The Hidden Fortress (1958).

The Scoop:
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – a grizzled warrior must help a feisty princess escape from the clutches of an evil empire, with the help of a pair of bumbling accomplices who prove to be heroic in spite of themselves.

That’s the plot of Akira Kurosawa’s wonderful “The Hidden Fortress.” But throw in a naïve farm boy, an amoral smuggler and a Wookiee and you’ve got seed for Obi-Wan Kenobi’s rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star in “Star Wars.” George Lucas has famously cited “The Hidden Fortress” as the inspiration for his first “Star Wars” story, from which the rest of his complicated universe sprang.

Besides the spine of the plot, several other details were borrowed by Lucas, especially the early scenes introducing bickering peasant buddies Tahei and Matakishi, which resurfaced in R2-D2 and C-3PO’s adventures on Tatooine.

But while it’s fun to play “spot the inspiration,” it’s a mistake to judge “The Hidden Fortress” solely in the light of “Star Wars.” It’s another rousing samurai adventure from Kurosawa that more than stands on its own.

Toshiro Mifune is incredible as always as Makabe, the wise, battle weary general who must protect tomboyish teenage Princess Yuki (Misa Uehara) and her kingdom’s stash of gold, then smuggle them to safety in neighboring Hayawaka. Their native land of Azikuzi has been overrun by armies from Yamana, but once in Hayakawa, Yuki will be able to use the told to rebuild her army and take back her lands.

They find their ticket out with appearance of Tahei (Minoru Chiaki) and Matakishi (Kamatari Fujiwara), who just want to escape from the war and return to their homes in Hayakawa. Thanks to their unwitting assistance, the foursome is able to stay one step ahead of the pursuing Yamana soldiers, but not without plenty of hardship and comic relief on the way.

This isn’t Kurosawa’s best samurai epic, nor is it one of the first that springs to mind when thinking about his classics – but don’t consider that an insult. “The Hidden Fortress” easily stands alongside the likes of “The Seven Samurai,” “Yojimbo” or “Rashomon.” But if it doesn’t quite reach their heights, it’s still better than most other action/adventure fare from lesser directors. Kurosawa was one of the masters of cinema; we’d expect nothing less from him.

Best Bit:
The escape on horseback.

Side Note:
It wouldn't be a Kurosawa samurai classic without Mifune -- the two made 16 films together in a 17 year stretch from 1948 to 1965.

Companion Viewing:
"Star Wars – Episode IV: A New Hope" (1977) and "The Seven Samurai" (1954).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The Japanese trailer:


The big duel:

Scooby Doo: The Mystery Begins (2009).

The Scoop:
So why waste your time on this? What’s the point of bothering with a made-for-cable, third generation live action adaptation of a hack cartoon, which is squarely aimed at tweens? Really, why bother?

Well, it turns out that this disposable entertainment has a thing or two to recommend it.

A Cartoon Network original, “The Mystery Begins” is the third live action version of “Scooby Doo,” following two big budget big screen stinkers. It’s a prequel, telling the story of how the gang got together at Coolsville High School and solved their first mystery together.

Unadoptable shelter dog Scooby (voiced by Frank Welker) accidentally gets sprung from his cage and runs off in search of someone who’ll take him in. He wanders through a cemetery at night, where he sees two ghosts rising from their graves. In a panic, he runs right through the basement bedroom window of high school burnout Shaggy (Nick Palatas) who naturally takes a liking to him and tries to sneak him into school the next day in human clothes. This winds up causing a free-for-all in the school bus, which eventually lands Shaggy in detention with football team captain Fred (Robbie Amell), drama club diva Daphne (Kate Melton) and brainy geek Velma (Hayley Kiyoko). Of course, the ghosts pick that exact time to disrupt the school pep rally, and the chase is on.

The “mystery” is just as paper-thin as you’d expect, both from a “Scooby Doo” story and a tween movie. But it’s the small, fresh details that keep this from being a complete waste.

Most intriguing is the dynamic between the four kids which -- not only because it grows out of detention hall, but also because of the way it develops the relationships between members of four different high school social cliques – owes a big debt to “The Breakfast Club.” It’s actually hand led quite well for tween fluff, and the cast nails it with gusto. This is where the real story is, not in the formulaic ghost hunting shenanigans.

The interesting upshot of this is that it makes the title character almost entirely irrelevant in his own movie. Unfortunately, director Brian Levant and writers Daniel Altiere and Steven Altiere try to compensate for this by making Scooby completely obnoxious, thrusting him into all sorts of situations where he isn’t needed, and making him the vehicle of lots of sophomoric, unfunny humor. That’s all bad enough, but to top it all off, the CGI work on Scooby is atrocious.

There are also some obligatory details, like the origins of the Mystery Machine (which is pretty much what you’d expect) and Scooby Snacks (which is actually a nice little twist. And Shaggy’s status as a flat-out stoner is hinted at even more strongly than before (but because this is still ostensibly children’s entertainment, he still can’t be shown for what he really is).

However, some entertaining new wrinkles are added. Like the fact that Shaggy is a few years older than the others and, thanks to being held back in school so much, is basically an adult still attending high school. Or the casting of Velma as an Asian.

However the biggest departure from the “Scooby” mythos is that the ghosts are actual undead spirits, and not mere mechanical tricks. But don’t feel too disoriented – the villain behind those vengeful spirits is straight out of the Hanna-Barbera playbook and even gets to deliver the signature “meddling kids” line after his capture. Because there are some classics you just don’t want to mess with.

Best Bit:
The gang's ridiculously over-the-top undercover disguises -- Daphne as a goth, Fred in hip hop gear (think Brian Austin Green), Velma as a hot chick, and Shaggy and Scooby as trash cans.

Side Note:
Welker is a veteran cartoon voice actor who has been working steadily since the 1960s. His roles include most of the Decepticons in the original "Transformers" series and numerous roles in "Tiny Toon Adventures" and "Animaniacs" -- not to mention playing Fred in the original "Scooby Doo" series.

Companion Viewing:
The original Hanna Barbera cartoons from the early 1970s.

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Hayley Kiyoko's video blog, made during production:

The Green Slime (1968).

The Scoop:
Flora, a “class two asteroid” suddenly takes a left turn starts hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. The only man qualified to stop this menace and save the world is studly rocket jock Jack Rankin (Robert Horton), who must team up with arch-nemesis Capt. Elliott (Richard Jaeckel) to destroy the killer rock. They’re successful, but they find out on the way home that they’ve mistakenly picked up an alien slime that spawns silly tentacle creatures with a taste for human flesh. Meanwhile, in between rousing bouts of square-jawed heroism, Rankin and Elliott fight over sexy doctor Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi).

So basically, this starts out as “Armageddon” and then turns into “Alien.”

This Japanese production is filled with the cheap effects and clunky performances you’d expect from your favorite Godzilla movie, but with a cast of American and Italian actors. It’s completely laugh-worthy, of course, but the best thing about it is the swinging title by Richard Delvy, quite possibly the best theme song of any movie ever.

Best Bit:
Besides the theme song? It's the groovy welcome back party. It's too swingin' for Earth, so they had to hold it on a space station.

Side Note:
All the extras are American military personnel who were based in Japan at the time.

Companion Viewing:
"The Wild, Wild Planet" (1965).

Links:
IMDb.
BadMovies.org.
Monster Island News.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


The theme song!

Night of the Lepus (1972).

The Scoop:
Starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, Rory Calhoun and some of the deadliest rabbits outside of Monty Python, “Night of the Lepus” is one of the pioneering films in the ‘70s wave of eco-horror films and, needless to say, probably the silliest.

When Arizona rancher Cole Hillman’s (Calhoun) land is overrun with rabbits, he gets his university president pal Elgin Clark (Kelley) to call in heroic wildlife researchers Roy and Gerry Bennett (Whitman and Leigh) to find a nonpoisonous, environmentally friendly way to control the population. Unfortunately, the couple’s daughter Amanda (Melanie Fullerton) switches around some of the rabbits her parents are experimenting on, resulting in a plague of giant man-eating bunnies terrorizing the desert Southwest.

Director William F. Claxton and writers Don Holliday and Gene R. Kearney (working from what must be an absurd novel by Russell Braddon) throw in just about every genre cliché available, and while there is the occasional good moment, it’s just not enough. The fairly talented cast just sleepwalks through every scene and the script lets a lot of important pieces of plot happen offscreen. And no matter how much the breathless introduction tries to convince us how threatening rabbits can be, it’s all undercut by the ridiculous premise and bad slow motion effects.

“Night of the Lepus” is definitely a must-watch, but for all the wrong reasons.

Best Bit:
The bunny attack inside the miner’s shack.

Side Note:
The studio was afraid that if the audience knew the movie was about killer rabbits, they wouldn't watch it. So the novel's title ("The Year of the Angry Rabbit") was changed and no rabbits appeared on the original theater posters.

Companion Viewing:
"Kingdom of the Spiders" (1977).

Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
BadMovies.org.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Some random clips:

Charade (1963).

The Scoop:
Two of Hollywood's classic romantic leads, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, team up for this great suspense thriller, their only cinematic pairing.

Hepburn is Regina Lampert, a widow who discovers that her dead husband had a secret past and a big stash of hidden loot. Pretty soon, all his old cohorts are chasing her through Paris and it's up to Grant to save her -- if she can trust him. Where's the money hidden? Who will the killer strike next? The viewer is kept guessing right up to the end and Hepburn and Grant keep the romantic sparks flying. The supporting cast is filled with familiar faces, including James Coburn, George Kennedy and Walter Matthau.

Produced and directed by Stanley Donen, best known for his musicals, "Charade" is smart, witty and stylish. The script by Peter Stone is great, as is the music by Henry Mancini. Top notch all the way. This is one of the best films Hitchcock never made.

Best Bit:
Just pick any bit of banter between Hepburn and Grant. It's all great.

Side Note:
At the British Academy Awards, this performance earned Grant a nomination for Best Foreign Actor -- even though he was born and raised in London.

Companion Viewing:
"Suspicion" (1941) and "The Usual Suspects" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Sweet Sunday Mornings.
The screenplay.

Take a Look:
The deadpan trailer:


Time for a shower!

Succubus: Hell Bent (2007).

The Scoop:
Can I cut to the chase here? This movie is a big old freakin' waste of time. As a serious horror/thriller, it's a complete pile of twaddle. As a campy bad movie laughfest, it has a few moments, but mostly fails at that too.

While on spring break in Cancun, a completely douchey womanizing film student cleverly named Adam (Robert Mann) meets a mysterious hottie cleverly named Lilith (Natalie Denise Sperl). When he returns home, she turns up at one of his parties and starts leaving corpses in her wake. Turns out she's a succubus, a female demon who consumes the souls of men. (In case you weren't tipped off to that by the title, it's literally spelled out for you in the movie. Literally. Because nothing says "tense climactic battle" like a little impromptu spelling bee.) Sperl isn't so bad as Lilith, and is even kind of sexy. But everything else about the movie is just plain wrong.

The brain child of writer/director Kim Bass (who got his start writing for "In Living Color," oddly enough) is completely amateurish on every level. The script is horrible and cliché-ridden, the direction and editing are muddled, and the acting is wooden at best. All the male actors look like they came out of the same cookie cutter from Pricks 'R' Us. And for a movie with a lot of sex in it, there's absolutely no nudity. You do get to see plenty of Mann's pasty, mole-filled back, though.

"Succubus: Hell Bent" is completely insulting to women, film students, ambulance drivers and most other intelligent people. Oh, and did I mention that there's a demonic fighter jet dogfight? Betcha weren't expecting that!

Save yourself and get out now!

Best Bit:
Gary Busey's cameo as the whacked-out demon hunter. I'm not sure Busey knew he was really shooting a movie. Also look for really horrible cameos by David Keith, Lorenzo Lamas and Kelly Hu.

Side Note:
Want a mythology lesson? Here are the real stories behind succubi and Lilith.

Companion Viewing:
"Serpent's Lair" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.
Dr. Gore's Movie Reviews.
1,000 Misspent Hours.

Take a Look:
The trailer. You've got to love any movie in which the leads are the last two actors credited, and the first four combined have about 10 minutes of screen time, max:

Can't Stop the Music (1980).

The Scoop:
Forget "Vegas in Space." Forget "Paris is Burning." Hell, even forget "Purple Rain." This is officially the gayest movie ever made.

It's the same old trying-to-be-a-star plot that's been rehashed far too many times, but this time is stars the Village People on the downside of their popularity. And the fact that they seem to be trying so hard to convince the world that they're not gay just makes the flames coming out of the screen that much more obvious. Add to that the bad dialogue, flashy disco costumes (which, the film would have us believe, the guys wear in their daily lives, too) and the career launch of Steve Gutenberg as a struggling composer, and you've got a righteous stinker. A flaming stinker, even.

Want to know who to blame? How about producer/writer Allen Carr, director Nancy Walker, and of course the Village People's musical svengali, Jacques Morali.

This is one of the quintessential bad movies.

Best Line:
"James is the name, and flame's my game!"

Best Musical Number:
The deliriously campy "Y.M.C.A." number, which is (sadly) the only one of their good hits that made it into the film.

Side Note:
Gutenberg's character, Jack Morrell, is just a thinly-veiled version Morali.

Companion Viewing:
"Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo" (1984), "Purple Rain" (1984) and "Glitter" (2001).

Links:
IMDb.
Cool Cinema Trash.

Take a Look:
The fabulous trailer!


Do the Milshake!


Let's do the Y.M.C.A.!

The Wild Angels (1966).

The Scoop:
For one brief, shining moment this was the quintessential Biker Movie -- until the release of the far superior "Easy Rider" a few years later.

Peter Fonda plays Heavenly Blues, the leader of a biker gang from Southern California. When his buddy Loser (Bruce Dern) gets his bike stolen, they try to retrieve it, only for Loser to wind up badly hurt in the hospital. The gang tries to bust him out, only to have Loser die in the process. They hold a makeshift funeral and have a mourning party in an old church, which eventually leads to a confrontation with the local upstanding conservative citizens. And that's it. Pretty basic, really. Nancy Sinatra and Diane Ladd co-star in the obligatory girlfriend roles, while the rest of the gang is made up of various B-movie misfits and hangers-on.

While the plot and characters of "The Wild Angels" don't amount to much, the attitude and celebration of biker culture shine through. Despite its poor production values, it is a classic of its kind.

Best Line:
"We want to be free! Free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride! To ride our machines without being hassled by the man! We want to get loaded! And we want to have a good time! And that's what we're gonna do! We're gonna have a good time! We're gonna have a party!"

Side Note:
Rumor has it that Laura Dern was conceived on the set of this one.

Companion Viewing:
"Easy Rider" (1969) and "The Wild One" (1954).

Links:
IMDb.
Motherfucking Masterpieces.

Take a Look:
The opener:


Party!


Peter Fonda sticks it to The Man in one of the all-time great movie speeches: