Desuko Movie Spot

The Hidden Fortress (1958).

2009-11-06T11:50:00.000-08:00

The Scoop:
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before – a grizzled warrior must help a feisty princess escape from the clutches of an evil empire, with the help of a pair of bumbling accomplices who prove to be heroic in spite of themselves.

That’s the plot of Akira Kurosawa’s wonderful “The Hidden Fortress.” But throw in a naïve farm boy, an amoral smuggler and a Wookiee and you’ve got seed for Obi-Wan Kenobi’s rescue of Princess Leia from the Death Star in “Star Wars.” George Lucas has famously cited “The Hidden Fortress” as the inspiration for his first “Star Wars” story, from which the rest of his complicated universe sprang.

Besides the spine of the plot, several other details were borrowed by Lucas, especially the early scenes introducing bickering peasant buddies Tahei and Matakishi, which resurfaced in R2-D2 and C-3PO’s adventures on Tatooine.

But while it’s fun to play “spot the inspiration,” it’s a mistake to judge “The Hidden Fortress” solely in the light of “Star Wars.” It’s another rousing samurai adventure from Kurosawa that more than stands on its own.

Toshiro Mifune is incredible as always as Makabe, the wise, battle weary general who must protect tomboyish teenage Princess Yuki (Misa Uehara) and her kingdom’s stash of gold, then smuggle them to safety in neighboring Hayawaka. Their native land of Azikuzi has been overrun by armies from Yamana, but once in Hayakawa, Yuki will be able to use the told to rebuild her army and take back her lands.

They find their ticket out with appearance of Tahei (Minoru Chiaki) and Matakishi (Kamatari Fujiwara), who just want to escape from the war and return to their homes in Hayakawa. Thanks to their unwitting assistance, the foursome is able to stay one step ahead of the pursuing Yamana soldiers, but not without plenty of hardship and comic relief on the way.

This isn’t Kurosawa’s best samurai epic, nor is it one of the first that springs to mind when thinking about his classics – but don’t consider that an insult. “The Hidden Fortress” easily stands alongside the likes of “The Seven Samurai,” “Yojimbo” or “Rashomon.” But if it doesn’t quite reach their heights, it’s still better than most other action/adventure fare from lesser directors. Kurosawa was one of the masters of cinema; we’d expect nothing less from him.

Best Bit:
The escape on horseback.

Side Note:
It wouldn't be a Kurosawa samurai classic without Mifune -- the two made 16 films together in a 17 year stretch from 1948 to 1965.

Companion Viewing:
"Star Wars – Episode IV: A New Hope" (1977) and "The Seven Samurai" (1954).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The Japanese trailer:

The big duel:

Scooby Doo: The Mystery Begins (2009).

2009-11-03T08:07:00.000-08:00

The Scoop:
So why waste your time on this? What’s the point of bothering with a made-for-cable, third generation live action adaptation of a hack cartoon, which is squarely aimed at tweens? Really, why bother?

Well, it turns out that this disposable entertainment has a thing or two to recommend it.

A Cartoon Network original, “The Mystery Begins” is the third live action version of “Scooby Doo,” following two big budget big screen stinkers. It’s a prequel, telling the story of how the gang got together at Coolsville High School and solved their first mystery together.

Unadoptable shelter dog Scooby (voiced by Frank Welker) accidentally gets sprung from his cage and runs off in search of someone who’ll take him in. He wanders through a cemetery at night, where he sees two ghosts rising from their graves. In a panic, he runs right through the basement bedroom window of high school burnout Shaggy (Nick Palatas) who naturally takes a liking to him and tries to sneak him into school the next day in human clothes. This winds up causing a free-for-all in the school bus, which eventually lands Shaggy in detention with football team captain Fred (Robbie Amell), drama club diva Daphne (Kate Melton) and brainy geek Velma (Hayley Kiyoko). Of course, the ghosts pick that exact time to disrupt the school pep rally, and the chase is on.

The “mystery” is just as paper-thin as you’d expect, both from a “Scooby Doo” story and a tween movie. But it’s the small, fresh details that keep this from being a complete waste.

Most intriguing is the dynamic between the four kids which -- not only because it grows out of detention hall, but also because of the way it develops the relationships between members of four different high school social cliques – owes a big debt to “The Breakfast Club.” It’s actually hand led quite well for tween fluff, and the cast nails it with gusto. This is where the real story is, not in the formulaic ghost hunting shenanigans.

The interesting upshot of this is that it makes the title character almost entirely irrelevant in his own movie. Unfortunately, director Brian Levant and writers Daniel Altiere and Steven Altiere try to compensate for this by making Scooby completely obnoxious, thrusting him into all sorts of situations where he isn’t needed, and making him the vehicle of lots of sophomoric, unfunny humor. That’s all bad enough, but to top it all off, the CGI work on Scooby is atrocious.

There are also some obligatory details, like the origins of the Mystery Machine (which is pretty much what you’d expect) and Scooby Snacks (which is actually a nice little twist. And Shaggy’s status as a flat-out stoner is hinted at even more strongly than before (but because this is still ostensibly children’s entertainment, he still can’t be shown for what he really is).

However, some entertaining new wrinkles are added. Like the fact that Shaggy is a few years older than the others and, thanks to being held back in school so much, is basically an adult still attending high school. Or the casting of Velma as an Asian.

However the biggest departure from the “Scooby” mythos is that the ghosts are actual undead spirits, and not mere mechanical tricks. But don’t feel too disoriented – the villain behind those vengeful spirits is straight out of the Hanna-Barbera playbook and even gets to deliver the signature “meddling kids” line after his capture. Because there are some classics you just don’t want to mess with.

Best Bit:
The gang's ridiculously over-the-top undercover disguises -- Daphne as a goth, Fred in hip hop gear (think Brian Austin Green), Velma as a hot chick, and Shaggy and Scooby as trash cans.

Side Note:
Welker is a veteran cartoon voice actor who has been working steadily since the 1960s. His roles include most of the Decepticons in the original "Transformers" series and numerous roles in "Tiny Toon Adventures" and "Animaniacs" -- not to mention playing Fred in the original "Scooby Doo" series.

Companion Viewing:
The original Hanna Barbera cartoons from the early 1970s.

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Hayley Kiyoko's video blog, made during production:

The Green Slime (1968).

2009-10-30T08:47:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Flora, a “class two asteroid” suddenly takes a left turn starts hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. The only man qualified to stop this menace and save the world is studly rocket jock Jack Rankin (Robert Horton), who must team up with arch-nemesis Capt. Elliott (Richard Jaeckel) to destroy the killer rock. They’re successful, but they find out on the way home that they’ve mistakenly picked up an alien slime that spawns silly tentacle creatures with a taste for human flesh. Meanwhile, in between rousing bouts of square-jawed heroism, Rankin and Elliott fight over sexy doctor Lisa Benson (Luciana Paluzzi).

So basically, this starts out as “Armageddon” and then turns into “Alien.”

This Japanese production is filled with the cheap effects and clunky performances you’d expect from your favorite Godzilla movie, but with a cast of American and Italian actors. It’s completely laugh-worthy, of course, but the best thing about it is the swinging title by Richard Delvy, quite possibly the best theme song of any movie ever.

Best Bit:
Besides the theme song? It's the groovy welcome back party. It's too swingin' for Earth, so they had to hold it on a space station.

Side Note:
All the extras are American military personnel who were based in Japan at the time.

Companion Viewing:
"The Wild, Wild Planet" (1965).

Links:
IMDb.
BadMovies.org.
Monster Island News.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

The theme song!

Night of the Lepus (1972).

2009-10-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Starring Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, DeForest Kelley, Rory Calhoun and some of the deadliest rabbits outside of Monty Python, “Night of the Lepus” is one of the pioneering films in the ‘70s wave of eco-horror films and, needless to say, probably the silliest.

When Arizona rancher Cole Hillman’s (Calhoun) land is overrun with rabbits, he gets his university president pal Elgin Clark (Kelley) to call in heroic wildlife researchers Roy and Gerry Bennett (Whitman and Leigh) to find a nonpoisonous, environmentally friendly way to control the population. Unfortunately, the couple’s daughter Amanda (Melanie Fullerton) switches around some of the rabbits her parents are experimenting on, resulting in a plague of giant man-eating bunnies terrorizing the desert Southwest.

Director William F. Claxton and writers Don Holliday and Gene R. Kearney (working from what must be an absurd novel by Russell Braddon) throw in just about every genre cliché available, and while there is the occasional good moment, it’s just not enough. The fairly talented cast just sleepwalks through every scene and the script lets a lot of important pieces of plot happen offscreen. And no matter how much the breathless introduction tries to convince us how threatening rabbits can be, it’s all undercut by the ridiculous premise and bad slow motion effects.

“Night of the Lepus” is definitely a must-watch, but for all the wrong reasons.

Best Bit:
The bunny attack inside the miner’s shack.

Side Note:
The studio was afraid that if the audience knew the movie was about killer rabbits, they wouldn't watch it. So the novel's title ("The Year of the Angry Rabbit") was changed and no rabbits appeared on the original theater posters.

Companion Viewing:
"Kingdom of the Spiders" (1977).

Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
BadMovies.org.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Some random clips:

Charade (1963).

2009-10-20T15:28:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Two of Hollywood's classic romantic leads, Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn, team up for this great suspense thriller, their only cinematic pairing.

Hepburn is Regina Lampert, a widow who discovers that her dead husband had a secret past and a big stash of hidden loot. Pretty soon, all his old cohorts are chasing her through Paris and it's up to Grant to save her -- if she can trust him. Where's the money hidden? Who will the killer strike next? The viewer is kept guessing right up to the end and Hepburn and Grant keep the romantic sparks flying. The supporting cast is filled with familiar faces, including James Coburn, George Kennedy and Walter Matthau.

Produced and directed by Stanley Donen, best known for his musicals, "Charade" is smart, witty and stylish. The script by Peter Stone is great, as is the music by Henry Mancini. Top notch all the way. This is one of the best films Hitchcock never made.

Best Bit:
Just pick any bit of banter between Hepburn and Grant. It's all great.

Side Note:
At the British Academy Awards, this performance earned Grant a nomination for Best Foreign Actor -- even though he was born and raised in London.

Companion Viewing:
"Suspicion" (1941) and "The Usual Suspects" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Sweet Sunday Mornings.
The screenplay.

Take a Look:
The deadpan trailer:

Time for a shower!

Succubus: Hell Bent (2007).

2009-10-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Can I cut to the chase here? This movie is a big old freakin' waste of time. As a serious horror/thriller, it's a complete pile of twaddle. As a campy bad movie laughfest, it has a few moments, but mostly fails at that too.

While on spring break in Cancun, a completely douchey womanizing film student cleverly named Adam (Robert Mann) meets a mysterious hottie cleverly named Lilith (Natalie Denise Sperl). When he returns home, she turns up at one of his parties and starts leaving corpses in her wake. Turns out she's a succubus, a female demon who consumes the souls of men. (In case you weren't tipped off to that by the title, it's literally spelled out for you in the movie. Literally. Because nothing says "tense climactic battle" like a little impromptu spelling bee.) Sperl isn't so bad as Lilith, and is even kind of sexy. But everything else about the movie is just plain wrong.

The brain child of writer/director Kim Bass (who got his start writing for "In Living Color," oddly enough) is completely amateurish on every level. The script is horrible and cliché-ridden, the direction and editing are muddled, and the acting is wooden at best. All the male actors look like they came out of the same cookie cutter from Pricks 'R' Us. And for a movie with a lot of sex in it, there's absolutely no nudity. You do get to see plenty of Mann's pasty, mole-filled back, though.

"Succubus: Hell Bent" is completely insulting to women, film students, ambulance drivers and most other intelligent people. Oh, and did I mention that there's a demonic fighter jet dogfight? Betcha weren't expecting that!

Save yourself and get out now!

Best Bit:
Gary Busey's cameo as the whacked-out demon hunter. I'm not sure Busey knew he was really shooting a movie. Also look for really horrible cameos by David Keith, Lorenzo Lamas and Kelly Hu.

Side Note:
Want a mythology lesson? Here are the real stories behind succubi and Lilith.

Companion Viewing:
"Serpent's Lair" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.
Dr. Gore's Movie Reviews.
1,000 Misspent Hours.

Take a Look:
The trailer. You've got to love any movie in which the leads are the last two actors credited, and the first four combined have about 10 minutes of screen time, max:

Can't Stop the Music (1980).

2009-10-13T08:35:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Forget "Vegas in Space." Forget "Paris is Burning." Hell, even forget "Purple Rain." This is officially the gayest movie ever made.

It's the same old trying-to-be-a-star plot that's been rehashed far too many times, but this time is stars the Village People on the downside of their popularity. And the fact that they seem to be trying so hard to convince the world that they're not gay just makes the flames coming out of the screen that much more obvious. Add to that the bad dialogue, flashy disco costumes (which, the film would have us believe, the guys wear in their daily lives, too) and the career launch of Steve Gutenberg as a struggling composer, and you've got a righteous stinker. A flaming stinker, even.

Want to know who to blame? How about producer/writer Allen Carr, director Nancy Walker, and of course the Village People's musical svengali, Jacques Morali.

This is one of the quintessential bad movies.

Best Line:
"James is the name, and flame's my game!"

Best Musical Number:
The deliriously campy "Y.M.C.A." number, which is (sadly) the only one of their good hits that made it into the film.

Side Note:
Gutenberg's character, Jack Morrell, is just a thinly-veiled version Morali.

Companion Viewing:
"Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo" (1984), "Purple Rain" (1984) and "Glitter" (2001).

Links:
IMDb.
Cool Cinema Trash.

Take a Look:
The fabulous trailer!

Do the Milshake!

Let's do the Y.M.C.A.!

The Wild Angels (1966).

2009-10-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
For one brief, shining moment this was the quintessential Biker Movie -- until the release of the far superior "Easy Rider" a few years later.

Peter Fonda plays Heavenly Blues, the leader of a biker gang from Southern California. When his buddy Loser (Bruce Dern) gets his bike stolen, they try to retrieve it, only for Loser to wind up badly hurt in the hospital. The gang tries to bust him out, only to have Loser die in the process. They hold a makeshift funeral and have a mourning party in an old church, which eventually leads to a confrontation with the local upstanding conservative citizens. And that's it. Pretty basic, really. Nancy Sinatra and Diane Ladd co-star in the obligatory girlfriend roles, while the rest of the gang is made up of various B-movie misfits and hangers-on.

While the plot and characters of "The Wild Angels" don't amount to much, the attitude and celebration of biker culture shine through. Despite its poor production values, it is a classic of its kind.

Best Line:
"We want to be free! Free to do what we want to do! We want to be free to ride! To ride our machines without being hassled by the man! We want to get loaded! And we want to have a good time! And that's what we're gonna do! We're gonna have a good time! We're gonna have a party!"

Side Note:
Rumor has it that Laura Dern was conceived on the set of this one.

Companion Viewing:
"Easy Rider" (1969) and "The Wild One" (1954).

Links:
IMDb.
Motherfucking Masterpieces.

Take a Look:
The opener:

Party!

Peter Fonda sticks it to The Man in one of the all-time great movie speeches:

The Notorious Bettie Page (2005).

2009-10-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Unlike “Bettie Page: Dark Angel,” this can be considered a true biopic of the iconic pinup queen. However, also unlike that film, “The Notorious Bettie Page” lacks a bit of sizzle.

Yet that’s not to say that Mary Harron’s film isn’t worth watching. Particularly exciting is Gretchen Mol’s performance in the title role. For all her fame and influence, Bettie Page is an idol who is frozen in amber for us. All we know of her comes from hundreds of still photographs and just a few film shorts, most of which are devoted more to particular fetishes rather than Bettie’s own considerable personality – and all of which came for just a short period of her life.

But Mol fills in the blanks wonderfully well. She bears a remarkable resemblance to Bettie and recreates the photogenic personality we know from all those pinups. But she also expands on that to bring to life a complex character who maintains a childlike innocence about her powerful sexuality, but who enjoys exercising it nonetheless. Plus, she’s not afraid to go the full monty with a refreshing exuberance.

The supporting cast -- which includes Chris Bauer as Irving Klaw, Lili Taylor as Paula Klaw, and David Straithairn as Sen. Estes Kefauver – is also excellent.

Also of note is the cinematography of Mott Hupfel. His rich black and white photography creates a gritty, noir-esque vision of 1950s New York that also faithfully recreates the look and feel of Page’s pinup work with the Klaws. For the Miami sequences, Hupfel switches to a brilliant, pastel-filled color palette that matches the sunny world of Bunny Yeager’s photos of Bettie.

So where’s the problem? Mostly it’s in the screenplay by Harron and Guinivere Turner, who also teamed up for "American Psycho." There is an evocative opening sequence introducing us to the world of 1950s adult bookstores, but the script quickly devolves from there into a clichéd naïve-country-girl-in-the-big-city take on Page’s pinup career. While we see all of the key moments in Bettie’s life from her start in modeling in New York in 1953 to her religious awakening in Miami in 1959, there is not depth or understanding to it. Also absent are all but a few hints of some of the darker, more extreme aspects of Page’s combustible sexuality.

Nowhere does the film really get under Bettie’s skin. So, consequently, it can’t get under the audience’s skin either. At the end of the film, Page remains just as much of a mystery to us as she was at the beginning, despite Mol’s best efforts to give us a glimpse at the real Bettie Page.

The film also avoids dealing with the mess of Page’s post-modeling life, which included evangelic missions, paranoid schizophrenia, an attempted murder trial, years in a psychiatric institution, followed by some messy copyright battles over her image in the 1990s. (She died in seclusion in 2008 at the age of 85). But that’s just as well, because that’s not the Bettie Page we want to remember.

We want to remember the Bettie staring back at us from all those classic pinup shots – energetic, confident and just as enticing to men as to women, generation after generation. “The Notorious Bettie Page” makes a spirited effort to capture that Bettie, but falls just a bit short.

Best Line:
"I'm not ashamed. Adam and Eve were naked in the Garden of Eden, weren't they? When they sinned, they put on clothes."

Side Note:
This film is filled with improper camera technique on the part of the actors playing the photographers. While most of the cameras being used are period accurate, the actors are just waving them around without any clue of how they were supposed to be handled.

Companion Viewing:
"Bettie Page: Dark Angel" (2004) and "I Shot Andy Warhol" (1996).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

RAWR!

Scorched (2002).

2009-10-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Let's cut to the chase. Gavin Grazer and Joe Wein's film "Scorched" is just another one of those self-consciously quirky indie comedies that tries too hard to be clever for its own good.

In a nondescript California desert town (apparently named Desert, California), three disgruntled employees of the local bank each plot come up with their own plans to rob the bank, and execute their heists on the same weekend. There's Stewart (Paolo Costanzo) and his numbskull pal Max (David Krumholtz) who "borrow" $250,000 from the mini-vault to use on an all-or-nothing roulette bet in Las Vegas. Sheila (Alicia Silverstone) enlists new firefighter pal Max (Ivan Sergei) to empty out the ATMs to get back at her ex-boyfriend, the douchebag bank manager Rick (Joshua Leonard). And then there's Woody Harrelson in the role he was born to play -- Woods, the spaced-out desert rat assistant manager who wants to get revenge on infomercial con artist Mr. Merchant (John Cleese) by cleaning out his safe deposit box. Also mixed up in the shenanigans are new employee Doleman (Marcus Thomas) and his free-spirited pal Shmally (Rachel Leigh Cook).

The plot, which relies on such improbabilities as the banks lack of 24/7 video cameras and the fact that ducks live wild in the desert, plays out pretty much as you'd expect. The comedy is pretty half-baked, unless your idea of fun is watching Woody Harrelson try to hold his own while acting opposite various animals. And, except for Silverstone and Costanzo, everyone else pretty much mails it in.

Sure, there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes of your life. But there are also lots of better things you can do with your time than spending it on this well-meaning but forgettable trifle.

Best Bit:
Jeffrey Tambor's cameo as the spaced-out bank executive.

Side Note:
The horned toad Woods is talking to in the desert at the beginning is actually an Australian bearded dragon, which is not native to California.

Companion Viewing:
"Love and a .45" (1994).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
Something put together by a Rachel Leigh Cook fanboy:

Thanks to a kindly overseas bootleg site, you can watch the whole film with Korean(?) subtitles:

Bettie Page: Dark Angel (2004).

2009-09-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Along with Marilyn, Elvis and James Dean, Bettie Page was one of the quintessential 1950s icons. She may not have gotten the acclaim during her own time that those others did, but that's only because she was the epitome of sexuality in that era -- a sexuality that the nation's moral guardians tried so hard to keep under wraps. But her fans wouldn't be deterred and for years after her abrupt retirement from modeling, they kept her legacy alive with pinup shots and film shorts hidden in dresser drawers and under mattresses until the world was ready for her re-emergence in the 1990s.

"Bettie Page: Dark Angel" is ostensibly a biopic, but only in the loosest sense. Produced by Cult Epics -- the current distributor of most of her film loops -- the movie is built around faithful recreations of some of Bettie's most infamous "lost" shorts. Interspersed with the recreations are scenes from her life during that period, with the focus squarely on her bondage work with Irving Klaw, although there is brief lip service paid to her shoots with Bunny Yeager. But these scenes have all the awkward writing, stilted acting and cardboard quality production values that you've come to expect from the non-sex scenes of your favorite old pornos.

So the results are uneven, to say the least. But luckily, you're probably not watching this movie for the dramatic scenes.

The recreations are campy fun and star Paige Richards not only is a dead ringer for Bettie, but also brings along her years of experience in softcore porn to really sell it. She doesn't have the same presence as Bettie, but no one could. She comes close, though, which goes a long way toward making this cheapo production watchable.

Best Bit:
The kindergarten quality recreation of the Kefauver hearings.

Side Note:
The theme song is by Chris Stein of Blondie. He was signed to do the whole score, but then backed out. The swinging burlesque score used in the film is by Danny B. Harvey and Zack Ryan.

Companion Viewing:
"The Notorious Bettie Page" (2005).

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

A montage:

I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957).

2009-09-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
This cult classic follows a formula pretty common in the late 1950s -- take a conventional B-movie concept and weld it onto a teen alienation story derived from "Rebel Without a Cause." Obviously, the B-movie theme this time around is lycanthropy.

A young Michael Landon (in tremendous spasms of scenery chewing) is Tony, a typical '50s version of a troubled teen who is sent to psychologist Dr. Brandon (Whit Bissell) to get his head straight. Unfortunately, the doctor is secretly a mad scientist who wants to use Tony as the test subject for some hypnotic devolutionary mumbo-jumbo that turns people into werewolves. In completely predictable fashion, Tony turns hairy, terrorizes his small town, turns on Dr. Brandon, then is put down by the authorities.

The make-up isn't bad, but otherwise the movie's huge financial success at the time has colored its perception today, making it far too overrated. Especially bad is the "Eeny Meeny Mieny Mo" song.

Best Line:
"It's my belief that these legends and myths died out with the invention of electricity."

Side Note:
Landon later returned to spoof this material in an episode of "Highway to Heaven" called "I Was a Middle-Aged Werewolf."

Companion Viewing:
Producer Herman Cohen's follow-up films, "I Was a Teenage Frankenstein" (1957), "Blood of Dracula" (1957) and "How to Make a Monster" (1958).

Links:
IMDb.
HorrorFind.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

The full movie, part one:

Love's Labour's Lost (2000).

2009-09-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
One of the joys of seeing Shakespeare on stage, even after 400 years' worth of productions, is the range of experimentation that is still possible with the material, even if the risks don't always pay off. On film, however, the risks have traditionally been kept to a minimum, with most productions being set either in a generic 19th century European countryside, or in Elizabethan dress.

So, on that level, it's a breath of fresh air to watch Kenneth Branagh's take on "Love's Labour's Lost," which he stages as a 1930s movie musical. For all of Branagh's Shakespearean bonafides, it's a bold move to have the Bard's words broken up by musical numbers set to the songs of George Gershwin, Jerome Kern, Cole Porter and others. However, this is one experiment that falls flat.

But first, for the uninitiated, here's the story in a nutshell. The King of Naverre (Alessandro Nivola) and his three buddies (Matthew Lillard, Adrian Lester and Branagh) agree to give up the company of women for three years to devote themselves to their studies. However, the French princess (Alicia Silverstone) shows up on a diplomatic mission with her attendants (Natasha McElhone, Carmen Ejogo and Emily Mortimer). As you might guess, various wackiness ensues before a bittersweet ending. The play is one of Shakespeare's early comedies that doesn't carry the weight or beauty of his later, more famous work.

The biggest problem with the film is that Branagh's concept requires such wildly different skill sets from his cast that none of them can do it all. So, despite the presence of a talented ensemble, nothing quite hangs together. The actors are either good at the poetry (Branagh, McElhone and the wonderful old pro Richard Briers) or the song and dance (Lester and Nathan Lane, who seems to be channeling all four Marx Brothers). And then there are the unfortunate few (namely, Silverstone and Lillard) who can handle neither. As a result, every scene seems strained as everyone on screen is trying too hard to reach out of their comfort zone to deliver something they may not have training in. And then there's the performance of Timothy Spall as Don Armado, who chews the scenery into tiny pieces.

But for all of that, it is still a lovely film to look at, thanks to the art direction of Mark Raggett, the costumes by Anna Buruma and Alex Thomson's excellent cinematography. There are even a few good directorial touches from Branagh. It's not quite enough to offset the problems with the acting, but it's still good to see a play from outside the usual cinematic Shakespearean canon on the big screen, even if most of the text has been cut.

Best Bit:
The best Shakespearean bit is Branagh's dynamite delivery of the "From women's eyes" soliloquy. The best musical bit is the Gene Kelly-ish sensuality and bravado of the "Let's Face the Music and Dance" number.

Side Note:
Shakespeare's ending to "Love's Labour's Lost" is notoriously inconclusive, which is something Branagh addresses with a montage showing what happened to the characters after the end of the story. However, many scholars now believe that this play is just the first part of the story, which was finished by Shakespeare in a play called "Love's Labour's Won" that is now lost to history.

Companion Viewing:
"Pennies From Heaven" (1981) and "Everybody Says I Love You" (1996).

Links:
IMDb.
The complete play.

Take a Look:
"I Won't Dance":

Branagh doing what he does best (by which I mean the soliloquizing, not the tap dancing):

Nathan Lane doing what he does best (by which I mean the Broadway-zing, not the soliloquizing):

"Let's Face the Music and Dance" (complete with Spanish subtitles):

Behind the scenes featurette:

Let the Devil Wear Black (1999).

2009-09-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
All you really need to know is that this is an update of "Hamlet" set in the L.A. Jewish underworld.

It's a promising concept, but ultimately falls flat. Jack (Jonathan Penner) is depressed about his father's death, especially when his mother (Jacqueline Bisset) marries his uncle (Jamey Sheridan). Thanks to a mysterious informer and a little detective work, Jack discovers that his uncle killed his father, then plots out his revenge. Meanwhile his girlfriend (Mary-Louise Parker) slowly goes insane.

The problem is that nothing seems to hang together. There's very little plot progression and, in fact, if you didn't know the basic story of "Hamlet" you'd probably have not idea what was happening at all. Only the barest outline of the "Hamlet" story remains, replaced with a lot of scenes that go nowhere and with reams of pretentious, pseudo-philosophic, pseudo-gritty dialogue. It's slow and dreary, and even at 89 minutes if feels way too long.

Not content with being a wannabe Shakespeare, director Stacy Title (who also co-wrote with Penner) also tries to be a wannabe Tarantino. And "Let the Devil Wear Black" is nothing more than just another late entry in the wave of Tarantino imitations that flooded indie cinemas in the '90s.

Best Bit:
"If brains were cars, you'd have a boat."

Side Note:
The title "Let the Devil Wear Black" of course comes from Shakespeare's play -- Hamlet says it to Ophelia in Act III, Scene 2.

Companion Viewing:
Kenneth Branagh's "Hamlet" (1996) for a good treatment of the original play, and Ethan Hawke's "Hamlet" (2000) for another updated version.

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Some NSFW bullshit philosophy:

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978).

2009-09-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
With Beatles Rockband coming out tomorrow, we're in the midst of another one of those periodic waves that flood our culture celebrating the Beatles' legacy. It is most definitely a legacy that deserves celebrating, but sometimes it's worth remembering that not every appropriation of the Beatles is a work of genius.

Take, for instance, this... thing. How was this ever a good idea? Pop stars of the '70s (including the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton and Earth, Wind & Fire) gather to cover Beatles songs and participate in some sort of plot cobbled together from references to Beatles lyrics. And the resulting film is even worse than the description sounds.

It was directed by Michael Schultz (who was also responsible for "Car Wash" and "Carbon Copy"), written by Henry Edwards (who had no other film credits after this) and the non-musical cast includes George Burns, Donald Pleasance, Sandy Farina and Steve Martin.

Despite an interesting touch or two (such as the inspired casting of Aerosmith as the evil enemy band), this is only good for unintentional laughs and not much else. Provided you can stomach the desecration of such great music.

Best Line:
"Could Billy survive 10,000 volts? It was a lot more than normally came through his guitar. Frankly, he was shocked. Stunned and unconscious, only the power of true love could revive the injured Billy."

Side Note:
The "Guests of Heartland" read like a who's who of the mid-1970s pop charts, including Leif Garrett, Jose Feliciano, Donovan, Yvonne Elliman, Rick Derringer, Seals and Crofts, Dr. John and dozens of others. Hidden in the crowd - and carefully omitted from the end credits - are George Harrison and Paul and Linda McCartney.

Companion Viewing:
"Xanadu" (1980) and "Across the Universe" (2007).

Links:
IMDb.
Fan site.
Trading cards!.
The history of the trumpet.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Sandy Farina plays Strawberry Fields, singing "Strawberry Fields Forever":

Summer Rerun: Dante's Inferno (2007).

2009-09-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published July 18, 2008]

The Scoop:
One unintended consequence of the electronic media age has been a change in the way we experience classic (i.e., pre-20th century) literature. Now it's all about the adaptation. (Of course, these adaptations make sense for the filmmakers, who get cheap access to familiar material and don't have to deal with authors who demand royalties or protest changes in the script.) More and more, one's first encounter with Shakespeare or Dickens or countless other authors is through a film or television adaptation of one of their works. If audiences aren't rushing to the cineplex for their first tastes of these classics, they are getting them in the classroom -- teachers typically now accompany their reading assignments with screenings of films based on these works to help students better understand them. Shakespeare has now become inseparable from Olivier or Branagh, and Jane Austen from the starlet du jour.

All of which brings us to this version of "Dante's Inferno."

Italian poet Dante Alighieri's "Comedy" -- his epic tale of his journey through hell ("Inferno"), purgatory ("Purgatorio") and heaven ("Paradiso") under the tutelage of his idol, the Roman poet Virgil and Dante's beloved Beatrice -- is notoriously resistant to onscreen adaptation. Except for a couple perfunctory stabs from the silent era and a BBC miniseries from the 1980s, little straight adaptation has been done of the poem. More commonly, elements of the "Comedy" have been used as inspirations or jumping-off points for newer works. (One typical example is the 1935film "Dante's Inferno," a turgid morality play in which Spencer Tracy plays a carnival barker wrestling with the ethics of his profession. The attraction he shills for, a ride based on "Inferno," is shown in only a few scenes, primarily as a comment on the action of the main story.)

So give filmmakers Sean Meredith, Sandow Birk and Paul Zaloom credit for attempting a full adaptation of "Inferno." One reason adaptors have stayed away from Dante is his work's resistance to modernized spins on the material (something that has become a staple of filmed Shakespeare, for instance). But the threesome give it a try, mixing in modern situations and personalities with the arcane issues and obscure historical figures used by Dante. Credit should also go to them for doing it in the form of a puppet show.

In this version Dante (voiced by Dermot Mulroney) wakes up hung over in a seedy alley, not knowing how he got there. He his approached by Virgil (James Cromwell), who leads him down a sewer into the pit of hell, where they encounter pimps and whores, corporate malfeasance and urban decay to go along with the medieval horrors chronicled in the original.

The puppetwork, using paper figures that manage to be terrifically expressive, is wonderful, but many of the other creative choices fall flat. For every update that works (portraying the Maleboge demons as hypervigilant T.S.A. agents, or mounting Ulysses' story as a puppet show within a puppet show) there are a handful that don't (Lucifer's fondue pot, or the multiple references to the rock band Styx).

Pacing is a problem as well. By the film's halfway mark, Virgil and Dante have raced through the first seven pits of hell, then spend the last half in a leisurely stroll through the final two pits, including plenty of non-Dante tangents along the way. Also, purists may be offended that (spoiler alert!) Dante's trip through hell ends with him back on earth rather than preparing to scale the mountain of purgatory.

But in all it's an admirable effort to try to make a 700-year-old epic poem relevant to modern audiences. The somewhat basic approach may make it cringe-worthy for Dante aficionados. But that makes it ideal for use in a high school classroom, giving another generation an opening to understanding a monumental piece of literature.

Best Bit:
The Pope John Paul II cameo.

Side Note:
Zaloom is better known as Beakman from the TV show "Beakman's World."

Companion Viewing:
"Dante's Inferno" (1935).

Links:
IMDb.
Official Site.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

A song and dance number explaining the grip lobbyists hold on Congress:

Summer Rerun: F For Fake (1974).

2009-08-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published Nov. 27, 2007]

The Scoop:
Orson Welles was the consummate trickster. Already a successful theater director, he burst into the public eye in 1939 with his infamous "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast, a pioneering piece of pseudo-documentary hucksterism. From there it was onto the capital of illusion, Hollywood, where he began a film career in which he repeatedly played with the audience's notions of the boundaries reality and imagination, and celebrated the power of magic.

In the documentary "F For Fake," which would ultimately prove to be his final directorial effort, he turns his lifelong fascination with trickery and illusion toward investigating the case of notorious art forger Elmyr de Hory and his equally notorious biographer (and Howard Hughes diary forger) Clifford Irving. As they tell their stories for his camera, Welles interweaves his own philosophizing on the power of fraud and the nature of art. Plus, as if that weren't enough, the careers of Hughes and Welles himself get mixed in for good measure.

And then there's the final 20 minutes or so, in which Welles detours into telling the story of Oja Kodar, which transcends all the indulgence and trickery that came before.

The result is an essay, really, more than a film -- but one that is sprawling and fascinating.

In the end, "F For Fake" becomes a fitting tribute to his career -- both thought-provoking and self-serving, dishing out equal parts brilliance and self-indulgence. And utterly ignored by the mainstream.

Best Bit:
There's lots of good, quotable stuff here, but the discourse on the cathedral at Chartes stands out.

Side Note:
The excerpt of "War of the Worlds" that Welles includes is actually a recreation, not the original broadcast, and even includes some rewritten lines.

Companion Listening/Viewing:
Welles' original "War of the Worlds" (1939) and "The Blair Witch Project" (1999).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

The Chartes monologue:

Summer Rerun: Watchmen (2009).

2009-08-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published March 31, 2009]

The Scoop:
When Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' "Watchmen" was released in 1985, it became a landmark in the emerging genre of graphic novels and has cast a long shadow. Not only did it enlarge the storytelling possibilities in the comics field, but its effects have also been felt in the larger popular culture, particularly the way films and television shows have handled superhero themes. It was also very much a product of its times, delving deep into the Cold War anxieties of the mid-1980s.

All of which make any sort of film version of "Watchmen" especially problematic. As written by David Hayter ("X-Men") and newcomer Alex Tse and directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), the film is full of thunder and excitement, but runs up against a few walls.

The story takes place in a darker, alternate version of 1985 America in which costumed adventurers and vigilantes are common place and, after their halcyon days in the 1940s, have become increasingly distrusted by the public for enforcing the oppresive policies of the U.S. government, led by Richard Nixon in his fifth term as president. Against the backdrop of escalating nuclear tensions between the U.S. and Soviet Union, the hero-turned-military-mercenary The Comedian is murdered. As the sociopathic vigilante Rohrshach tries to solve the crime, he and his former compatriots (including Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Dr. Manhattan and Ozymandias) uncover corruption and a global power grab.

The novel's genius lies in its multi-layered storytelling, which is rich in symbolism, literary allusions and a wonderfully fleshed-out cast of supporting characters. The history of this alternate world is also richly detailed, providing a running commentary on the main story and rewarding careful attention. All these elements combine to debunk the idealized superhero mythos, turning a cynical eye to the corruption possible when so much power is concentrated in the hands of flawed human beings. It is a world that is less about Superman and more about Travis Bickle.

Accordingly, a faithful film adaptation is a pretty tall order. The Cold War paranoia has lost much of its edge in the nearly quarter century since its release, as had the shock of the novel's innovations. The filmmakers do their best to honor the source material, but come up with a mixed bag.

For the sake of brevity and to not alienate those who haven't read the novel, the filmmakers sweep aside much of the complex backstory for the film. While this serves to keep the focus on the current generation of heroes, it also diminishes the psychological realism of the piece. Consequently, a lot of the characters' actions exist in a vaccuum, and much of Moore's original message is lost. Almost all of the cast of minor characters is lost, too, making the proceedings seem so much thinner and one-dimensional.

And then there's the violence. While the novel and the film are each especially violent, they wind up being two different creatures. Snyder and his writers toned down many of the more brutal passages of the book in favor of Snyder's patented garish fight choreography. Limbs shatter and blood gushes in gruesome slow motion. It's hypnotic and balletic, but ultimately just eye candy. The amoral brutality that Moore used to illuminate his hard-edged characters is replaced by empty and gratuitous exercises in CGI wizardry.

But it's not all bad. The novel's greatest weakness -- its convoluted, inorganic ending -- is given a minor revamp here to better effect. It's still not wholly satisfying, but it is definitely a step in the right direction. There is also terrific cinematography by Larry Fong (a veteran of "300" and "Lost") that vividly brings to life some of the best parts of Gibbons' original artwork.

The acting, too, is solid. With the exception of a wooden turn by Malin Ackerman as the second Silk Spectre, this is a talented ensemble. Billy Crudup (as Dr. Manhattan) and Jackie Earle Haley (as Rohrshach) are particularly great.

In total, "Watchmen" is not completely successful, but it's not a failure, either. Just be sure to read the book first, to fully appreciate the story's rich possibilities.

Best Line:
"Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."

Side Note:
Having been in development for decades, "Watchmen" has had numerous actors, writers and directors attached to the project at various times. Among the directors considered were Terry Gilliam, Darren Aronofsky, Paul Greenglass and Michael Bay. Among the candidates to play Rohrshach were Robin Williams, Simon Pegg, Daniel Craig and Doug Hutchinson.

Companion Viewing:
"V For Vendetta" (2005) and "The Incredibles" (2004).

Links:
IMDb.
Official Site.
Watchmen Wiki.
The Annotated Watchmen.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Trailer #2:

Summer Rerun: Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993).

2009-08-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published April 6, 2007]

The Scoop:
One would think that this was just another hack-job horror sequel -- and one would be right, up to a point. But his film has a little something extra which makes it stand out from the crowd.

A rebellious teenager (J. Trevor Edmond) gets into a fight with his Army officer father ("Emergency's" Kent McCord) -- who works at a top-secret base studying the gas that turns corpses into the living dead -- and runs away with his girlfriend Julie (Mindy Clarke). They don't get too far before Julie gets fatally injured in a motorcycle accident. Of course, her dunderheaded boyfriend has the brilliant idea of breaking into dad's lab and using the gas to bring her back to life. The results are unique -- she appears to be okay, but slowly begins showing signs of encroaching zombie-ism. There are some great scenes in which Clarke and director Brian Yuzna communicate the poignancy of the ongoing transformation and its effect on the couple's romance. Unfortunately, these alternate with scenes filled with the purest, lamest horror sequel clichés. Imagine two screenwriters -- one an Oscar winner, the other a brain-dead moron -- being asked to write scripts on the same premise, then randomly splicing the two scripts together and allowing all the seams to show. The result would be something like this movie. Still, Clarke is pretty sexy and does a decent job with the "good" material -- plus, the scene where she prepares to kick evil zombie butt by piercing herself with scrap metal has a certain S&M kick to it.

This film also manages to somehow to have three "endings" -- two scenes that would've been perfectly good resolutions to the story, and one which really is the end. If it had closed after the first "ending," the film might arguably be called a sleeper classic. Even if they had finished with the second "ending," the filmmakers could have saved some face. Unfortunately, they let the final act drag out far too long.

Best Bit:
The piercing scene.

Side Note:
Clarke was a regular on "Days of Our Lives" and has made guest appearances on "Seinfeld," "Sliders" and "Xena: Warrior Princess."

Companion Viewing:
George Romero's orginal living dead trilogy -- "Night of the Living Dead" (1968), "Dawn of the Dead" (1979) and "Day of the Dead" (1985) -- as well as the first "Return of the Living Dead" (1985).

Links:
IMDb.
The Flesh Farm.
Robert Llewellyn's Classic Films.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Guest Blog: Answers to Vince's Quiz.

2009-08-21T08:18:00.000-07:00

Remember the quiz that Vince from Vince's Quiz so graciously guest blogged for us? Well, here are the answers! He chose the stars of the films listed in my Blogger profile as my favorites. Rascally guy...

1. Hal 9000 (voiced by Douglas Rain) (2001: A Space Odyssey)

2. Marlon Brando (Apocalypse Now)

3. Jack Webb (Dragnet)

4. Cary Grant (His Girl Friday)

5. Sally Kellerman (M*A*S*H)

6. Uma Thurman (Pulp Fiction)

7. Harvey Keitel (Reservoir Dogs)

8. Carrie Fisher (Star Wars)

9. John Goodman (True Stories)

Summer Rerun: 200 Motels (1971).

2009-08-18T08:39:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published Jan. 6, 2009]

The Scoop:
Part rock opera, part tour exposé, part vanity project, part absurdist theater, part experiemental music video -- Frank Zappa's "200 Motels" can be a tough nut to crack.

Zappa and the early-1970s version of his band, the Mothers of Invention, had an ongoing fascination with the life of a touring rock band. This fascination found its way into their music, and their shows became increasingly elaborate musical theater pieces full of songs, skits and jokes centered around sex, drugs and other outrageous behavior. It was all based on things they had done themselves, or on the stories that made the rounds among other groups. This exploration of the lifestyle finally culminated in "200 Motels."

Beneath all the madness and surrealism of the film, there is a plot of sorts -- Zappa (played by Ringo Starr) and the Mothers (who all play themselves) roll into the generic American town of Centerville looking for a good time. There, they cross paths with a pair of groupies (Janet Ferguson and Lucy Offerall), the devil (Theodore Bikel), a nun (Keith Moon) and a host of other strange characters.

Many of the situations come right from the Mothers' tour experiences, and much of the dialogue is based on transcripts of conversations captured by Zappa and his cassette recorder during downtime on the road. The result is surprisingly genuine, despited the intentionally stilted delivery of the troupe of non-actors and Zappa's notorious ironic detachment from his material.

Musically, the work here comes from one of Zappa's most fertile periods, and it finds following two different creative strands. With the Mothers, he creates some straight-ahead, powerful blues rock that would not sound out of place alongside the Allman Brothers, Zeppelin or even Sabbath. These songs are interspersed with FZ's more experimental compositions, performed by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. These pieces represent a turning point in his avant garde career, both looking back to the studio-bound "sound sculptures" of his early albums and also foreshadowing the orchestral work he would do in earnest a decade later.

For Zappa neophytes, "200 Motels" (both the film and the soundtrack album) is probably not the best introduction to the man's work. But for fans it is essential and rewards close, repeated viewings.

Best Line:
"The fuckin' devil's got an English accent. I seen him three weeks ago on TV. So you know, you can just take this big needle here and hang it in your ass as far as I'm concerned!"

Side Note:
Offerall and Pamela Miller (who plays the Interviewer) were members of the GTO's (Girls Together Outrageously), a groupie collective/performance art troupe/singing group whose music was produced by Zappa. Miller would go on to become Pamela Des Barres, author of the infamous memoir "I'm With the Band."

Companion Viewing:
"Head" (1968).

Links:
IMDb.
Understanding 200 Motels.

Take a Look:
The trailer:

Welcome to Centerville (a real nice place to raise your kids up)!

Jimmy Carl Black (the Indian of the group) performs "Lonesome Cowboy Burt":

Summer Rerun: Targets (1968).

2009-08-14T07:29:00.000-07:00

The busy minions at Desuko World HQ are taking a well-deserved summer vacation, so in the meantime, enjoy these favorite posts from the past. [Originally published Dec. 14, 2006]

The Scoop:
While "Targets" presents the story of a moral crossroads, it also represents a cinematic crossroads -- the end of the brilliant Boris Karloff's career and the start of Peter Bogdanovich's.

In his writing and directing debut, Bogdanovich crafts this cautionary, semi-autobiographical tale of aging horror movie star Byron Orlok (played by Karloff), who decides to leave the business when he realizes his life's work can't compare to the real horrors taking place on America's streets everyday. The clips of Orlok's past work are taken from the classic performances of Karloff, and to complete the real-life parallels, Bogdanovich even casts himself as the young director making Orlok's last film. There is also a parallel plot concerning a troubled young man who goes on a shooting spree that is sadly all too familiar in our post-Columbine world. These two plot strands cross when the young shooter takes refuge in a drive-in theater that turns out to be the site of Orlok's last public appearance before retirement.

This film offers an interesting exploration of the role of the entertainment media in the social upheaval of the late-'60s (it was released in the late spring of 1968, shortly after the assassination of Martin Luther King, but before the shooting of Robert Kennedy) that has grown even more prescient today. And Bogdanovich challeges the viewer by filming from the point of view of the shooter, putting the audience in the killer's shoes.

Despite his obviously failing health, Karloff gives the strongest, most human portrayal of a career marked my more depth than most horror actors'. In a perfect world, this swan song performance would've been recognized with an Oscar. Instead, the poverty-stricken Karloff followed his performance here with appearances (confined to a wheelchair) in a quartet of bad Mexican cheapies, filmed over the course of a couple weeks, before dying in 1969. But forget those duds -- this is the true, final summation of one of the truly great acting careers in film.

Best Line:
Karloff's summation, "Is that what I was afraid of?"

Best Bit:
The staging of the freeway shooting scene.

Side Notes:
1) Bogdanovich originally offered the lead role to Vincent Price, who turned it down. 2) The film showing in the drive-in at the end of the movie is "The Terror" (1963), in which Karloff costarred with a young Jack Nicholson. 3) The victim who dies in the phone booth is none other than Mike Farrell, who went on to a more distinguished career in television, starring in "M*A*S*H" and "Providence."

Companion Viewing:
Two of this film's cinematic descendents -- "Taxi Driver" (1976) and "Natural Born Killers" (1994).

Links:
IMDb.
Wikipedia.
Horror-Wood.

Take a Look:
A kinda spoiler-y TV spot:

Here's Boris Karloff spinning a classic scary tale:

And then there's this...

Guest Blog: Vince's Quiz.

2009-08-11T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today we have a guest blog from Vince, the proprietor of Vince's Quiz. He's a man of few words, so let's get right to it. Leave your guesses in the comments. And, if you want to try for the extra credit, you can guess why he chose these nine in particular. Answers to follow in a couple of weeks, or sooner if there are a lot of guesses. Good luck!

Who are these actors ? / Qui sont ces acteurs ?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Red Zone Cuba (a.k.a., Night Train to Mundo Fine) (1966).

2009-08-07T08:22:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
This is yet another Coleman Francis/Anthony Cardoza turd, only this time it is apparently Francis' grand artistic statement.

Back in the '60s and '70s, just about anybody could get John Carradine to appear in their film for about the cost of a ham sandwich, so Francis apparently blew his budget on that, and then wasted the whole thing in the first two minutes of the movie. In the opening scene, Carradine turns up as a grizzled railway worker who is telling this story to a nondescript bystander. After this incredibly short day's work, Carradine disappears from the movie forever, but not before croaking the horrendously awful theme song.

From there, the real story starts. An escaped convict (played by the auteur himself, who also wrote, directed, produced and edited this red-baiting debacle) gets mixed up with five or six revolutionaries who try to invade Cuba. After an excursion that makes the Bay of Pigs look like an epic triumph, our intrepid non-heroes get captured, and a couple of them try a semi-daring escape before getting hunted down by a half-hearted posse back in the States.

At least, that's what the plot seems to indicate. Mostly, "Red Zone Cuba" just meanders from scene to scene, without much differentiation between one setting and the next. In fact, if this film is to be believed, Cuba is just a little town in the California desert. And I think the guy with the cigar and glued-on beard is supposed to be Fidel Castro.

Best Line:
"I'm Cherokee Jack!"

Side Note:
Apparently Cherokee Jack's plane is still in use, and is currently being flown out of a small airport in Alaska.

Companion Viewing:
"The Beast of Yucca Flats" (1961) and "Invasion U.S.A." (1952).

Links:
IMDb.
The Agony Booth.
Daddy-O's Drive-In Dirt.

Take a Look:
Just try to entertained. I dare you:

Red Zone Cuba: the first 5 minutes @ Yahoo! Video

Pandora's Box (1929).

2009-08-04T08:15:00.000-07:00

The Scoop:
Silent screen legend Louise Brooks had her signature performance as Lulu in this German masterpiece. She entices, she allures, she arouses, and today, 80 years later, she still breaks hearts, both male and female alike.

Brooks' performance, still among the sexiest and most charming ever in screen history, anchors G.W. Pabst's tearjerker about a reckless party girl who gets her comeuppance at the hands of Jack the Ripper.

Once you get beyond Louise Brooks, the rest of the film is fairly conventional, but very well executed. Based on a pair of popular German plays by Frank Wedekind, some of the subject matter went beyond the bounds of what Hollywood was doing at the time, although the basic "rise and fall of an evil, heartbreaking woman" plot -- and the troubling view of women's sexuality it presented -- was a cliché even by that point. But there are also good performances by Fritz Kortner and Francis Lederer, as the father and son who get ruined by Lulu's lust. And director Pabst does a superb job of holding it all together and bringing out the best in his leading lady. And as if that wasn't enough, her haircut became iconic and started a fashion trend.

The strong-willed Brooks, who was beginning to make a name for herself in Hollywood, fled to Germany to make "Pandora's Box" out of frustration over the lack of good roles available back home. The powers that be in Hollywood never forgave her for that, though, and this movie, which launched her to superstardom, also marked the effective end of her acting career.

This film, and Brooks in particular, contain all the elements of which greatness is made, and provide a marvelous swan song for the silent era.

Best Bit:
Lulu and Alice's dance.

Side Note:
Countess Anna, played by Alice Roberts, is believed to be the first lesbian character depicted in film. Roberts didn't realize her character was gay until filming began, and although she wanted to walk off the film, she was persuaded to stay and not break her contract.

Companion Viewing:
"It" (1927).

Links:
IMDb.
Lenin Imports.
Senses of Cinema.
Silent Volume.

Take a Look:
Watch it on the YouTube installment plan, beginning here: