and after the creative flop of "Gamera vs. Barugon," it's back to basics. The obligatory child characters return in the form of Eiichi (Naoyuki Abe) and his pals, who seem to have nothing better to do than to help scientists fight giant monsters. And the plot is mostly a rehash of the first film, with the important difference that Gamera is now on the side of the heroic scientists. Replacing Gamera in the big-monster-awakened-by-natural-disaster role is Gaos, a giant bat who is unleashed by a volcanic explosion.
As expected, the monster battles take center stage here, with only enough scenes with the human actors to keep a basic plot humming along. The effects work is actually worse than in the previous movies, and the action -- written by Nisan Takahashi and directed by Noriaka Yuasa -- takes a turn for the strange, culminating atop a giant rotating, blood-spewing fountain.
If you're a fan of the kitschy or bizarre, or even just flat-out, uncomplicated kaiju fun, "Gamera vs. Gaos" is a step in the right direction over the previous two films. But it's just a taste of what's to come for the series.
Best Line: "Don't forget to come visit us, Gamera! Don't forget!"
Side Note: The original Japanese title is "Daikaijû kûchûsen: Gamera tai Gyaosu," which translates literally to the wonderful "Giant Monster Mid-Air Battle: Gamera vs. Gaos."
Let's move on to the second installment in the Gamera franchise, "Gamera vs. Barugon." This time around not only is the action in color, but Gamera also makes the leap from nuclear-spawned menace to friendly protector of the Earth, just like Godzilla did in his series a decade earlier.
The bad guy role is filled by Barugon, a four-legged dinosaur/lizard/dog type thing who shoots a hilariously non-menacing rainbow ray from his back, and who can also freeze things with his tongue. Quite the odd combination, but trust me, this is one of least strange things we'll see in this series.
Some treasure hunters set the plot in motion when they bring a giant opal back to civilization, only to discover that the opal is actually an egg. Pretty soon, out pops Barugon, who proceeds to stomp the crap out of the parts of Tokyo that hadn't previously been stomped in the other kaiju movies. Finally, Gamera shows up to put the critter in his place.
On the human side we get the usual roles we're used to seeing in these movies -- committed scientist, bland girlfriend, rigid military brass, etc. They're played ably enough by the likes of Kojiro Hondo, Kyoko Emani, Yuzo Hayakawa and Takuya Fujioka, but there's really not much for them to do. Even Gamera doesn't get much to do other than show up at the end to lay the smack down.
This is pretty much the Barugon show from start to finish, resulting in what is easily the most boring of the Gamera series.
Best Line: "That monster destroys everything with his tongue!"
Side Note: The original Japanese title is "Daikaiju Keto: Gamera tai Barugon" (literally translated, "Giant Monster Duel: Gamera Against Barugon"). When American International Pictures bought the film for U.S. distribution in the late 1960s, they cut 14 minutes of footage and retitled it "War of the Monsters." In the 1980s, Sandy Frank secured the video distribution rights. He restored the missing footage, redubbed the dialogue and retitled the whole thing "Gamera vs. Barugon." So which version should you see? Frankly, it doesn't really matter since the missing footage is so yawn-inducing, it doesn't actually detract from the movie. But it sure makes it go by quicker.
Companion Viewing: Any other Gamera or Godzilla film you can get your hands on.
Take a Look: Not too many clips or info online on this one (it's got a much lower profile than the other 1960s Gamera movies, mostly due to its quality), so here's the first part of the "Mystery Science Theater 3000" treatment. Click through for more:
The Scoop: The folks at Japan's Daiei Studios wanted to compete with Toho in the kaiju arena by creating their own monster movie series to rival "Godzilla." So they came up with this -- a black and white film about a nuclear explosion that awakens an evil monster. (Kinda sounds familiar, doesn't it?)
Unfortunately, they miscalculated a bit -- turtles, even giant ones, just aren't that scary. So, even at his most fearsome, Gamera is no match for the original lizard king himself.
The plot is almost a complete rehash of "Godzilla" -- a nuclear explosion in the Arctic awakens Gamera, who has been sleeping under the ice for millenia. Of course he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed and goes on a worldwide rampage looking for energy. A group of scientists try everything they can to stop him, but to no avail. Instead (and this is the only original wrinkle in the formula), it is up to young boy with a special link to Gamera to put a stop to his rampage.
The results just don't hold a candle to the first "Godzilla" movie. Not only are the writing and directing weak in comparison, but the effects are laughable and Gamera comes off as more humorous than threatening. It is no wonder that as the series continued, he was quickly made into a good guy who, as the script of every film likes to remind us, "is the friend to all children."
The film's American distribution rights were bought by schlock-meister Sandy Frank, who dubbed it, recut it, shot some new footage and released it as "Gammera the Invincible." For years, that version was the only one available in the United States. If you have a choice, opt for the original if you can. That doesn't necessarily mean it's better, but at least you'll be seeing it as the director intended.
Best Bit: Old Man: "I guess that flying saucer I saw was really Gamera." Old Woman: "As the old saying goes, 'We see terrible things if we look too long.'"
Side Note: "Gamera" was the last of Japan's tidal wave of monster movies to filmed in black and white.
Companion Viewing: "Godzilla, King of the Monsters" (1955) and the rest of the "Gamera" series.
Well, okay, first off... the title's a little misleading. The giant spider doesn't actually take on the whole world, just a few rubes from a small town. And then, all it does is come out of its cave, sit on a house, then get electrocuted in what amounts to little more than a high school science class demonstration.
This is among the worst of the '50s big bug movies -- yet another Bert I. Gordon creation in which something grows too big for its own good. But there is something endearing about "Earth vs. the Spider," mostly in the dead earnestness of everyone involved with the film as they go about their silly business.
Gordon, who directed and gets story credit, made this sort of fare his bread and butter in the '50s. The script was provided by Laszlo Gorog and George Worthing Yates, and the cast is led by Ed Kemmer (as high school science teacher Art Kingman, our square-jawed hero), June Kenney and Gene Persson (and the bland teenage couple) and Gene Roth (as the obligatory crusty sheriff). The crappy rear projection visual effects are credited to Gordon and his wife Flora.
"Earth vs. the Spider" is a pretty definitive example of the genre, and certainly enjoyable when you approach it in the right frame of mind.
This was remade in 2001 as part of the Cinemax "Creature Features" series, which included modernizing "reimaginings" of several classic '50s B-movies. While it was competently executed (and even starred Dan Aykroyd and Theresa Russell), the story was completely changed and it just doesn't have the same spirit as the original.
Best Line: "Usually, if nature produces a freak, it dies immediately."
Side Note: If you look closely at the set decoration, you'll spot movie posters for two other Gordon masterpieces, "The Amazing Colossal Man" and "Attack of the Puppet People." Also on hand is the first issue of Forrest J. Ackerman's "Famous Monsters of Filmland," the magazine that became the sci-fi/horror bible of movie fans in the '50s and '60s.
Companion Viewing: "The Amazing Colossal Man" (1957) and "Bug Buster" (1996).
The Scoop: How dreary can the subterranean world be? Very.
This lovely little film starts off with a professor giving the audience a strange, rambling lecture on the history of various crackpot theories about ancient civilizations underground. When the story finally gets started, we find an archeological team headed by smug know-it-all John Agar that discovers an underground colony of albino Sumerians and their mole-like slaves. Agar's sidekicks include Hugh Beaumont (TV's Ward Cleaver) and the evil underground high priest is Alan Napier (best known as Alfred the Butler from the "Batman" TV series).
When the heroes' chief weapon in a flashlight, you know you're in trouble.
Luckily, this foolishness doesn't last long before the mole slaves revolt, the albino society crumbles and Agar and Beaumont escape in just the nick of time, along with their Sumerian love interest, played by the luscious Cynthia Patrick.
"The Mole People" isn't as bad as some critics make it out to be, but that's not saying it's a good film, either. Director Virgil Vogel put together a solid, if unremarkable, genre piece that only suffers because some of the absurdities in László Görög's script. If you can get past the questionable science and the fact that the mole people look like beatniks dressed for trick-or-treating, it's not a bad little film.
Best Line: "Do you think anybody's ever tried to smoke dried mushrooms?"
Side Note: The professor from the beginning is Dr. Frank Baxter, who in the mid='50s left his job teaching English at the University of Southern California to lend his authoritative aura to introducing various educational TV shows. In addition to his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, he was also the recipient of the first ever Golden Gavel from Toastmasters International.
The Scoop: This student film (and believe me, it shows) has gone on to become an underground classic. A group of stupid college students go into the woods and uncover a book of spells that brings about all sorts of supernatural trouble. Sound familiar?
Despite the extreme technical ineptitude, the story is excellent (borrowed liberally by Sam Raimi and put to better use for "The Evil Dead" and "The Evil Dead 2"), the special effects are good and some successful careers were launched here. Most notable among them is special effects supervisor Dennis Muren, who has gone on to win nine Oscars designing the effects for James Cameron's "Terminator 2" (1991) and George Lucas' "Star Wars" movies. Also, the assistant cameraman is future actor Ed Begley, Jr., and one of the stars is Frank Bonner, who later starred in "WKRP in Cincinnati."
Shot in 1967 by writer/director Jack Woods, this sat on the shelf for three years until it was purchased by producer Jack Harris, who reshot some scenes and released it.
There's some primo bad movie shenanigans going on with this one. Check it out.
Best Line: "Your book! You have to take it!"
Side Note: The sound effect for the transitions was lifted from "Earth vs. the Flying Saucers." Also, Forrest J. Ackerman turns up in a cameo as the voice on the tape recorder.
Companion Viewing: The "Evil Dead" trilogy and "The Blair Witch Project" (1999).
The Scoop:
