Ace in the Hole (1951).

The Scoop:
In this underrated gem (which you may also find under the title "The Big Carnival"), Kirk Douglas is excellent as ambitious big city reporter Charles Tatum who is stuck in a small town newspaper office in New Mexico. Just when he can't stand the slow pace anymore, a local man becomes trapped in a mine, so Tatum takes charge of the situation and even hinders the rescue effort in an attempt to fan the incident into a major national story and further his own career. Billy Wilder (who directed and co-scripted with Walter Newman and Lesser Samuels) creates a scathing satire of journalistic ambition that plays just as well today as it did more than half a century ago.

Great acting all around, and a prescient look at the dark side of human nature. Unfortunately it was a flop when it was initially released -- so much so that Paramount decided to recoup their losses by taking a bigger slice of Wilder's share of the profits for his next film, the hit "Stalag 17" (1953). But over the years, "Ace in the Hole" has finally earned its reputation as one of Wilder's masterpieces and its long-awaited DVD release will be finally coming later this year.

Best Line:
"I've met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my time, but you - you're twenty minutes."

Side Note:
This is based on an actual 1925 incident in Kentucky, which was also the basis of the novel "The Cave" by Robert Penn Warren.

Companion Viewing:
"Mad City" (1997), which is a very loose remake.

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
Tatum lands himself a job:

Two Girls and a Guy (1997).

The Scoop:
The two women (Heather Graham and Natasha Gregson Wagner) in a love triangle find out about each other and confront their mutual boyfriend (Robert Downey, Jr.), forcing him to be honest for once in his life.

Although writer/director James Toback delivers a very stagey production (the material would work much better as a play than a film), the acting of all three leads is top-notch (even from the often spotty Wagner) and fascinating to watch. In fact, this whole movie is an actor's dream, offering these three several opportunities to show off their chops -- particularly Downey, who is a natural as the weasely prick. Most of the dialogue was improvised and, while it may not offer the most edge-of-your-seat entertainment (although there is a great sex scene), watching this provides a great workshop in the craft of acting, and a few insights into romantic relationships as well.

Best Line:
"Hey Blake, do you want to braid Carla's hair with me?"

Side Note:
Downey shot this during weekend furloughs while serving one of his many jail stints for drug charges.

Companion Viewing:
"Reservoir Dogs" (1992).

Links:
IMDb.
The official site, which still exists a full decade after the film was released.

Take a Look:
The trailer is available at IMDb.

And here's a tease from the sex scene:

The Scarlet Letter (1926).

The Scoop:
Even into the 1920s, Nathaniel Hawthorne's most famous novel was still being censored in many parts of the country, so mounting a film version was no mean feat. Star Lillian Gish was the driving force behind getting this film made, and it was her years of persistence in petitioning studio executives and local morality groups that finally paid off in the release of this film. And she didn't stop there; she followed through with one of her finest performances of her career. Her interpretation of Hester Prynne is still vivid and moving more than eight decades later.

In addition, this adaptation by writer Frances Marion and director Victor Sjöström boasts gorgeous cinematography and the resotred print from 2000 has a wonderful new score by Lisa Ann Miller and Mark Northam. Forget Demi Moore -- Gish's Hester Prynne is perhaps the definitive screen interpretation of that classic character (particularly during the devestating punishment scene), making this one of the greatest silents ever made. Even Lars Hanson's occasional overemoting as Arthur Dimmesdale cannot dampen the power of this movie.

Best Line:
"It would be pleasant, sir, to walk beside thee and hear thee condemn me for my sins."

Side Note:
Before coming to MGM to make this movie, Gish had previously directed "Remodeling Her Husband" (1920), starring her sister Dorothy.

Companion Viewing:
"Greed" (1924).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
You can stream the whole film from Google Video.

Orgy of the Dead (1965).

(Alright! Blogger's working again!)

The Scoop:
Leave it to the colossally inept Ed Wood to manage to make dancing naked women boring. Even the help of director A.C. Stephens can't save this entry in the '60s nudie cycle. The plot: a teenage couple get lost in a cemetery at night and witness a demonic ceremony presided over by Wood regular Criswell. This 10 minutes of plot is padded out by about 80 minutes of dancing "ghouls" (in reality, bad strippers in funny costumes who probably worked really cheap). The video cassette box trumpets this as "a masterpice of erotic horror." Wrong on all three counts. If you can stay awake through through the long stretches of nothing happening, there are some laugh-worthy moments. Makes "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look polished and watchable by comparison.

Best Bit:
"Torture! Torture! It pleases me!"

Side Note:
This is allegedly based on a novel. Or, should I say, it is based on an alleged novel, which is what most of Wood's work at the time was.

Companion Viewing:
"Kiss Me Quick!" (1964) and "Nude on the Moon" (1961).

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
There's a modest treasure trove of clips over on YouTube:

1) Here's the cat dance. Repeat this sequence a couple dozen more times and you basically have the whole movie:


2) "And I thought you loved me!"


3) Um... "Action"...?

Metapost: Blogger Hates Us All.

Blogger's being retarded right now, so I'll have a new post up for you all soon. Are you ready for some... Ed Wood?

The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004).

The Scoop:
It's notoriously difficult for TV series to make the successful jump to the big screen. So, when they are used to creating tightly structured 10-minute episodes, you'd think the creators of "Spongebob Squarepants" would be seriously in over their heads trying to fill a 90-minutes feature film. Well, you'd be wrong, because the "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" delivers, big time.

This time around, Plankton sets in motion another complicated plan to steal the Krabby Patty formula (thereby taking over the world) which involves stealing King Neptune's crown. So, it's up to Spongebob and Patrick to retrieve the crown from the dreaded Shell City and save the day. The story is tight and briskly paced, the jokes keep coming, and there's plenty of great music. (While the characters sing most of the songs during the movie, the soundtrack also features nifty tracks by the likes of the Flaming Lips, Ween, Wilco and even Motorhead, most of which can be heard over the end credits.)

The regular cast of voice talent turn in their usual good performances, but so do the celebrity guest voices -- Scarlett Johansson, Jeffrey Tambor and Alec Baldwin.

And as if all that wasn't enough, the film even has The Best David Hasselhoff Cameo Ever. That alone is worth the price of admission.

There aren't many drawbacks to the movie, except that some of the regular characters (particularly Sandy Cheeks and Gary the Snail) have been reduced to little more than walk-on parts. Even Squidward to horribly under-utilized. But in their place we get huge slabs of Plankton (not necessarily a bad thing at all) and we also get to see a lot more of the undersea world outside Bikini Bottom.

"Spongebob" is one of those rare animated series that appeal just as much to adults as to kids, but if you're new to the show and unfamiliar with the characters, you might want to start with some TV episodes just to learn who everyone is. But it's worth it to get the most out of this thoroughly enjoyable movie.

Best Line:
"You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio!"

Best Bit:
The “Goofy Goober Rock” number. Raise those devil’s horns!

Side Note:
If "Goofy Goober Rock" sounds familiar, that's because it's simply Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock" with new lyrics.

Companion Viewing:
Why, the TV episodes, of course!

Links:
IMDb.
Official Site.
Bright Lights Film Journal: "Bikini Bottom Babylon". (Warning: some spoilers. Beyond that, an excellent critique of the movie.)

Take a Look:
The fine folks at Viacom seem to have scoured the Net clean of all clips from the movie, so you'll have to make do with these trailers from the official site. There do seem to be about 10 gajillion fan-made videos for "Goofy Goober Rock" over on YouTube, so you can check those out as well.

Last Days of Planet Earth (1974).

The Scoop:
Giants sea slugs, sentient plants and other assorted beasties threaten to destroy the world -- all in accordance with the predictions of Nostradamus. (As the introductory voice over makes clear, he also predicted World War II, so you know it must be true!) Light on plot and heavy on old guys arguing dubious science, this film also sets a new world record for the use of stock footage. There is supposed to be an environmental activism message here, but that kind of gets lost in the onslaught of cheese. This is strictly bottom-of-the-barrel Toho fare that makes their rubbery Godzilla sagas look like masterpieces. But at least the opening theme music is kinda groovy. And keep an eye out for the scene in which a single car crash pretty much blows up all of Tokyo.

Best Bit:
The well-dressed salaryman sitting in the tree. No reason, really. He's just sitting there.

Side Note:
The original, uncut version of the film is still banned in its native Japan because of a cannibalism scene.

Companion Viewing:
Only a double bill of something like "Godzilla, King of the Monsters" (1954) and "When Worlds Collide" (1951) can give you a hint of what to expect here.

Links:
IMDb.

Take a Look:
Here's the original Japanese-language trailer, which somehow manages to leave out all the coolest, most ridiculous parts (except for the fiery car crash, which you can see a little bit of at the end):

Lady Frankenstein (1971).

The Scoop:
The mad doctor's sexy daughter returns from medical school to discover the true nature of her father's experiments. Naturally, she wants to pitch in and help, especially after dad gets killed right away by his own creation. Lady F decides that the best course of action is to create a monster of her own to defeat her father's monster, which has escaped and is terrorizing the countryside. Naturally, she picks the hunkiest guy in the village to start operating on (both medically and sexually).

This lightweight Italian pseudo-Hammer production turns up the sexual quotient of the story beyond any previous version, even if it seems somewhat dated by today's standards. Joseph Cotton is strictly slumming as Papa F (in what amounts to little more than extended, wasted cameo), but Sara Bey is sexy and conniving in the title role. Primo '70s Italo-exploito-trash -- too bad the effects are so piss-poor.

Best Bit:
Lady F getting off on having passionate sex with Thomas, the village's hunky idiot, while her assistant smothers him with a pillow.

Side Note:
Don't let all those Anglicanized names in the credits fool you -- aside from Joseph Cotton, they're mostly all Italians. For instance, Sara Bey is actually Italian horror queen Rosalba Neri and co-director Harry Cushing is really Aureliano Luppi.

Companion Viewing:
"Andy Warhol's Frankenstein" (1974).

Links:
IMDb.
Retro Junk.

Take a Look:
Check out the whole thing via Google video: