Wordled.

There's new content coming soon, I promise! In the meantime, here's the site rendered in Wordle (click to enlarge):



[via http://wordle.net/.]

Stargate (1994).

(Note: It's hiatus time again. The Movie Spot will return with new content in the last week of August.)

The Scoop:
When a movie is especially good or especially bad, that makes it easy to review. When it's merely average, it becomes a tougher dragon to slay. And beyond that, there are the films that are really, really average -- vigorously non-descript in a way that seems intentionally designed not to make an impression.

And then there's "Stargate."

Nothing stands out about this movie. Every aspect is competent, but not particularly praiseworthy or blame-worthy. The script tries to give a new twist to the age-old theories that the Egyptian pyramids were built by ancient aliens, but even that is swallowed whole by the all-consuming blandness of the production. If it wasn't for the fact that it spawned the highly successful (and generally better) television series "Stargate: SG-1" and "Stargate: Atlantis," there would be nothing memorable about this film at all.

So what can you say about this movie? The script, by producer Dean Devlin and director Roland Emmerich, finds Egyptologist Daniel Jackson (played by Mr. Bland himself, James Spader) discovering an alien teleportation device that sends him, Col. Jack O'Neil (Kurt Russell) and a small strike force to a distant planet ruled by the androgynous Ra (Jaye Davidson).

All the familiar hallmarks that would turn up in later Devlin/Emmerich productions -- like "Independence Day" (1996) and "Godzilla" (1998) -- are here, but they don't manage to distinguish themselves like they did in those later films. True, the imagery and effects have a way of staying with you, but you can get that from just one viewing of a trailer -- you don't need to actually sit down and watch the whole movie. The rest is just eye candy.

Best Bit:
There is none, unless you like bland.

Side Note:
As one of the last pre-CGI sci-fi effects films, Devlin and Emmerich had to do their crowd scenes the old fashioned way -- with actual bodies instead of cloning actors in the computer. However, the production's tight budget made it too expensive to hire extras, so mannequins were used instead.

Companion Viewing:
"The Fifth Element" (1997), "Stargate: SG-1" and "Stargate: Atlantis."

Links:
IMDb.
"Stargate" toys!.

Take a Look:
Dr. Jackson takes his first trip through the Stargate:


Dr. Jackson drops some knowledge (and backstory):


A clip compilation:

Rocketship X-M (1950).

The Scoop:
This purports to be the first serious film about the realities of space exploration. Boring and silly is more like it. The crew of the first-ever manned space flight takes off for the moon, led by Lloyd Bridges, John Emery and constantly-condescended-to Osa Massen as (OMG!) the First Girl in Space. Things go really, really wrong and they wind up landing on Mars instead.

What little scientific accuracy that remains quickly goes out the window as the natives of the red planet throw some rocks around, and the rocketship crew is forced to return to Earth. Unfortunately, (spoiler alert!) they don't have enough fuel to land, dying in a fiery crash instead.

And on that cheery note, the film ends. Lots of negatives here (including the cheap sets, rampant sexism and bad science), but on the plus side there is a nifty theremin score.

Best Line:
"When a Texas man says he wants to do something, that's it, period."

Side Note:
Dalton Trumbo, perhaps the most celebrated of the blacklisted screenwriters, was an uncredited cowriter with director Kurt Neumann.

Companion Viewing:
"The Angry Red Planet" (1959).

Links:
IMDb.
1,000 Misspent Hours.
KQEK soundtrack review.

Take a Look:
A few selected scenes -- followed inexplicably by a Three Stooges short:


A musical interpretation:

The Puma Man (1980).

The Scoop:
Donald Pleasance was the John Carradine of his generation (or something like that) -- a star of Oscar-caliber films who also couldn't stop making terribly bad movies. And this is definitely one of the latter.

This Italian-made cheapo monstrosity is about a dorky guy (Walter George Alton) gets chosen by the ancient Aztec gods to be the recipient of the exalted puma powers (which mostly revolve around flying, something I didn't know jungle cats knew how to do) and must fight Kobras, a Dr Evil-type (Pleasance) who plans to take over the world one person at a time with his gold-plated, mind-controlling mask.

Just watch the unintentional hilarity ensue...

Best Bit:
The geeky hero is indoctrinated into his powers by Vadinho, the leader of an Aztec cult that has waited millenia for his arrival. But first, Vadinho (Miguelangel Fuentes) must find the fledgling Puma Man, which leads to the most ridiculous sequence of the movie -- Vadinho testing random guys to see if they have the puma powers by throwing them out of high-rise windows. If the unsuspecting guy hits the ground and dies, then he isn't the Puma Man and Vadinho continues his search.

Side Note:
Alton went on to only one other starring role, in "Heavenly Bodies" (1984). Pleasance, meanwhile, appeared in more than 200 films and television shows before his death in 1995.

Companion Viewing:
"The Greatest American Hero."

Links:
IMDb.
The Puma Man action figure!

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Shamelessly copping a scene from the first "Superman" movie:

Moulin Rouge! (2001).

The Scoop:
Just look at those happy, cloying faces. So full of happiness and song, so eager to keep you entertained...

Baz Luhrmann's extravagant, self-aggrandizing, over-the-top redefinition of the movie musical is a stunning, landmark achievement despite its narrative shortcomings. Despite having an overlong running time and getting mired down in its tedious, melodramatic love story in its latter half, "Moulin Rouge!" (yes, the exclamation point is an essential part of the title) works best as a summation and celebration of all the popular music and culture of the last century. Set at the turn of the 20th century and using all the flash, glamour and storytelling magic of the turn of the 21st century, the narrative is propelled by a fascinating potpourri of music, in which hard rock, showtunes, jazz and opera are blended together seamlessly. It is as if Busby Berkeley, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and Nirvana all came together in a gloriously campy fever dream. (In fact, the soundtrack features vocal contributions from both Placido Domingo and Ozzy Osbourne.)

The story, such as it is, concerns the growing love triangle between sensitive poet Christian (Ewan MacGregor), cabaret performer Satine (Nicole Kidman) and the diabolic Duke (Richard Roxburgh). It takes place in and around the titular nightclub, the turn of the century Paris hotspot popularized by the art of Henri Toulouse-Lautrec (played here by John Leguizamo on his knees). The cast, not to mention the seemingly endless parade of extras, all are in fine voice and give fun, high-energy performances, but it is Jim Broadbent who tops them all as Harold Zidler, the ringmaster of the club's exuberant extravagance.

The film's billing as "a sensual ravishment" is an apt description -- especially in the sense that "ravishment" is a polite euphemism for "rape." Luhrmann fully crystalizes the vision he had shown earlier glimpses of in "Swing Kids" and "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" by assaulting the viewers with a kaleidescope of color, sound, editing and exuberance that is truly breathtaking. When it works, as in the first half of the film, particularly during Christian and friends' first visit to the nightclub, it is a knockout, a stunning work of genius. But as the paper-thin story begins to stray from that light-heartedness and into the turgid dramatics of the play-within-the-movie and the love triangle, the approach becomes both sappy and overbearing.

In spite of its problems, though, "Moulin Rouge!" remains a must-see film. Not only is it entertaining, but it also revived the art of the movie musical and its visual style has influenced the "baroque cabaret" styles of fashion and pop music that have persisted throughout the decade.

Best Bit:
It's a toss-up between Broadbent singing "Like a Virgin" and Kylie Minogue popping up as the green absinthe fairy.

Side Note:
During the shoot, Nicole Kidman broke two ribs and twisted a knee in one of the dance sequences. In many of the shots that wound up in the finished film, she performed in a wheelchair.

Companion Viewing:
"Moulin Rouge" (1952), "42nd Street" (1933), "Singin' in the Rain" (1952), "American Pop" (1981) and any number of Panic at the Disco music videos.

Links:
IMDb.
Hollywood Teen Movies.
LazyDork's "Moulin Rouge" Drinking Game.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Ewan MacGregor sweeps all the ladies off their feet with "Your Song":


The "Roxanne" tango:

Let's Rock (1958).

The Scoop:
This is a rock 'n' roll movie? Uh.... I think not. Instead, the film perfectly encapsulates that bland post-Elvis, pre-Beatles period in pop music when everything on the charts was saccharine-coated and aimed at pleasing the parents, not the kids.

"Let's Rock" follows boring balladeer Tony Adane (Julius LaRosa) as he tries to stay true to his "art" by resisting the shift to rock 'n' roll, only to eventually give in at the end and get the girl (Phyllis Newman). In short, strictly by-the-numbers work from writer Hal Hackady and director Harry Foster. That's fairly par for the course in these early rock 'n' roll movies, which get their strength on the backs of their musical performances. These films were merely meant to showcase the recording artists -- any plot we might get is purely incidental.

However, the examples of "rock 'n' roll" on display here (performed by Paul Anka and the like) aren't much different than Tony's tunes. In fact, the rockingest song in the film is the innocuous "At the Hop," performed by Danny and Juniors. The only reason to even consider watching this, besides the appearances by the young Wink Martindale and Della Reese, is the ongoing (purely unintentional but amusing) homoerotic subtext between Tony and his "entourage."

Best Bit:
The weird dancing kids in the park.

Side Note:
Reese didn't appear on screen again for another 11 years, when she hosted her own TV series, "Della," starting in 1969, and didn't make another film until "Psychic Killer" in 1975.

Companion Viewing:
All the better early rock 'n' roll films.

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
Here's a totally low-tech clip of Reese singing "Lovelyville":

Hercules (1958).

The Scoop:
With all his bone-headed bravado, Steve Reeves makes a much better Hercules than Kevin Sorbo, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Reg Park, or any of the other actors who also became associated with the role. And this production, the former Mr. Universe's first outing in the character and imported to this country by Joseph E. Levine, is responsible for starting the cycle of Italian muscle epics that dominated the drive-ins in the late 1950s and early 1960s.

Ostensibly an adaptation of Herc's familiar story, this is actually a conglomeration of various Greek myths, thrown together Cuisinart-style for our enjoyment. Just don't look to this for any kind of accuracy. Sure, we get to see him perform some of his famous labors, but he mixes it up with the Amazons, hogs all the credit for Jason's recovery of the Golden Fleece, and even gets to do his best Samson impression.

This film is also a milestone in many ways. In his marketing of the movie in the U.S., Levine pioneered the concept of "saturation booking," in which a film is released on as many screens as possible on its opening weekend in an effort to maximize its up-front gross. This is standard practice among Hollywood blockbusters even to this day. Its success also single-handedly created the "sword and sandal" genre that would dominate the Italian film industry for the next decade.

"Hercules" is fun, albeit in a mindless, lazy Sunday afternoon sort of way. The undemanding story is pulled off with energy and bravado (something that certainly can't be said for the legions of imitators this film spawned) and Reeves seems perfectly comfortable in some of the most ridiculous circumstances. The cinematography in particular is impressive, but that should come as no surprise because it was handled by Italy's maestro of the art, Mario Bava.

Best Line:
"The time goes slowly here at sea. I think I'll start a calendar -- one notch for each day."

Side Note:
The tagline for the original U.S. release described Hercules as "Half god! Half pagan!"

Companion Viewing:
"Clash of the Titans" (1981).

Links:
IMDb.
Hollywood Teen Movies.

Take a Look:
Why Hercules shouldn't try out for the debate team:


The whole film:

Dante's Inferno (2007).

The Scoop:
One unintended consequence of the electronic media age has been a change in the way we experience classic (i.e., pre-20th century) literature. Now it's all about the adaptation. (Of course, these adaptations make sense for the filmmakers, who get cheap access to familiar material and don't have to deal with authors who demand royalties or protest changes in the script.) More and more, one's first encounter with Shakespeare or Dickens or countless other authors is through a film or television adaptation of one of their works. If audiences aren't rushing to the cineplex for their first tastes of these classics, they are getting them in the classroom -- teachers typically now accompany their reading assignments with screenings of films based on these works to help students better understand them. Shakespeare has now become inseparable from Olivier or Branagh, and Jane Austen from the starlet du jour.

All of which brings us to this version of "Dante's Inferno."

Italian poet Dante Alighieri's "Comedy" -- his epic tale of his journey through hell ("Inferno"), purgatory ("Purgatorio") and heaven ("Paradiso") under the tutelage of his idol, the Roman poet Virgil and Dante's beloved Beatrice -- is notoriously resistant to onscreen adaptation. Except for a couple perfunctory stabs from the silent era and a BBC miniseries from the 1980s, little straight adaptation has been done of the poem. More commonly, elements of the "Comedy" have been used as inspirations or jumping-off points for newer works. (One typical example is the 1935film "Dante's Inferno," a turgid morality play in which Spencer Tracy plays a carnival barker wrestling with the ethics of his profession. The attraction he shills for, a ride based on "Inferno," is shown in only a few scenes, primarily as a comment on the action of the main story.)

So give filmmakers Sean Meredith, Sandow Birk and Paul Zaloom credit for attempting a full adaptation of "Inferno." One reason adaptors have stayed away from Dante is his work's resistance to modernized spins on the material (something that has become a staple of filmed Shakespeare, for instance). But the threesome give it a try, mixing in modern situations and personalities with the arcane issues and obscure historical figures used by Dante. Credit should also go to them for doing it in the form of a puppet show.

In this version Dante (voiced by Dermot Mulroney) wakes up hung over in a seedy alley, not knowing how he got there. He his approached by Virgil (James Cromwell), who leads him down a sewer into the pit of hell, where they encounter pimps and whores, corporate malfeasance and urban decay to go along with the medieval horrors chronicled in the original.

The puppetwork, using paper figures that manage to be terrifically expressive, is wonderful, but many of the other creative choices fall flat. For every update that works (portraying the Maleboge demons as hypervigilant T.S.A. agents, or mounting Ulysses' story as a puppet show within a puppet show) there are a handful that don't (Lucifer's fondue pot, or the multiple references to the rock band Styx).

Pacing is a problem as well. By the film's halfway mark, Virgil and Dante have raced through the first seven pits of hell, then spend the last half in a leisurely stroll through the final two pits, including plenty of non-Dante tangents along the way. Also, purists may be offended that (spoiler alert!) Dante's trip through hell ends with him back on earth rather than preparing to scale the mountain of purgatory.

But in all it's an admirable effort to try to make a 700-year-old epic poem relevant to modern audiences. The somewhat basic approach may make it cringe-worthy for Dante aficionados. But that makes it ideal for use in a high school classroom, giving another generation an opening to understanding a monumental piece of literature.

Best Bit:
The Pope John Paul II cameo.

Side Note:
Zaloom is better known as Beakman from the TV show "Beakman's World."

Companion Viewing:
"Dante's Inferno" (1935).

Links:
IMDb.
Official Site.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


A song and dance number explaining the grip lobbyists hold on Congress: