RKO 281 (1999).

The Scoop:
This HBO original, which won a Golden Globe for Best Television Movie, tells the behind-the-scene stories of Orson Welles' crusade to make "Citizen Kane." (RKO 281 was the production number assigned to "Citizen Kane" by the studio.) Although it is a little on the short side at just over 80 minutes and rushes through many of the details, it features several great performances and offers an engaging look at the friendship between Welles and Herman J. Mankiewicz.

Liev Schrieber gives a surprisingly good performance as Welles, John Malkovich is up to his usual schtick as Mankiewicz, and Marion Davies is another one of those bimbo roles Melanie Griffith was born to play. And even though James Cromwell's interpretation of William Randolph Hearst borders on Don Corleone territory, it isn't distracting.

Most importantly, this film makes the point that "Citizen Kane" was as much about Welles himself as it was about Hearst. Director Benjamin Ross and writer John Logan highlight many of the contradictory foibles -- both his storytelling genius and his self-destructive arrogance -- that would make Welles a major figure in film history, but would also eventually ruin him creatively.

Best Line:
"It is not my life you sabotaged with your movie, Mr. Welles. My battle with the world is almost over. Yours, I'm afraid, is just begun."

Side Note:
Based on the documentary "The Battle Over Citizen Kane" (1996).

Companion Viewing:
"Citizen Kane" (1941).

Links:
IMDb.
Logan's script.

Take a Look:
Welles and Bernard Herrmann (Kerry Shale) tackle the score:


Welles and Mankewicz discuss Heart's involvement in the death of director Thomas Ince (followed by scenes from "The Cat's Meow," a film about the Ince case):

The Bloody Pit of Horror (a.k.a., The Crimson Executioner) (1965).

The Scoop:
In this bargain basement Italian production, a group of models, photographers and assorted hangers-on visit an old castle for a photo shoot, only to run into the demented owner who thinks he's possessed by the spirit of the Crimson Executioner, a 17th century torturer.

Despite the poor acting and technical incompetence, this is charming in its own sleazy way and is most notable for the presence of Mickey (Mr. Jayne Mansfield) Hargitay, who plays the owner. He camps it up big time, and the camera obviously loves his oiled-up body. He's the highlight of the movie, although the torture and titillation, which are very tame by today's standards, hold a certain cheesy charm on their own terms.

Don't you dare call yourself a bad movie lover if you haven't seen this one yet.

Best Line:
"Mankind is made up of inferior creatures, spiritually and physically deformed, who would have corrupted the harmony of my perfect body."

Side Note:
Hartigay won the Mr. Universe title in 1955 and followed that up with a string of B-movies, including "Hercules vs. the Hydra" and "Lady Frankenstein." His rocky six-year marriage to Mansfield was tabloid fodder throughout the late 1950s and early 1960s,, and their daughter Mariska Hartigay has won both an Emmy and a Golden Globe for starring in "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit."

Companion Viewing:
"Baron Blood" (1972) and "Lady Frankenstein" (1971).

Links:
IMDb.
Cool Cinema Trash.
Images Journal.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Mickey chews some scenery:

Zero Hour! (1957).

The Scoop:
Stop me if you've heard this one before -- a cross-country flight is put in peril when the entire crew and several passengers get sick with food poisoning and it's up to shaky, battle-scarred former fighter pilot Ted Styker to land the plane with a little help from a tough-as-nails pilot on the ground.

This is better known as the plot of "Airplane!" but the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team didn't think it up themselves. While their film was a spoof of '70s disaster movies like the "Airport" series, they lifted their plot, characters, and even whole scenes and chunks of dialogue, wholesale from "Zero Hour!"

Dana Andrews plays Stryker, a decorated Canadian World War II pilot whose post-traumatic stress disorder keeps him out of the air until he's forced to board a cross-country flight to keep his wife (Linda Darnell) from leaving him. Naturally, the fog gets thick and the fish is bad, so Stryker winds up in the cockpit and it's up to Capt. Treleaven (Sterling Hayden, channeling Jack Webb) to talk him through it.

ZAZ skewered this thing so thoroughly that it's hard to watch it seriously now. But on its own, its a taut little thriller that's marred slightly by hamminess and some unintentional humor. Still a load of fun, though.

Best Bit:
The ventriloquist act, which belongs in a ZAZ movie.

Side Note:
The pilot is played NFL Hall-of-Famer Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsch.

Companion Viewing:
"Airplane!" (1980), of course.

Links:
IMDb.
A transcript annotated with notes on what was later used in "Airplane!"

Take a Look:
The trailer:


A side-by-side comparison of "Zero Hour!" and "Airplane!":

The House Bunny (2008).

The Scoop:
In "The House Bunny," Anna Faris is great as a Playboy bunny turned sorority house mother, but the rest of the film needs a lot of help.

Faris plays Shelley, an aspiring centerfold who gets kicked out of the Playboy Mansion and is taken in as a house mother by the nerdy, awkward sisters of Zeta Alpha Zeta. She helps them have their sorority house by giving them makeovers and making them popular, while they show her that there's more to life than being an airheaded nude model.

The script from Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith (based on an idea by Faris) has plenty of good one-liners, but the beyond that it is clunky and filled with just about every cliche you can imagine. There are some good performances, particularly from Faris, Emma Stone and Kat Denning. But they can't outweigh the wooden presence of Hugh Hefner (as himself, of course) and Tyson Ritter (the lead singer of All-American Rejects). Nor can it outweigh the fact that no film with a PG-13 rating is able to get to the truly good material to be found in either sorority houses or the Playboy Mansion. And let's not get into the questionable gender politics.

In fact, "The House Bunny" feels less like a contemporary story and more like a throwback to the popular comedies of 30 years ago. (It's no coincidence that the sorority's name is abbreviated ZAZ.) But unfortunately it falls just a bit short of being worthy of their company. Yet it is a little fluffy, mindless fun for a rainy day of movie watching -- if you can get past the premise that a woman's highest goal should be to meet a guy.

Best Line:
"Do you know where the crapper is? I have to do a very mysterious thing in there."

Side Note:
Celebrity offspring alert! Tom Hanks' boy Colin plays Shelley's love interest, Oliver, and Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) plays Joanne, the Zeta girl who won't give up her back brace.

Companion Viewing:
"National Lampoon's Animal House" (1978) and "Clueless" (1995).

Links:
IMDb.
Official site.
Missives From Marx.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


"American Idol" star Katherine McPhee (who also plays Zeta girl Harmony) leads her costars in singing the sadly non-ironic theme song:

Ocean's 11 (1960).

The Scoop:
It's Vegas, baby! The Rat Pack was groovy, and this film presents them at their height.

All the usual suspects are here (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Angie Dickinson, Joey Bishop, Peter Lawford) as well as a few other familiar ones (Cesar Romero, Norman Fell, Henry Silva, Akim Tamiroff), in this tale of Danny Ocean (Sinatra at his coolest) who brings together his old army buddies to pull off a daring heist -- robbing the five major Las Vegas casinos simultaneously at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. Director Lewis Milestone keeps the pace lively and fun, and the camaraderie between the Rat Packers is palpable on screen. Even though it clocks in at more than two hours, it flies by when you feel like you're in the company of old friends.

If you're a fan of old school Vegas or vintage midcentury modernism, this film has everything you need. Sure, Steven Soderbergh's 2001 remake might have had some good action and the presence of Clooney, Pitt, Damon, et al., but it still can't touch the original for great music, plenty of swingin' attitude and vintage Vegas atmosphere.

Best Line:
"I'm so drunk, I don't think I could lie down without holding on!" (This is a punchline to an old Dean Martin routine, which was borrowed by Shirley MacLaine when she ad-libbed her cameo appearance.)

Side Note:
Because all the stars were such good pals, they ad-libbed big chunks of the dialogue, with a lot of the material coming from in jokes and private references.

Companion Viewing:
"Swingers" (1996) and "Ocean's 11" (2001).

Links:
IMDb.
Fan page with sound bites.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Sammy Davis Jr. sings "Ee-O 11":

Mister Rock and Roll (1957).

The Scoop:
Plot? Who needs plot?

This celebrity vehicle for pioneering rock 'n' roll deejay Alan Freed keeps only the barest essentials of a plot in what is essentially a film version of his radio show. Freed, playing himself, announces each song, then the performers lip sync their way through their numbers. And what a lineup it is - Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers, LaVern Baker, Shaye Cogan and, for some reason, Lionel Hampton.

There are also a couple of inconsequential scenes of a magazine writer who gets herself involved with a clean cut rock singer, but you can safely skip those. It's all about the music.

Freed seriously tones down the raucousness of early rock music, but the film does get points for showcasing both black and white acts, a rarity in the old days. "Mister Rock and Roll" isn't the best of the early rock movies, but there are some essential performances.

Best Line:
"If I'm guilty of anything, I'm guilty of being present at the birth of rock 'n' roll!"

Side Note:
Directed by Charles S. Dubin, best known for his long career in telvision, having directed episodes of "Murder, She Wrote," "Matlock" and "The Father Dowling Mysteries."

Companion Viewing:
"Go, Johnny, Go!" (1958).

Links:
IMDb.
An introduction to Alan Freed on RareSoul.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


The whole film (part 1):

Coyote Ugly (2000).

The Scoop:
Naïve small town girl moves to the big city looking for fame, only to come face-to-face with the harsh realities of trying to make it in the big time. But thanks to a new love and some quirky friends she meets along the way, she finds her niche in an unexpected place and finally succeeds in living her dreams.

Yeah, we've all heard this tired tale -- quite literally -- a thousand times before, but for some reason Jerry Bruckheimer thought we needed to hear it again in "Coyote Ugly."

Bruckheimer produced this twaddle from writer Gina Wendkos ("The Princess Diaries") and director David McNally ("Kangaroo Jack") about aspiring songwriter Violet (Piper Perabo) who moves to New York City to make it big in the music industry. After getting doors slammed in her face all over town, she has a too-cute meeting with Australian hunk Kevin (Adam Garcia) and finds work with gruff Coyote Ugly bar owner Lil (Maria Bello). The bar's big attraction is the hot women (Bridget Moynahan, Izabella Miko, Tyra Banks) dancing it up on top of the bar and giving the male customers plenty of attitude. Of course, all this helps Violet get over her stage fright and live her dreams -- which apparently just consists of selling one mediocre song to LeAnn Rimes.

There are only two reasons to watch this movie (unless you're a bad movie aficionado, in which case you'll find hundreds of reasons). The first is the jiggling women on the bar top (if you're into that sort of thing). The bar sequences, for all their predictability, are actually staged pretty well and inject the only sort of life or energy the film has. As soon as the narrative steps outside the bar, the whole movie just deflates like a balloon on the morning after the party.

The second reason is the performance of John Goodman as Violet's over-protective father. Like every other character, Bill is a one-dimensional caricature, but in Goodman's hands he transcends the source material and becomes closer to a fully-realized person than the audience has any right to expect. Goodman polishes this turd like the solid professional he is.

But other than that, it's a wash. You might enjoy some of it along the way, but you'll hate yourself in the morning.

Best Bit:
Ellen Cleghorne's cameo as the music company receptionist.

Side Note:
The real life Coyote Ugly bar was opened in New York in 1993 by Liliana Lovell, who was the basis of Bello's character in the movie. After the success of the film, Lovell franchised the operation. At its height, the chain boasted 19 bars across the United States. Fifteen are still in operation today, but that includes three in Europe.

Companion Viewing:
"Flashdance" (1983).

Links:
IMDb.
Cinema de Merde.
Movie Mistakes (warning: this is a long one).
The chain's official site.
The Urban Dictionary definition.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


Just the bar dancing scenes:

Meatballs (1979).

The Scoop:
Maybe it’s because I was raised on them, but the juvenile comedies of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s are a lot more entertaining than those that came before or after. The masters of the genre were Ivan Reitman, John Landis, Harold Ramis and the alums of the original “Saturday Night Live” cast. You can see their best work in “Animal House,” “Caddyshack” or “The Jerk” but, sadly, not in “Meatballs.”

Directed by Reitman (and written by Ramis, Len Blum, Dan Goldberg and Janis Allen), “Meatballs” is the episodic, disjointed story of a summer among the misfits at Camp North Star. Bill Murray stars as activities director Tripper alongside a bunch of folks you’ve probably never heard of. Murray sleepwalks through this, his first film role, but as he’s proved repeatedly in his 30+ year career, he can still do that and be entertaining. The rest of the film is fun too, although pretty insubstantial; there’s no plot to speak of and many of the jokes fall flat. Despite some nice moments between Tripper and Rudy (Chris Makepeace), “Meatballs” really isn’t essential viewing.

Best Bit:
Tripper explains the perks of rival Camp Mohawk.

Side Note:
This was filmed at Camp White Pine in Haliburton, Ontario, during summer camp season. The real life campers were used as extras in several scenes.

Companion Viewing:
"Stripes" (1979) and "Caddyshack" (1980).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
The trailer:


It just doesn't matter!